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Category Archives: Fantasy

Meanwhile, in stately Wayne Manor, Adam West lies in state after dying at the spry age of 88.

West, along with Burt Ward, were the original Ambiguously Gay Duo in the campy 60’ TV show Batman.  (BIFF!!!  BAM!!! KA-POW!!!!)

The show was cancelled after three seasons because after a ratings slump, the show wasbam just too expensive.  It was the most expensive TV show on the air at the time.  Which today, is laughable.  I mean, the cast of Friends made more in one episode than it cost to make a whole season of Batman.

West always knew that the only real catwoman was Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt and Lee Meriwether.

He also questioned why Batman doesn’t dance any more and wondered if anyone remembered the Batusi.

west

West & Ward, shown here peaking.

But Batman was filmed at the height of free-love and it turned into a back-stage bat porno.  (Holy Bat-Pole, Batman!)

According to Burt Ward’s autobiography, Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights (available on Amazon for sixty bucks), they got more pussy than all three cat women combined.

As Ward actually put it, “Everyone wanted our Bat Sperm in every orifice.”

Now, this claim is only found in Ward’s self-published book.  So, there might not be spuriousness involved.

West himself was asked about it and his reply was that “Burt fell victim to making up stories to sell books.”

He then noted that Ward only possessed Robin Sperm and that Bat Sperm was 100%.  Pure.  West.

West was born in Walla Walla, Washington, which I bring up because saying Walla Walla is fun.  Plus, it explains why he smelled like a Walla Wallan.

This hit goes to: Josh!  He is now in a tie for 1st place with Wes!  Biff]

And I think it’s time to say what is clearly on everyone’s minds: Josh and Wes are dicks.  Comin’ in a rookies.  Gettin’ 5 or 6 hits.  140 points each.  Assholes.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)

The worst James Bond, Sir Roger Moore, died at the spry age of 89.

Moore did moore than just Bond.  he was in a shitload of things.  Few of them good.  

He did a TV show called “Ivanhoe” about gardening in Russia.  He was also in “The Alaskans” as Sneaker Palin, or was he Blanket Palin?… Tent Palin?  The show only lasted one season.  

He went on to do a season of “Maverick,” in a role that Sean Connery turned down.  He left because once Garner left, the show went to shit.  I have no reference point to tell if this is true.

From 1962 through 1969, Moore played Simon Templar in the show “The Saint.”  Now this was a decent show filled with cool capers and whatnot.  Lamentably, “The Saint” is not available for streaming, but it is available on DVD.  (For us old people who still have DVD players)

The international stardom that he got from “The Saint” propelled him to star along side Tony Curtis in the new show, “The Persuaders!”  The series, like soccer, was popular

Moore

Yeah, but everyone looks good in a tuxedo.

everywhere but the US.

Next, Moore was selected to take over for Sean Connery (the best Bond) in the James Bond series.

He brought a certain shitty wit to his Bond.  He had many one-liners that ran concurrent to the character created by Ian Fleming.  But, much in the same way that disco was popular, people ate that shit up.

He made 7 bond movies over 12 years, making him the longest Bond.  (Not longest in the penis sense because George Lazenby is hung like a horse.)

He started out OK with “Live and Let Die.”  Moved on to “The Man with the Golden Gun,” and “The Spy Who Loved Me.”  But then he did “Moonraker.”

Moonraker was inexcusable.

In 2004, Moore was voted ‘Best Bond’ in an Academy Awards poll.  The next year, they selected “Million Dollar Baby” as Best Picture.  So, picking the crappiest in the lot to win is what they often do.  (“Crash?”, “The Greatest Show on Earth?”, “Birdman?”)

Moore was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 2003 for “services to charity”.   Mostly for his work with UNICEF, a charity that teaches poor children in the 3rd world how to ride a unicycle.

