Skip navigation


Former all-star catcher for the Philadelphia Phillies, Darren Daulton, died at the spry age of 55.

Daulton had battled brain cancer since 2013. He had two tumors removed in 2013, but was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer that also killed his former teammate Tug McGraw and former coach John Vukovich.  

So…. contagious?  Are we looking at some kind of Outbreak situation?  Are we all gonna die from brain cancer because we are only separated by six degrees?

The long-haired Daulton, nicknamed “Dutch,” was beloved by Phillies fans and respected by teammates despite his insistence that everyone split the check.

After retiring from baseball, his life took a turn.

He was arrested for a DUI, then his license was suspended the next time for refusing to take the breathalyzer test.  He was also arrested for battery against his wife.

Daulton

Daulton was alway business in the front and party in the back.

He divorced and married professional golfer Amanda Dick because, “I always wanted a wife with a dirty name.”

But that’s not all: he also wrote a book about numerology and the occult!  If They Only Knew by Darren Daulton is available on Amazon for $16.50 on paperback or $4.99 for your Kindle.

“Daulton delves into issues of ascension, such as dimensions and levels of consciousness, the Mayan Calendar and December 21, 2012, creating one’s own reality and a lot more.”

What the fuck, dude?  Just catch the damned ball and throw it back to the pitcher.  Don’t tell me about picking the next pitch by utilizing the hidden powers of the fibonacci sequence.  

Plus, why didn’t you just create your own reality where you didn’t have brain cancer?

This hit goes to: ME!  Yes!  I take the lead in the Ghoul Pool!  Lee Kwang Soo!  Lee Kwang Soo!  Lee Kwang Soo!

Of course, this means that Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will soon be proven to be alive to take the lead away.  But for now: the most reliable sources are still saying he’s dead.  And he hasn’t picked up his Subway order form eight months ago, so….

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: