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Ralph Wilson, whose team comedically lost four Super Bowls died at the spry age of 95.  He was three years older than Betty White.

Wilson founded the Buffalo Bills in 1960.  His plans to call his team the Wings was stopped in it’s tracks by a Detroit hockey team.

He also served on the committee that created the Super Bowl.  The Bills went on to win a triumphant zero Super Bowls in their history.  Paging an O. Henry, Mr. O. Henry.  (Yeah, I’ve read books.)

The Bills made the playoffs only once in their first decade in the N.F.L., and in the early 90s they pulled off a comedic goldmine when they lost the Super Bowl not once, not twice, not thrice, but… what’s the “-ice” word for four?… foice in a row.  They lost so many consecutive Super Bowls that I had to invent a word to describe it.

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Wilson, shown here coming in second for an ugliest blazer contest. Poor bastard couldn’t even win that.

The Buffalo Bills are truly the Susan Lucci of the gridiron.

Although they did have one of football’s greatest running backs: O. J. Simpson.   Yes, before he was jumping over seats in airports and killin’ wives, he was a Buffalo Bill.  “He would murder the defense every time,” said Simpson’s former coach…. oh…. we’ll call him… Coachy McCoacherson.

All his life, Wilson dreamed of hiring a murderer and never winning the Super Bowl.  Like all young Americans.  And he was lucky enough to accomplish both.

This hit goes to the Beaner!  Wilson will bring the volleyball to the tailgating party!  Bean breaks his tie with Joanne as he moves to 60 points.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Starving Writer – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna 80 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20)

Jami: 80 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60)

Tailgating with Jesus – 60 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20 )

“Imaginary” Steve: 30 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

The Girl on Fire – 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)

 

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