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Cardinal Roberto Tucci, died at the spry age of 93.

Cardinal Tucci was the Cardinal Priest of the Church of San Ignazio di Loyola a Campo Marzio.  Sheesh.  I just went to St. Joe’s.

He entered the Society of Jesus in 1936 when the hazing was just wearing a propeller beanie and a few whacks with a wooden paddle.  Nowadays, you have to do ten shots of Jager, throw darts at your fellow naked pledges and do unspeakable acts to seminary students.  Man, how times have changed…

The Tuch-meister (which was his pledge-name) was ordained on 24 August 1950. After his ordination he taught as a faculty member at the Theological Faculty of “San Luigi” in Naples.  Why they won’t let Luigi in remains a mystery to this day.

He later worked a member of the preparatory commission on lay apostolate of the Second Vatican Council.  If you understood that sentence, you are way too into Catholicism.

He founded the journal Digest religioso.  This was later renamed Rassegna di Teologia because… duh.

He also worked for Vatican Radio and was its director general.  He quit this post in 1985 because with “Mexican Radio” being

Cardinal Tucci... checking out another Cardinal's Tucci.

Cardinal Tucci… checking out another Cardinal’s Tucci.

released two years prior, Vatican Radio soon became obsolete.

Cardinal Tucci was for many years a scheduler of papal trips.  In other words: the Papal Travel Agent.  “Listen, if you expect the Pope to pay rack rate, you better at least throw in  free popemobile parking….        no?… you realize he can hit your hotel with a swarm of locusts, right?  One prayer, that’s all it takes…         …much better… and throw in the mini bar too.  Popey likey the drinky.”

Now Pope Frank is gonna have to rely on the Pope-Line Negotiator.

Stanley Tucci was unavailable for comment.

As I’m sure you guessed, it is “Imaginary” Steve who put another chink in the armor that is the College of Cardinals!

He is now tied with Babysitter, which means that he still sucks.

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 150 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90)

Tailgating with Jesus: 120 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20)

Jami: 120 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Gianna: 70 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70)

Nikki: 60 – (Stuart Scott – 60)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 50 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10)

Babysitter: 50 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30)

The Girl on Fire: 40 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Anne: 30 – ()

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Nora the Explorer: 20 – (James Best – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)


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