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Communist whack-job and Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, died from… I’m assuming he drowned in crude oil or some shit… at the spry age of 58.

Sure, he was President of Venezuela, socialized their oil industry, reeked all sorts of havoc both inside and outside of his country… But he also made a beret for his parrot!

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His bird wore a red beret. The kind you’d find in a thrift shop.

His hero was Simon Bolivar.  Hugo got himself a parrot and named him Simon Bolivar.  He then had a red beret made for his parrot to wear every day.  Prince once saw the bird and thought, “There’s a song in there somewhere…”

Hugo also had his own TV show.  Not some zany sitcom where a beautiful young woman ends up living in the same house or anything.  No, this was him.  Sitting in front of a camera, talking about whatever the hell he wants.  He even went on a diatribe about how capitalism killed life on Mars.  So… funnier than a zany sitcom where a beautiful young woman ends up living in the same house.

Hugo LOVED to blame America for shit too.  According to him, the US possesses an “earthquake weapon” that set off the catastrophic quake in Haiti that killed 20,000 innocent people.  And that we can also create “weather anomalies to cause floods, droughts, and hurricanes.”  Suddenly, we’re Sean Connery in The Avengers (the crappy 1998 one, not the super-awesome 2013 one).

This hit goes to…. Dawn-n-Mike (but mostly Mike)!  Yes they picked the cancer-ridden leader the day after the draft!  (they ran out of picks on draft night)  Hey guys, way to take advantage of everyone else’s complete incompetence!

But wait, there’s more!  They took down The New Dick In Town!  Yes, the hefty 50 points not only breaks them into triple-digits, but it is more than ample enough to overtake TNDIT!  Pop the Champagne!  Go out and get some fireworks!  The party starts now!…. actually, I’m kinda tired… can we do it in July?

Babysitter holds at 20, unabated.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI
 Dawn-n-Mike – 110 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10, Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30, Hugo Chavez – 50)

The New Dick in Town – 80 – (Jack Klugman – 10, Mindy McCready – 70)

Joanne – 50 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20, C. Everett Koop – 10, Moon Mullen – 10)

Gianna – 50 – (Lucille Bliss – 10, Bonnie Franklin – 40)

Tailgating with Jesus – 50 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20)

The Girl on Fire – 30 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20)

Team Sushi – 20 – (Conrad Bain – 20)

Babysitter – 20 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10)

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 10 – (Patty Andrews – 10)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

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