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The symbol of hot, throbbing lovin’ and raw masculinity-turned symbol of pathetic impotence, Teddy Pendergrass, died at the spry age of 59.100113-pendergrass-vmed-9p.widec

Pendergrass, who’s hits include “Close the Door,” “It Don’t Hurt Now,” and “Love T.K.O,” was an R&B superstar until he was injured in a car accident that left him paralyzed in 1982.

He could still sing after the accident, but his voice lacked the raw power that it once had.  Think Christopher Reeve reading for Superman in his wheel chair.  Or Michael Dukakis sitting in a tank (not sure where that visual came from, but it fits).

Plus, even if he could still sing, what’s he gonna sing?  "I’m gonna lay you down by the fire and… can you help with-  yeah, that’s it.  now the other leg-  OK, now, move the chair back and- OW!  OK, ok, ok. Stop.  OK.  Now: move my left arm counterwise…"

The first hit of the decade (OK, I know, the decade really starts in 2011) goes to: Mary!  She is catapulted (over two people) into the lead! 

Think of it as a baby shower gift from Teddy – he died before he turned 60, giving you an extra 10 points.  Now, of course, you have to name Baby Boy Lavado Teddy Lavado.

happy pooling (And Die, Jimmy Ray, DIE!),

SPMI

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