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M-m-m-m-Malcolm Scott Carpenter, Mercury astronaut and… aquanaut(?) died at the spry age of 88.

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Scott Carpenter, well he just thought that the 50s were the best gosh-darn decade in this great country’s great gosh-darn history!

Carpenter was one of two living Mercury astronauts.  Which means that John Glen gets all the booty from the famous Mercury Seven Tontine.  The treasure is said to be buried in Southern California under a big “W.”

In an unrelated story, hundreds of California Wal-Marts report that their signs have been dug up by frantic mobs in variously wacky fashions.

Carpenter kinda got the shaft in that movie, story-wise that is.  He was just the golly-gee- wilikers sidekick who lived in John Glen’s golly-gee-wilikers shadow.

He was the first man to eat solid food in space.  He ate an awful “energy snack” thing that he described as “clay with just a hint of chalk.”  Today, these are sold as Clif Bars.

Carpenter only went into space once because soon after, he broke his arm in a car accident (the cause was curiously listed on the police report as “a screwed pooch.”)

So, he did the next best thing.  He became an Aquanaut!  He actually formed The Aquanauts, an Aqua Man tribute band.  They would play water themed songs at benefits to raise money to produce an Aqua Man movie.  At the time of his death, The Aquanauts had raised $762.35.

This hit goes to: Joanne!  She catapults from 100 to 120 (OK, it was a small catapult… technically, it was a trebuchet.)  She happily joins the At-Least-We-Have-As-Many-Points-As-The-New-Dick-In-Town Club!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS:  We have found a sitter for Ryan for draft night!  She will be having a sleep over at a friend’s house!  Let the bacchanalia begin!

PPS: Did anyone besides my wife catch the “Do the Right Thing” joke?

Current Standings:

Dawn-n-Mike – 170 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10,Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30, Hugo Chavez – 50, Frank Thornton – 10 – George Jones – 20, Tompall Glaser – 30)

Babysitter – 140 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10, Margaret Thatcher – 20, Chi Cheng – 60, Pat Summerall – 20, Douglas Englebart – 20)

The New Dick in Town – 120 – (Jack Klugman – 10, Mindy McCready – 70, Jonathan Winters – 20, Jeanne Cooper – 20)

“Imaginary” Steve – 100 (Al Neuharth – 20, Ken Venturi – 20, Art Donovan – 20, Elmore Leonard – 20, Julie Harris – 20)

Joanne – 100 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20, C. Everett Koop – 10, Moon Mullen – 10, Virgil Trucks – 10, Dr. Joyce Brothers – 20, Eydie Gorme‏

– 20)

Gianna – 100 – (Lucille Bliss – 10, Bonnie Franklin – 40, E. L. Konigsburg – 20, Deanna Durbin – 10, Margaret Pellegrini – 20)

Team Sushi – 90 – (Conrad Bain – 20, Roger Ebert – 30, Deacon Jones – 30, Helen Thomas – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus – 70 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20, Gus Triandos – 20)

Occupy the Casket – 50 (Phil Chevron – 50)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 50 – (Patty Andrews – 10, Dick Trickle – 30, Jean Stapleton – 10)

Council of Geeks – 50 (Richard Griffiths – 40, Ray Harryhausen – 10)

Jami – 50 – (Larry Hagman – 20, Annette Funicello – 30)

The Girl on Fire – 50 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20, Milo O’Shea – 20)

Carol – 20 – (Stan Lynde – 20)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

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