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He is smellin’ like the rose

that somebody gave him on

his tour bus deathbed

He is smellin’ like a hit

that addiction gave Jami

‘cause he’s dead and bloated!

Lead singer for Stone Temple Pilots, Scott Weiland, is dead and bloated at the spry age of 48.  Collectively the world wondered “How in hell’s High holy-shitsnacks did he live that long?”

Reports say that the cause of death is unknown (heroin) and that that breathing is the hardest thing to do (when you’re ODing on heroin).

The press asked his wife, and she says “it’s natural.  He felt that he’d come of age.”

I can’ts swallow what she’s thinkin’.  Some say he died from driving faster in his car while others said that his conversations kill.  

But we all know that he ran through his wicked garden, because that’s the place to find drugs.  But he’s dead.  So dead now.  Tour bus darkness shrouds him.  Can you see with your own eyes, how he now attracts the flies?

Stone Temple Pilots was an essential in the early 90’s flannel-wearin’-Gap-buyin’-Beavis-and-Butthead-watchin’-mainstream-yet-counterculture movement known as the “grunge” scene where it was a good bet that either he or Kurt Cobain would die by 1995.

Well, I guess Scott won that office pool.

If Weiland loved two things, they were cocaine and heroin.  He once lived in a hotel where he “shot drugs” with Courtney Love for two months.

(NOTE

Weiland.jpg

Those discs make your ears look fucking ridiculous.  You know that, right?  (NOTE:  It has been noted that this is NOT Scot Weiland.  Oh well.)

 When reached for comment, Love said, “He died?  Damn.  What a brilliant fucking career move.  I wish I’d thought of that first.”

Just this past June, Weiland claimed that he had not done drugs in 13 years.  But…

Once a heroine addict, always a heroin addict.

This hit goes to: Jami (as mentioned in the 5th line)!  Jami picked Weiland with her Golden Ghoul Pool Rule in mind: Once a heroine addict, always a heroin addict.

She now trails the leader (Which is me!  LEE KWANG SOO!  LEE KWANG SOO!  LEE KWANG SOO!) by 10 points.

But don’t worry, Someone will overtake me soon enough.

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.  

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 70- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70)

Jami: 60 – (Scott Weiland  -60)

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