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Tony Curtis died at the spry age of 85.  While cause of death was not released, his daughter, Jamie Lee, was over-heard whispering to her barista that he died of loving Spartacus “just too darn much.”

Curtis, who witnessed the Valentine’s Day Massacre, was born in Manhattan’s Hell’s Kitchen, where only Brussle Sprouts are prepared over the roasting souls of the damned (which give them a nice, smoky flavor).

He got into show business while pretending to be a woman in an all-girls band.  But chicanery soon ensued.

He went on to roles in such movies as “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman” and “Roseanne.”

But his career pinnacled when he got to work with his hero.  No, not Cary Grant in “Operation Petticoat.”  I’m talking about when he voiced the role of Stony Curtis on “The Flintstones.”  Of the experience, Curtis said, “Barney Rubble had been a hero of mine for years.  To actually meet him… well, my life is complete.”  As a side note, rumor is that while on the set, he banged both Betty & Wilma.

This hit, lamentably, goes to: John’s Jews.  And why lamentably?  Because John’s whole idea was to pick a list made up entirely of Jews because he never gets a hit.  He was trying to save them ala Oscar Schindler.  Well, John, I’ve read about Oscar Schindler.  I’ve seen a movie about Oscar Schindler.  You, sir, are no Oscar Schindler!

Happy pooling and it’s EXACTLY one month until draft day!

SPMI

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