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Larry Hagman, who played the kind & generous J. R. Ewing on the TV Show “Dallas,” died at the spry age of 81.

Hagman was found shot to death by his sister-in-law.  She was carrying his child and he threatened to frame her as a prostitute unless she left town.

Aw, look, he wears a cowboy-hat all the time… what a douche-bag.

Seeing as he lived in Texas, why wouldn’t you leave?  Texas? The state makes me wish I could find an accurate spelling for the violent regurgitation it conjures up.

In real life, Hagman was nothing like the gregarious character that he is known for playing.  In real life, he was a mean bastard who only cared about money.  He worked with corrupt local cops to issue trumped up arrest warrants on anyone who got in his way.  He once mortgaged his family ranch, enraging & dividing his family further.

Once, Hagman thought that his younger brother had been shot.  But that just turned out to be a bad dream.  A really, really bad dream.

You would think that he would have learned something from his character on TV, who donated his kidney to an orphan, gave his wife nightly foot massages and let Kato Kaelin stay in his pool house.

This hit goes to: my lovely wife Jami!  She drafted Hagman in the 19th round with that special sparkle in her eye and now becomes our new Ghoul Pool leader!  Suck on that, Babysitter!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Gainna – 10 – (Lucielle Bliss – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

Babysitter – 10 (Clive Dunn – 10)

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