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Emmanuel III Delly  was the Patriarch Emeritus of Babylon of the Chaldeans and Primate of the Chaldean Catholic Church, an Eastern Catholic sui juris Particular church of the Catholic Church and, of course, a Cardinal.

All this simply illustrates how little any of us know about the Catholic hierarchy.   All I got out of that was that he was a primate.  He was a monkey for God.

Being a monkey-priest came with it’s good and it’s bad.  I mean, come Easter time, he could climb the rafters of the church and swing the incense thurible with his prehensile tail.  It was a huge hit with the parishioners and the kids just loved it.  

But then, when hearing confessions, he’d get all claustrophobic and go all Samsonite on the poor sap who was spilling his guts out.

This was a guy who broke all the rules.  He doesn’t have three middle names… his middle name is three! … or, it was three.

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Prehensile tail, extra set of hands, this guy had it all!

But, that’s how monkey-priests roll.  You don’t know what they’re gonna do next.  When you went up for communion, you never knew if he was going to give you a host, or a thin banana slice.

Sometimes, he would pick lice off the altar boys and eat it during the mass.  The alter boys all agreed that this was much better than what the other priest did to them.

Things got a little dicey for Delly in 1987 when the US government taught him sign language and began running tests on him.  The tests turned out to be inhumane and he had no one to turn to.  Luckily, a young plucky upstart named Matthew Broderick was able to get him out of danger, all to the dulcet tones of Peter Gabriel’s “Shock the Monkey.”  This story went on to made into the movie “Free Willy.”

This hit goes to: Imaginary Steve!  His theme of Cardinal Sin brings him this third hit.  A holy trinity of deaths, you might say.  He is now a mere 110 points behind the leader.

I don’t think he has a prayer.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 160 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60, Peaches Geldof – 80)

Starving Writer – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna 80 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20, Marc Platt – 0)

Tailgating with Jesus – 60 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10)

“Imaginary” Steve: 50 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20, Emmanuel III Delly – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Babysitter: 40 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20, Mickey Rooney – 10 )

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

Dora the Explorer: 20 (Jeremiah Denton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)

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