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‘Ya ever notice how people die?  They just live and live and live until they die.  What’s up with that?

I knew this one guy, who wouldn’t die.  People expected him to die.  Some people thought he had died.  But he didn’t die.  Until

And what's the deal with this guy? Why did it take him so long to die?

he did.

Andy Rooney, owner of the most questionable career in journalism this side of Glen Beck, died at the spry age of 92.  What’s up with that?

And coffins.  What’s they’re deal?  You spend thousands of dollars on a box that you bury.  I made a time capsule out of an oatmeal box as a kid and did just fine thank you.  It was one of those cylindrical Quaker Oats boxes.  Held up just fine.  Can’t I spend my eternity in an industrial sized Quaker Oats box?  I didn’t think so.

And the satin lining: do we really need this much comfort when we’re dead?  How come my recliner isn’t satin lined?  Maybe I want to sample a little bit of the afterlife while watching the Bears on any given Sunday.

And funerals.  Do they really have to be so depressing?  Can’t we throw in a light show or something.  You k now, pep things up a bit.

The funeral dirge is my favorite.  Why do they have to call it a “funeral” dirge.  Is there any other kind of dirge?  Can’t we just say “dirge?”  I mean, was there a surge of popularity of Disco Dirges in the 70s?  I don’t think so.

And what’s with mourners?  Crying all the time.  Cheer up, will ya.  You act like someone just… oh, yeah.  Strike that one.

And surprise, surprise, this hit goes to the Ghoul Pool Administrator.  What’s the deal with that guy?  He never wins.  He only came close once.  Personally, I think he extended this thing for another week just for this hit.  Selfish, greedy bastard.

Happy Pooling


PS: And the draft.  It’s only nine hours and ten minuets away.  What’s the deal with that?

PPS: Sports figures.  Why do they keep dying?  Especially this year.



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