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Jackie Cooper, known by old people from the “Our Gang” comedy films, known by the rest of us as Superman’s boss, died at the spry age of 88.

Cooper was nom minted for an Oscar for… no, not Superman 4: The Quest for Peace, but for his role in Skippy in 1931.  He was 9 years old and he didn’t win because what’s a nine-year-old gonna do with an Oscar besides try to flush it down the toilet.

His attorney Roger Licht told Reuters “He just kinda died of old age.  He wore out.”

Reach for comment in her hospital bed while fluid was being drained from her lungs, Zsa Zsa Gabor reacted to this by sayin “You pussy!  I’m 94, been in the hospital as often as I’ve been to the bathroom this year, if they don’t drain my lungs I’m gonna die… And I STILL want more kids!”

In 1986, Cooper appeared on the TV show “Sledge Hammer!”  My brother and I were the only ones inAmericato see this.

This hit goes to: Imaginary Steve!  Yes, he now has 40 imaginary points (only 10 imaginary points less than Carol’s one hit, bin Laden, who thankfully remains dead).

At this rate, I-Steve only needs 6 more hits to take the lead.  Yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

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