No, not everyone believes that He was the worst Bond.  Some of us are wrong.  And one of those wrong people is Sir Jason Carifa, who requested some input on the passing of Sir Moore.  Seeing that his Bond knowledge is vastly superior to mine (with the exception of Moore being any good), I thought it best to include his input:

His first James Bond movie “Live and Let Die” was fantastic – My personal favorite. The following movies “The Man with the Golden Gun,” and “The Spy Who Loved Me,” were great.  

Moore Space

A gun?  In space?!??! Fucking NRA…

Then the Star Wars era came upon us and instead of making “For Your Eyes Only” they decided to make “Moonraker”.  Ok, so we put monkeys and people in space but for God sakes please don’t ever put James Bond is space with laser beams again.  The movie was actually decent up until they launched Moonraker 1.

Roger took a break from 007 and decided to prove to the audiences that cannonballs can run in the 1981 memorable epic summer blockbuster “The Cannonball Run” starring my pal Burt Reynolds.

In 1983 worlds collided. The greatest movie blockbusters of the year. TWO James Bond movies by TWO different actors: Roger Moore’s “Octopussy” and the immortal Sean Connery’s (He’s immortal because he drank from the cup in Indian Jones and the last crusade) “Never Say Never Again! “

Moore did his final James Bond movie at the age of 58 was “A View to a kill” . This was another personal favorite of mine. Excellent music, excellent villain. So, Daniel Craig, there is no reason to give up on the James Bond franchise you can make it 60.

Life after James Bond was quiet he had small roles in “Spice Girls” and “Boat Trip.”

Ok I admit I saw those films.

Roger Moore Trivia:

– When rehearsing for James Bond movies he would constantly blink his eyes when shooting the gun. He was not a fan of weapons. Let’s be honest you’re not shooting a 44 Magnum like Dirty Harry. You have handgun that can fit into a purse.

-He was ready to retire after “For your eyes only” so James Brolin actually did a screen test as James Bond in Octopussy.

-He was supposed to present the Oscar for best actor to Marlon Brando for The Godfather but someone by the name of “Martinsheen Littlefarter” or some shit like that came up, and we all know how that went.

-He never ordered or drank a martini in any of the James Bond movies.

-While filming “Live and Let die” Roger Moore and Jane Seymour had dysentery in Jamaica. Well that’s a shitty story……

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Their two his are Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka and Roger Moore.  Will they continue to cut a swath through 80s mediocrity?

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Josh: 120 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

Team Sushi: 50 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)

Pop singer, uber-hunk and public sex enthusiast, George Michael died of heart failure at the spry age of 53.  He was found dead in his bed when someone went to wake him up before they went-went.

See, last Christmas, he gave someone his heart.  This year, to save him from tears, his heart simply stopped.  So, he’s not gonna make that mistake again.

Born Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou (presumably in the back room of the Acropolis Diner) Michael was ½ of the duo known as Wham! In the 80s.  

[Before you crack any Andrew Ridgeley-is-a-has-been jokes, know that he retired from the spotlight and has amassed £10 million from sales and royalties of records.]

Wham! [If you don’t put in the exclamation point, you’re an asshole.] was known for “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” “Last Christmas,” and “Wham! Rap.”

Last Christmas, is currently number 16 in the UK singles chart.  It is the biggest selling

michael

George Mich— well, don’t need me to tell you.  I’m sure that you recognize dat ass.

single not to reach number one.  It never reached #1 because “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” took that spot.  Frickin’ starving Africans ruin everything.

George donated all of the royalties from “Last Christmas” to the Band-Aid charity.  

The world was shocked when Michael disclosed he was gay [Did I say “shocked?”  That might be wrong…] in 1998 after being arrested in a public toilet for engaging in a lewd act.  

The music video for the single that followed, “Outside,” featured a men’s bathroom transformed into a disco and policemen kissing.  It was soooo hot.

No word on what that lewd act was…. I’m thinking… pooping?

