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Harold’s Camping Trip

Harold Camping, Family Radio Network the preacher who predicted the end of the world multiple times (psst… he was wrong) died at the spry age of 92.

He apparently died of complications from a fall, his wife has stated that this came after a large swelling of his pride.

Harold_Camping

Camping, on October 12, 2011, making his “oops” face.

Camping predicted that the Rapture would take place on May 21, 2011.  But that didn’t work out so well.  God had Pilates that day.  

So, on May 23rd, Camping said that the world would end on October 21, 2011.  But… if he had checked with God, he would have known that Fridays are God’s weekly squash game with Moses.  And Moses runs him through the wringer.  There’s no way he could have had the energy for fire and brimstone after that.

If the movie Dogma has taught us anything, it’s that “any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire.  Raining down sulfur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to tennis.”

It was calculated that Family Stations Inc. spent more than $5 million on billboard advertising in 2011, the year the apocalypse was predicted to occur.  They tried to recoup their losses by selling “I Survived the Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy shirt” merchandise on Amazon, but it never took off.

This hit goes to: Pirate!  Occupy the Casket has come up to a tie for first with me!  But as I told Joanne, I will squash all of you like little bugs, so much so that you will want to put yourselves on next year’s list!  (maniacal laugh… maniacal laugh…)

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

Joanne: 30 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20)

SPMI: 30 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10)

Gianna 20 (Tom Laughlin – 20)

Babysitter: 10 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 10 (Eleanor Parker – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House ) – 10 (Frederick Sanger – 10)

“Imaginary” Steve: 10 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10)

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