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Star of “Webster” and All-Pro Linebacker Alex Karras died at the spry age of 77.

Karras had kidney disease, heart disease and stomach cancer.  In medical terms: He was fucked:

“Kidney disease, yeah, that’s rough.  But we can help with that.  All we have to-

Karras, shown here living the Sandusky Dream.

I’m sorry, what’s that?  You have heart disease too?  OK.  Well, we’ll be extra careful about-   What?  You also have stomach cancer?  Well, there’s a fine coffin shop down on 6th.  Mention my name and get 10% off.”

He was among the more than 3,500 former players who are suing the National Football League, damage caused by concussions and repeated hits to the head.  The NFL’s official statement about the case was, “Well, duh.  You’re playing football for a living you frickin’ idiot.”

He turned to acting in the 70s on shows like “M*A*S*H,” “The Odd Couple,” and “Love American Style,” (which we all know is the show that represents the entire sucktitude that was the 70s).

In 1974, he landed the role of Mongo in Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles,” a movie that is still funnier than all the “American Pie,” and Will Farrell movies combined.

Starting in 1983, he starred in the TV Show “Webster” with Emanuel Lewis for six seasons.  Let’s take a moment here: SIX SEASONS!  Where the mid-eighties such a complete cultural vacuum that they couldn’t find ONE show to put on in place of “Webster?”

God, I’d rather watch “Small Wonder!”  Oh yeah,… I said it.

This hit goes to the “Bad-Ass” Nikki!  Yes, Nikki popped her cherry with this one!  She’s on the board and well ahead of the Ghoul Pool Administrator!  Congratulations, Nikki!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

The Walls of Jerica: 190 (Duggar #20 – 100, Kim Jong Il – 40, John Demjanjuk – 10, Sun Myung Moon, 10, Herbert Lom – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus: – 160 (Smokin’ Joe Frazier – 40, Joe Paterno – 20, Gary Carter – 50, Steve Sabol – 40, Chris Economaki – 10)

Carol: 160 (Davy Jones – 40, Dick Clark – 20, George Lindsey – 20, Don Grady – 40, Andy Griffith – 20, Celeste Holm – 10, William Asher – 10)

Sister Mary Sheila:  140 (Christopher Hitchens – 40, Adam “MCA”Yauch – 60, Kathryn Joosten – 30,  Yitzhak Shamir – 10)

Mary: 130 (Dr. Mel Goldstein – 40, Whitney Houston – 60, Sherman Hemsley – 30)

Gianna:  110 (Bill Keane – 20, Jonathan Frid – 20, Robin Gibb – 40, Gregory Powell – 30)

Pirate Jen “Occupy the Casket”:  100 (Anne McCaffrey – 20, Carroll Shelby – 20, Abdel Baset al-Megrahi – 40, Ray Bradbury – 10, Phyllis Diller)

“Imaginary” Steve: – 80 (Alan Sues – 20, Earl Scruggs – 20, Rauf Denktas – 20, Art Modell – 20)

Jami “MORGAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” McFeeley: – 60 (Harry Morgan – 10, Etta James – 30, Maurice Sendak – 20)

“Bad-Ass” Nikki – 30 (Alax Karras – 30)

Schelle’y: – 30 (Chuck Colson – 20, Hellen Gurley Brown – 10)

Ann B. Davis: – 20 (Mike Wallace – 10, Ann Rutherford – 10)

Sean P. McFeeley I, Your Beloved Ghoul Pool Administrator: 20 (Neil Armstrong – 20)

Nathaniel – 10 (Ernest Borgnine – 10)

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