In 2006 and in 2008 was charged with possession of class A drugs, including crack cocaine.  (Class A meaning the good shit.  Hey, the man was rich, he’s not gonna buy class D drugs.)

In September 2010, Michael received an eight-week prison sentence following an incident in which he crashed his Range Rover into a shop in north London. He was just happy to have sex in a bathroom again.

My wife has always always been and always will be a huge George Michael fan.  I used to make fun of her mercilessly for loving such a pretty-boy, bubble-gum pop star.  I was wrong.  Over time I became more familiar with his lyrics and musical stylings and have since conceded that while I may not be a fan like my wife, I respect the genius in his work.  Yes, that is me admitting that I am wrong.  You only get to see this once every four hours, people.

Trump tweeted that George Michael’s Sports Machine was a tremendous show and that ESPN will never find such a bigly talent again.

Douche.

You know… all this reminds me of a song.  A song that goes a little something… like this…

 

Well I guess it would be nice

If they inter his body

I know not everybody

Has got a body like him

 

I guess he should have thought twice

Before he withered his heart away

With all the druggy games he played

And he got pneumonia too.

 

Oh but he needed some time off

From taking potions

Time to pick his heart up off the floor

Oh and when that crack goes down there

Without precaution

Well it takes a strong heart baby

To rebound from that and more

 

It’s the cause of death

It caused his death

It’s the cause of his death death

The cause of his death death death

 

Baby,

His fans are asking him to stay

Saying please please please don’t go away

Say he’s giving them the blues

Maybe

They need to realize he’s dead

Been dead since noon yesterday

And coming back from that is against all rules.

 

Before this obit

Went into Motion

Before his heart gave out the day before

Oh oh Jami might reconsider

Stick to her devotion

Instead she got a hit that gives her 50 points more

 

Yes you gotta have death..

Mmm, you gotta have death

‘Cause you gotta have death, death, death

You gotta hav death-a-death-a-death

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 90 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 60 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

Josh: 40 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 30 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

R2D2 beeped his last beep this weekend when diminutive actor Kenny Baker died at the spry age of 81.

Baker took the job of sitting in an 80 pound tin can in the middle of the Tunisian desert in 100 degree heat just to entertain us all as R2D2: the droid with a plan.

See, all of Star Wars goes according to R2’s plans.  Once he get the schematics for the Death Star loaded into him, he’s like, “Awright, let’s get this shit done!”

He commandeers an escape pod to get to the home planet of Obi Wan Kenobi and despite imprisonment by Jawas and a family of moisture farmers, he manages to trick some dumb kid (who just wanted to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters) into taking off his restraining bolt so that he could be on his merry way to Obi Wan…

My point is: that little fucker knew what the hell he was doing.

Because he stood at a commanding 3’ 8” tall (that would have made him ½ of a Darth

Baker

The head of Kenny Baker will be on display at the National Gallery in London.

Vader), he was an ideal candidate to sit in the tin can.

Baker initially turned down the roll of R2 saying, “I don’t want to be stuck in a robot, what for, for goodness sake.”  Because he was the only person who could fit inside the R2 unit and manipulate it, he eventually relented and later said that if he were to do it again, he would have done it for free.

I know what you’re thinking: why not make the robot more… robotic?  Because this was 1976, jackass.  The most recent movie to use robotics in a big way was “Jaws.”  And that damn shark never worked.  So installing remote servos and all that shit was out of the question, practically and technologically.  

Now stop asking stupid-ass questions.

Cause of death was listed as a direct hit from an ion blaster that disabled Baker, rendering him powerless.  CCTV revealed that Jawas were in the area at the time, but Scotland Yard is not commenting on the possibility of a Jawa scavenging.

This hit goes to: Nathaniel!  (To which we all sigh a collective “duh.”)  Nathaniel claws his way up from last place with 10 points, all the way to last place with 30 points!

The force: not so strong with this one.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 100 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

Nathaniel: 30 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20)

Voice actor and Mon Calamari, Erik Bauersfeld died at the spry age of 93.

