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All My Children star James Mitchell (born Pete Cooney) is presumed dead under suspicious circumstances at the spry age of 89.

He was trapped in the trunk of a car car that was being driven 50928_1by his nemesis’s seemingly mentally handicapped brother (or was it actually Adam pretending to be his brother?).  The car careened off of a cliff and exploded on the rocky, California shoreline. 

His body hasn’t been found… But we’re pretty sure he’s dead- Yeah.  he’s definitely dead.  He won’t be coming back in a shocker ending of a Friday episode… or will he…

Mitchell was reportedly tracking evidence that the same person who murdered his niece, Dixie, also perpetrated the kidnapping of his great-nephew, Little A.  this according to Little A’s parents, Big A & Medium L.

Unsubstantiated reports say that long time rival, Adam Chandler, stuffed Mitchell into the trunk after quite a donnybrook (or, at least, as much of a donnybrook that an 89 year-old man can handle) that ensued after a commercial-break’s worth of glowering at each other. 

It is believed that Adam’s brother, who is either a charming, lovable ree-ree, or a conniving faker, was driving the car when the brakes mysteriously failed sending the car hurtling off of a cliff that was clearly shown in an earlier establishing shot.

The driver is presumed alive because if he’s a charming, lovable ree-ree, you can’t kill him.  You never kill Corky.  And if he is a conniving faker, then revenge must be reeked, like so much havoc.

This hit went to Ghoul Pool returnee, Schelle’y.  Yes, she has an apostrophe in her first name and, most likely, more points than you.  This puts Schelle’y on the board with 20 points, which again, is more than most of us.  We still suck.

Die, James, die!

Happy pooling,



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