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Wayne Rogers, who played Trapper John in the TV show M*A*S*H, died at the spry age of 82.

Trapper John and his closeted lover, Hawkeye Pierce faced war the way every man should: with Martinis.

At one point, Trapper reaches out as though he’s checking for rain and says, “Hmm, feels like it’s going to Martini.”  Heh heh.  I gotta remember that one.  And speaking of which… I got me a drink to make…

Rogers was born in Alabama and struggled with illiteracy all his life. (I’m making the assumption here that Alabamian = illiterate.  Not a far stretch, really.)

Rogers played a role in Odds Against Tomorrow which was nominated for a Golden Globe Award in 1960 as Best Film Promoting International Understanding.  I’m sorry… that’s a thing?  So, you just make a movie that says, “Hey, man, Albanians are A-OK.” and you can get a Golden Globe?  That’s just a fucked up award category.

Rogers was only on M*A*S*H for three years because he was a whiny little

Wayne Rogers.jpg

Now that’s how you fight the commies: three olives at a time!

bitch about Hawkeye getting more attention.  

When the writers took the liberty of making Hawkeye a thoracic surgeon in the episode “Dear Dad” even though Trapper was the unit’s only thoracic surgeon in the movie and the novel (both of which suck in comparison to the show), Rogers felt Trapper was stripped of his credentials.

Boo-friggin’-hoo.  My fake doctor isn’t the fake big man on fake campus.  Get over it, Wayne.

Apparently he didn’t.  Nor did he have the balls to do the “Trapper John’s plane … was shot down … over the Sea of Japan. It spun in … there were no survivors,” send-off.  Nooo… he wanted a crappy spin-off where he lived in a camper in a hospital parking lot.

In his later years, he continued in TV comedy as a regular panel member on the Fox News Channel stock investment television program Cashin’ In.  Yeah, that’s hard journalism.  “Feels like the market is gonna Martini.”

This hit goes to: The Girl on Fire!  Mary gets on the board with 20 points.  (Bean knows how you feel.)

Nancy Reagan, somehow, still continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 70- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70)

Jami: 60 – (Scott Weiland  -60)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 40 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

The Girl on Fire: 20 (Wayne Rogers – 20)

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