Bauersfeld will always be remembered for three words that he spoke in “Return of the Jedi,” as Admiral Ackbar:  It’s a trap!

trap

Obviously a Thalidomide baby, Bauersfeld fish-like deformities were always a source of pain in his life.

 

He said about creating the voice of Ackbar, “I went over, he showed me the picture of Admiral Ackbar, and I did it,” Bauersfeld said. “I saw the face, and I knew what he must sound like.” The whole Ackbar role took him less than an hour to record.  He added, “It’s a snap!”

When he completed work on the film, he stayed in character and yelled “It’s a wrap!”

Bauersfeld  was quite the foodie and he was very picky about what he ate and got very angry if you didn’t know what you were talking about.  In a 2001 interview, he told the story of his trip to a diner where the waitress served his drink saying, “Here’s your milkshake.”  He angrily snapped back at her, “It’s a Frappe!”

In 1985, he helped out the Goonies when they didn’t know what they had.  He told them, “It’s a map!”

The initial autopsy report says that Bauersfeld died from a venereal disease.  The report simply states: “It’s the clap!”

In his earlier years, Bauersfeld  was arrested and tried for assault and battery.  He testified on his own behalf which turned out to be a mistake.  When the prosecution asked him

Ruse

Early experiments to make his character more English ended up on the cutting-room floor.

about knocking his victim out with a baton, Bauersfeld corrected him, “It’s a sap!”

When asked about the Star Wars prequels, he said “It’s just crap!”

When asked what kind of smear his wife was getting, he said, “It’s a pap!”

I can do this all day…

This hit goes to: Jami!  When she looked at the 70 point space between her and second place, she said, “It’s a gap!”

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 100 – (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 70 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10)

Joanne: 70 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Marvin Minsky – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

Let this be a lesson to all who poo-poo me when I tell them to Google their lists!  We have a new leader!  On draft day!

Author of such classics as Gold Unicorn, Elephantasam, Red Unicorn, Volkhavaar, The Gods Are Thirsty, Metallic Love, and Black Unicorn (apparently, there was a whole unicorn series), Tanith Lee, (yes, Tanith) died at the spry age of 67!  

It was rumored that the English author was the daughter of actor Bernard Lee.  This was patently false.  She was the daughter of actor Bruce Lee.

Although her childhood was happy, she was the “traditional kid that got bullied.”  Probably because her parents named her fucking Tanith!

The first work that she sold was an essay called “Eustace” about a lonely, nerdy man who works as a hapless clerk at a broken-down old building and loan.

Most of Lee’s books were all about dragons and unicorns (as seen above) and shit like that.  But, she also wrote lesbian fiction under the name Esther Garber.  

Somehow, I doubt that’s as exciting as it sounds.  Probably a little less “Well, you are my sorority sisters and college is for experimenting,” and more “I’m in love with a woman and am being rejected by family and friends and there’s all this

Let's play the "Guess What Decade This Picture Was Taken" game!

Let’s play the “Guess What Decade This Picture Was Taken” game!

oppression and shit.”

See Tanith was all about the girl-power.  One of her overpowering themes was feminism.  Meaning that all the unicorns were saved… by a kick-ass woman!

This hit goes to:  who the fuck do you think?  I mean, all the unicorns were actually saved…. and by a kick-ass woman!  Of course it’s Pirate!  Occupy the Casket has occupied the lead because her picks have occupied so many caskets this year!

