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Former baseball player and complete nobody, Ford Parker “Moon” Mullen died at the spry age of 96.

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Have you seen this man?
Of course you haven’t! Nobody has seen this guy!

Major props to Joanne for digging out this guy before he got buried. 

This guy played one year of major league baseball in Philadelphia. And he apparently played in an alternate dimension where the Philadelphia  Phillies were known as the Philadelphia “Blue Jays.”  What the fuck?

Guy bats .267, goes to war, then spends the rest of his major league career in the minor leagues.  He retired from baseball and became a high school coach. 

Mullen’s life had no action.  He had to wait around like everyone else. He couldn’t even get decent food – when he ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, he got egg noodles and ketchup. He was an average nobody. He got to live his life like a schnook. 

Joanne: where the fuck did you find this guy?  My God in heaven.  This guy is a complete blip who lived in Oregon, or Washington or… well, one of those places with the sparkly vampires.

I know this is only ten points.  But it is a well earned ten points.

I mean, he didn’t even have cancer or anything.  So, it’s not like you Googled “Baseball cancer” and found his name 30 pages in.

But with this hit Joanne now has 50 points.  She has become part to the line of people waiting to take down the New Dick in Town.  That’s got a ring to it: Take Down the New Dick in Town.

Babysitter holds at 20 points, unabated.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

The New Dick in Town – 80 – (Jack Klugman – 10, Mindy McCready – 70)

Dawn-n-Mike – 60 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10, Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30)

Joanne – 50 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20, C. Everett Koop – 10, Moon Mullen – 10)

Gianna – 50 – (Lucille Bliss – 10, Bonnie Franklin – 40)

Tailgating with Jesus – 50 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20)

The Girl on Fire – 30 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20)

Team Sushi – 20 – (Conrad Bain – 20)

Babysitter – 20 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10)

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 10 – (Patty Andrews – 10)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

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