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Writer and Donut entrepreneur, Lois Duncan, died at the spry age of 82.

Duncan wrote young adult fiction before it was a genre.  Her books included “Stranger With My Face,” “Down a Dark Hall” and “Killing Mr. Griffin.”

Though her books had their share of violence, Ms. Duncan said she was “utterly horrified” when she saw the film adaptation of “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” in 1997.  Duhhh… it’s called a horror movie.  So: job well done.

See, she didn’t know that it was a slasher film until she actually saw the film in the theater.  “The first time I knew it was a slasher movie was when I bought my popcorn and bought my ticket and excitedly walked into the theater.”

I know what you’re thinking: she had to buy a ticket?  She’s the goddamn author!  Shouldn’t she be at the Hollywood premiere?  What kind of stingy assholes do they have

Duncan.jpg

Wait, first the daughter now this?

down there at Mandalay Entertainment?

Suspiciously, her husband, Don Arquette, is not disclosing the cause of death.  This is obviously because she died of being hooked in the chest five times!

See, he knew what she did last Summer:  she Twisted again.

First he divorces Courtney Cox, now this.  In a statement, Courtney Cox said, “Phew!”

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 100 – (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 90 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 80 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

Nathaniel: 10 (Alan Young – 10)

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