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Former owner of the NBA’s Washington Wizards (formerly the Washington Bullets, formerly the Baltimore Bullets) and the NHL’s Washington Capitols, Abe Pollin, died at the spry age of 85.
Pollin was known for moving his teams into dilapidated neighborhoods and rebuilding them under the tent pole of a professional sporting franchise.
Since his passing, his business manager has announced that Pollin plans on moving the New Jersey Devils to.. you guessed it: Hell.
"The eternally damned have been unemployed for too long," Pollin’s organization explained in a statement to the press "and it’s time to rejuvenate the underworld’s economy."
While many New Jersey fans are not pleased with the move, they look forward to having a home team to root for in their afterlives.  "I’d rather rot in hell than root for the Rangers," commented an angry dante Hicks from Red Bank, NJ. 
The Devils will be laying in Hell’s newly erected Enron Stadium starting next season.
This hit goes to: Tailgating with Jesus!  Yes, after the success of Bean’s theme last year, he’s hoping to pull out a winner this year.  And if no one else dies in the next 11 months, I’d say he’s got it locked up!

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