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The last remaining Titanic survivor, who threw an extremely valuable rock into the ocean 12 years ago, died at the spry age of 97.  Millvina Dean was 2 months old when the boat sank.  titanicShe was lowered into her lifeboat in a sack and was one of the few steerage passengers to survive.

She credited her survival to he quick-thinking father.  As he felt the iceberg hit, he reacted immediately and brought the family up before the rest of the poor were locked in.

Since she broke her hip, she had to live in a nursing home, which she could not afford.  She was forced to sell her Titanic memorabilia and deeply regretted throwing that damn stone into the drink.  Kate Winslet, Leo DiCaprio & James Cameron stepped in to help pay for her care last month.  They now breathe a sigh of relief.  "I was afraid that I’d be paying for that old bat’s care for the next ten years," said Winslet in a statement released to the press.  "But Jimmy (Cameron) assured me that he’d have someone ‘slip her a Mickey’ in the coming months."

DiCaprio was also relieved.  "Every minute I spent with that old coot was a minute spent dodging her roaming hands.  God, she was a horny old battleaxe."

Celine Dion could care less about the whole story.

This hit goes to: Pirate Jen!  This moves Pirate up to… oh, OK.  She stays in the same spot on the list.  but now she has twice the points that I have!

Die, Nancy, die!



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