See, I don’t catch every hit.  So, I tell people to Google their more obscure picks.  No one does this (Nora, I’m looking at you).  Maybe this year you guys will learn a valuable lesson… oh, who the hell am I kidding…

Congrats to Pirate for winning the 2014-2015 Do Not Do Heroin Ghoul Pool!  (Unless people unearth better hits today.)  With 200 points, it’s an impressive win!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 200 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90, Maureen O’Hara – 10, Tanith Lee – 40)

The Girl on Fire: 180 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20, Anne Meara – 20, Denise McCluggage – 20, Bobbi Christina Brown – 80, Frank Gifford – 20)

Jami: 140 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50, Dick Van Patten – 20)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 130 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10, Giovanni Canestri – 10, Giacomo Biffi “the Vampire Slayer” – 20, William W. Baum – 20, László Paskai – 20, Cardinal Ján Chryzostom Korec – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus: 130 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20, Louise Suggs – 10)

Gianna: 110 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70, Vincent Bugliosi – 10, Dean Jones – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Marion Barry – 30, Omar Sharif – 20, Dave Benton – 50)

Nikki: 90 – (Stuart Scott – 60, BB King – 20, Yogi Berra – 10)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 70 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20, Alex Rocco – 30, Milton Delugg – 10)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Babysitter: 60 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30, Al Delvecchio – 10)

Nora the Explorer: 50 – (James Best – 20, Ben E. King – 30)

Mostly Mike: 40 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10, Dickie Moore – 20)

Anne: 30 – (oops, I forgot who Anne had – 30)

Nathaniel: – 10 – (Christopher Lee – 10)

Erika: 10 – (Jayne Meadows – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

Prolific fantasy author, Sir Terry Pratchett, was murdered by witches looking for his gallbladder for a potion at the spry age of 66.  (The City Watch is investigating the crime.)

Actually, Pratchett died of Alzheimer’s disease… man, ever have one of those days where you thought that you had Alzheimer’s?

Pratchett was best known for his Discworld series: 40 volumes about this wonderful, fantastical place where people listened to music and stored information on these little plastic discs of compact size.

Discworld novels included  The Colour of Magic, (which is fuchsia), Snuff (made into the Nicolas Cage movie “8MM”), Wyrd Sisters, (who played at Harry Potter’s prom) and Going Postal which is all about how to sort mail… that last one doesn’t seem very fantasy-like.

Pratchett died of Alzheimer’s disease… man, ever have one of those days where you thought that you had Alzheimer’s?

According to The Times, (I’m not sure which Times, New York, Los Angeles or “of our lives”) Pratchett was the top-selling

Nobody, under any circumstances, should wear a bowler hat.  Ever.

Nobody, under any circumstances, should wear a bowler hat. Ever.

and highest earning UK author in 1996.  No fantasy author since then has ever achieved this.  No, really, name one English fantasy author who was more successful?  You can’t can you.  If there was one he would be a household name.  (I say “he” because there’s no way a woman could ever be a successful fantasy author.  I’d be willing to be my Nimubus 2000 on that.)

Pratchett died of Alzheimer’s disease… man, ever have one of those days where you thought that you had Alzheimer’s?

The Discworld novels spawned conventions worldwide.  And if you thought that Star Trek conventions were bad…. man, these guys are somewhere between “The World of Warcraft” and LARPers.  But they’re not as bad as Bronies.  No one is as bad as Bronies… well, maybe those steampunk assholes.

Pratchett disliked the term “magical realism” which is “like a polite way of saying you write fantasy and is more acceptable to certain people … who, on the whole, do not care that much.”  Personally, I never heard the term before… so I really don’t give a shit.

Pratchett died of Alzheimer’s disease… man, ever have one of those days where you thought that you had Alzheimer’s?

Pratchett was knighted in 2008 for slaying the dragon that kept climbing onto Buckingham Palace while singing “Whiter Shade of Pale”.  (Really, the Queen herself has a touch of Alzheimer’s… man, ever have one of those days– Oooh!  Shiny!)

This hit goes to: Pirate’s Occupy the Casket!  Pirate gets on the board with 40 points!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 120 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50)

Tailgating with Jesus: 90 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Gianna: 70 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70)

Nikki: 60 – (Stuart Scott – 60)

Occupy the Casket: 40 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 40)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 40 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Babysitter: 20 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 20 – (Mario Cuomo – 20)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)