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Jonathan Frid, who played vampire Barnabas Collins from the TV soap Dark Shadows was once quoted as saying “I’d rather die than see that punk-ass Johnny Depp play my role!”

Well, yesterday, he stood by his words at the spry age of 87.

"Bite me!"


Frid was killed by a young blond girl with a wooden stake.  His last words were reportedly, “But I’m not a real-”  There was much confusion on the scene when he didn’t turn into dust.  A blond Billy-Idol-wannabe was then overheard saying something snarky.

Frid was a Shakespearian actor (read: respectable actor) who was cast as a vampire on the failing “Dark Shadows” soap opera.  With the ratings slipping, the show’s executive producer, Dan Curtis, chose to inject an element of the supernatural.   Cuz, why not?

Barnabas Collins was supposed to only be on a few episodes.  But he soon became the face of the show as a it took a… well, a dark turn. 

Frid was never a fan of his stardom.  He preferred staying at home during the day and only venturing out late at night.  He was not a Christian man, abstained from any food with garlic and he was tyrannical about the condition of the wooden sets.  But other than that… he was not a vampire.

Frid was a stage actor trained at the Yale School of Drama and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London.  Both essential experiences for low-rent soap opera actors.

This hit goes to: Gianna!  This should come as no surprise because in high school, Gianna was voted “Most Likely to Draft Vampires in a Death Pool.”  Gianna now has forty points along with “Imaginary” Steve, her sister, Jami & Sister Mary Sheila.  All of whom have 40 points more than I do… Die, Nancy, DIE!!!!

Happy pooling,



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