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Yesterday, the king of pop died a mysterious death at they spry age of 50.  He suffered a cardiac arrest.  Whether he was sharing a bed with an 11-year-old boy at the time has not been  confirmed.michael jackson 1

Ghoul Pool, sources close to the case have found that Jackson’s death comes at the end of a long bout with a severe case of the Mama-se-Mama-sa-Ma-Mock-oo-sa’s.

Other sources that Jackson died because his nose collapsed into itself, but pop-watchers all know that that happen ten years ago.

Soon after his death, Jackson reportedly crawled out of a  sewer and joined in an elaborate dance number with his fellow recently-departed.  You could almost here Vincent Price laughing in the background…

Jackson will be remembered for… well, a myriad of things.  He was the kid  star who sang "ABC."  Then he had plastic surgery.  He proved that he had the chops to go solo with "Of The wall."  Then he had surgery.  He starred in "The Wiz."  Then he had plastic surgery.  He recorded one of the biggest albums in the history of recorded music, "Thriller."  Then he had plastic surgery.  He changed the music video industry forever with the epic video for "Thriller."  Then he had plastic surgery.  He "slept" with McCauley Kulkin.  Then he had plastic surgery.  He built the Neverland ranch with Ferris wheel and all.  Then he had plastic surgery.  He went broke. Then he had plastic surgery.  He lost the Neverland ranch.  Then he had-    well, you get it.

Jackson’s spin out of control became more public when he was interviewed by Martin Bashir, who was given "full" access to Jackson’s life.  This was where Jackson said that he shared a bed with little boys but that there was no sex involved and to think so was "just ignorant."  Seriously, no punch line needed.

He was seen going shopping and spending about $750,000 in three minutes.  Money’s wasted on the rich.

Then, in Berlin, he dangled his child out of a balcony for the press to see.  When the police questioned him, he claimed that he was helping housekeeping by hanging his blanket out to dry.

And let’s not forget the de-evolution of his face.  Year after year, his skin got lighter and his face imploded until he looked suspiciously like Lord Voldetmort.

in the end, not really a guy you can sit around and toss back a few beer with… unless the bar was in an oxygen tent.

This surprising hit goes to: Gabe.  She moonwalks her way onto the board and steals Mary’s thunder.

now, today, I want every one to wear a single black glove as a sign of mourning.

happy pooling and Die, Cronkite, die!

SPMI

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