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Author of “God is Not Great” Christopher Hitchens died at the spry age of 62.  Ghoul Pool Sources reveal that the cause of death was officially marked as “God’s Rebuttal.”

Hitchens, whose main job was pissing people off, decried all religions as a tool for totalitarian regimes.  He spent most of his career debating people like Tony Blair and Catholic Cardinals and kept an open invitation to all religious leaders for a debate.

But Hitchens true impact on this world was his drinking.  He said that his daily intake of alcohol was enough “to kill or stun the average mule.”  He called Jonnie Walker Black the “breakfast of champions” and exhorted his audience to “accept no substitute.”

You’d think I’d like this guy, but then he goes out and jumps ugly on Mother Theresa.  Apparently, feeding the poor is political opportunism.  Truth is, he just held a grudge against her ever since she eviscerated him in that famous arm-wrestling match.

So, he apparently is in a room in hell where, like Tantalus, is made to stand in a pool of scotch up to his chin for all time and each time he lowers his head to drink, the Scotch will lower.  Or maybe they’ll just put him in the Michael Bay Room.  …yeah, that would be much worse.

This hit goes to: Sister Mary Sheila!  Yes, she is now tied with Bean!  Isn’t it nice to see Bean’s name so far down the list?

Happy Pooling and Merry Christmas,

SPMI


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