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Tennis writer and Imus contributor, Bud Collins, died at the spry age of 86.

Collins was known for his love of the sport and his lighthearted, cheerful demeanor on air.  In summation, Bud Collins was awesome.  He was smart, funny as hell and he made Tennis seem interesting.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for tennis players.  It is the single most exhausting game one can play.  

But, come on: baseball is more exciting.

At Brandeis University, Collins coached a young, impressionable Abbie Hoffman in tennis. Am now picturing Hoffman with a sweater tied around his waist asking Digby and Muffy to join him and Tinsley for a spot of mixed doubles.

Bud wrote many books on tennis, none of which I have or ever will read, including The Bud Collins History of Tennis: An Authoritative Encyclopedia and Record Book, which is apparently the history of tennis.  It’s like the The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire of

Bud-Collins-250x322

Collins was known for his tennis knowledge… not his fashion knowledge.

tennis.

He was especially known for his stories about Wimbledon.  Like the time he almost convinced a very drunk Chris Evert to have a three-way with him and Martina Navratilova.  Man, that would have been a rough morning to wake up to.

But in 2006, Collins became the ultimate in cool when he cameoed in the spelling bee episode of “Psych.”  “The word is…. banana.”

John McEnroe is reportedly arguing with the doctor that called the death, saying “THAT EKG WAS INSIDE THE LINE!  ARE YOU BLIND?!”

This hit goes to: our resident tennis star and daughter of a mortician, Cindy!  This is her second hit this year and it puts her in the At-least-I-have-as-many-points-as-Bean Club!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, still continues to live… or does she?

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 100 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 80- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10)

Joanne: 60 (Joey Feek – 60)

The Girl on Fire: 60 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10)

Harmony: 30 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Marvin Minsky – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

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