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"Now, let me explain to you why my brother is such a prick."

Roger Williams, the pianist known for easy-listening hits such as “Autumn Leaves,” and playing for nine US presidents, died at the spry age of 87.

Williams was known as “Pianist to the Presidents,” and his fan club was lead by Monica Lewinski.

Despite is long career of successes, Williams felt that he could never get out from under the shadow of his younger brother.

Although he didn’t discuss John in public too often, the few snippets that he did say painted a prolific portrait of brotherly jealousy.  “No matter what he did, it worked out for him, lucky bastard,” Williams noted once in a drunken rant to Ronald Reagan.  “He hated Spielberg so much, that when he was asked for a score to a shark movie, he just sent him a tape of him tuning his cello!  Well, five Oscars later and John-Boy can just blow me!”

“I always loved it when he scored a bomb!” he once noted to the AP.  “It didn’t happen too often, but when it did, you can bet I was on the phone with him.  When ‘Seven Years inTibet’ came out, I couldn’t contain my excitement.  And ‘Hook,’ that was great!”

These small consolations fell flat when he remembered that his brother answered his calls on a solid gold phone while nestled up in a giant pile of money.

This hit goes to our own 20-point-hit wonder: “Imaginary” Steve!  Yes, with his track-record, he needs 8 more people to die to put him in an imaginary tie with the leader!

Happy pooling,


PS: Draft day is a mere four weeks away!

PPS: 27 days away to be exact!



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