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Into every generation a slayer is born: one priest in all the world, a chosen one. He alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. He is: The Slayer.

Cardinal Giacomo Biffi was killed as he tried to save his parish in Sunnydale from The First Evil (don’t ask, it’s not a cool as it sounds) at the spry age of 87.

In 1997, Biffi rose to prominence when he took on The Master, who famously had fruit-punch mouth, which we believe he got on the set of “Animal House.”

Before that, he was just some punk who blew up his school gym.  And nobody cared about his antics back then.

He went on to battle such demons as Spike, who totally rocked and Angel, who’s was totally lame, his hair grew straight up

is that a stake in your pocket, or are you just happy to see... oh, it's just a stake in your pocket.

is that a stake in your pocket, or are you just happy to see… oh, it’s just a stake in your pocket.

and he had the personality of a table lamp.

He then created an international stir when he destroyed a US government secret project named Adam (for subtlety) which he claims he did because it was more lame than evil.

In 2001, he suddenly had a teenage sister (I know, “what the fuck?”  Right?) who was generally annoying and needed constant saving.

Really, the monsters that he fought were really more metaphors for his life struggles.

He died when Sunnydale fell into the hellmouth and he was eaten by an “uber” vampire in an uninspiring end that was preceded by a year that was more irritating than anything.

Many claim that he was selected as cardinal, or cardinalized, because of his witty dialogue and spunky slang.

This hit goes to: Imaginary Steve!  he is now tied for 5th place with Nikki!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 150 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90)

Jami: 140 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50, Dick Van Patten – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus: 120 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20)

Gianna: 90 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70, Vincent Bugliosi – 10)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 80 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10, Giovanni Canestri – 10, Giacomo Biffi “the Vampire Slayer” – 20)

Nikki: 80 – (Stuart Scott – 60, BB King – 20)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

The Girl on Fire: 60 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20, Anne Meara – 20)

Team Sushi: 50 – (Marion Barry – 30, Omar Sharif – 20)

Nora the Explorer: 50 – (James Best – 20, Ben E. King – 30)

Babysitter: 50 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Anne: 30 – (oops, I forgot who Anne had – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

Nathaniel: – 10 – (Christopher Lee – 10)

Erika: 10 – (Jayne Meadows – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

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