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Robin William’s son, Jonathan Winters, died at the spry age of 87.

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If you don’t think that this man was funny, you are a fucking moron.

“I remember him coming out of his egg like it was yesterday,” A tearful Williams shared at a press conference before doing a line of coke and telling penis jokes for an hour.  You know how that guy is, once he gets going….

Winters’ estranged mother, Pam Dawber, could not be reached for comment because, frankly, no one has heard from her since 1989.  Apparently, the filming of “Do You Know the Muffin Man,” really took its toll on her.

Winters did live long enough to finish his work on the much anticipated Smurfs 2.  Director Martin Scorsese said, “and it’s a good thing too because nobody could embody, nobody could become Papa Smurfthe wayWintersdid.Hehadacertainjenesaisquoi thatyoujustcouldn’tfidineveryactor …”  the rest could not be understood because Scorsese was drinking an espresso at the time and the rest of his tribute was lost to rapidity.

This hit goes to: The New Dick in Town!  Yes, he continues to earn his title because he stole Winters from Jami!  Again!  Man, what a dick.  Clearly, his strategy of raiding other people’s lists continues to piss people off.  So… good luck with that.

When reached for comment, Jami’s said <<enter silent, cold glare here>>.  Uh-oh.

With this hit, NDIT breaks into the world of triple digits and is only behind the leaders by 20 points.  But don’t worry, Nancy Reagan will die and that’ll give me… OK, I need more than Nancy over here.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Dawn-n-Mike – 120 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10, Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30, Hugo Chavez – 50, Frank Thornton – 10)

The New Dick in Town – 100 – (Jack Klugman – 10, Mindy McCready – 70, Jonathan Winters – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus – 70 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20, Gus Triandos – 20)

Joanne – 60 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20, C. Everett Koop – 10, Moon Mullen – 10, Virgil Trucks – 10)

Jami – 50 – (Larry Hagman – 20, Annette Funicello – 30)

The Girl on Fire – 50 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20, Milo O’Shea – 20)

Team Sushi – 50 – (Conrad Bain – 20, Roger Ebert – 30)

Gianna – 50 – (Lucille Bliss – 10, Bonnie Franklin – 40)

Babysitter – 40 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10, Margaret Thatcher – 20)

Council of Geeks – 40 (Richard Griffiths – 40)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 10 – (Patty Andrews – 10)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

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