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Category Archives: hate

Former German Chancellor, Helmut Kohl (remember him?), died at the spy age of 87

He was Chancellor (which I guess is German for Prime Minister) from 1982-1998.  So he was running the joint when the Berlin wall came tumblin’ down.  When the wall came crumblin’ crumblin’.  When the wall came tumblin’ tumblin’ do-o-o-own.  (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,  yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah)

He started out as a good Nazi.  He was a 15-year-old member of the Hitler Youth when the war ended.

Hitler Youth is basically the Boy Scouts.  But they earn their badges for hate.  The “Punch a Dirty Jew” badge was pretty easy to get.  But the “Kill a Jew” badge… well that shit changed a kid.

In his defence, the Hitler Youth was mandatory.  So it wasn’t like he was sitting at home one day wondering if he could join a group that taught him how to hate while forming

Helmut

Kohl, shown here with Helmut-head.

bonds with other young pieces of shit to last a lifetime.  No, if you didn’t join, then the other kids would get to earn their “Beat the Shit Out of the Kid Who Didn’t Join the Hitler Youth” badge.

In 1947, he was a co-founder of the Junge Union, a youth organization that defines itself as a liberal, conservative, yet progressive organization.  Whatever the fuck that means.

This organization supported integration.   So it was very different from the Hitler Youth.  

In 1982, as a flock of seagulls ran so far away, E. T. taught us that even little ugly dudes can get sick and turn white too, and Bob Newhart bought an inn in a small town in Vermont, Helmut became Chancellor of West Germany (the good Germany).

He sat behind Reagan as the president said, “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”  To which Gorby famously replied: “I’m trying to, but have you ever had a Communist contractor show up on time?  Get off my back, little actor-man.”

In 1989, the longest standing symbol of Russian separatism was destroyed when the wall came tumblin’ down.  When the wall came crumblin’ crumblin’.  When the wall came tumblin’ tumblin’ down.

Today, a museum commemorating the wall and it’s awfulness is currently being planned along the US Mexico border.  But funding may be an issue.

After his reign, he became embroiled in a political party money scandal which was too boring to read about.  So I’m not really gonna go into it.

He the opened a chain of department stores in the US.

This hit goes to: Joanne!  She has her second hit and now stands at a whopping 30 points!

In other news, I may become a player in this pool because Russia is claiming to have killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.  If this is confirmed: 60 point for me!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Former dictator and human pineapple, Manuel Noriega died at the spry age of 83.

Noriega put the “Dick” in Dictator.  He ruled Panama in the 80s where he helped the US, helped Cuba and sold a lot of drugs.

He was known for brandishing a machete during speeches.

He lived a lavish, libertine life off drug-trade riches, complete with luxurious mansions, cocaine-fueled parties and voluminous collections of antique guns.

Most importantly, he liked to display his teddy bears dressed as paratroopers.  

pineapplepokopo

Noriega, shown here doing his impression of Dick Cheney.

Oh, how I Googled and Googled the hell out of “Manuel Noriega’s Teddy Bear Collection.”  Alas, not even a thumbnail could be found.

In 1989, George Bush #1 got tired of his antics and shenanigans, even if it did keep Crockett & Tubbs employed.

With operation “Just Cause” (a name Bush came up with at retreat called “Operation: Lame Names”) the US invaded Panama (because invading is what we do) and deposed Noriega (because deposing is what we also do.  Ain’t that right, Chile?).  

A separate operation to keep Noriega from escaping was deployed.  This was Operation “Nifty Package.”  No.  Really.  Bush got his money’s worth at that retreat.

Noriega ended up holed up in a mission set up by the Vatican.  He came in and claimed sanctuary, just like Quasimodo.

To flush him out, the US used what is called Music Torture.  A fleet of Humvees mounted with loudspeakers rolled in, and blasted music, 24 hours a day, in this densely populated area.  I believe it was Operation “Neat-o Tunes.”

The playlist included The Clash, Van Halen, U2, Bruce Cockburn, Guns-n-Roses and The Doors.

Thee Office of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff maintains that the music was used principally to prevent parabolic microphones from being used to eavesdrop on negotiations.  In other words: they lied.  Again.  It’s what they do.  (Ain’t that right, Weapons of Mass Destruction?)

After ten days of this, Noriega surrendered.  It was later noted that if country “music” was played, the standoff would have only lasted two hours.  But we couldn’t do that to the brave soldiers manning the Humvees.

Noriega then spent his time traveling the world.  He stayed in Jails in the US, France and… well, Panama.

Later that year, “Miami Vice” was then cancelled.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Then Noriega died.

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Their swath through 80s mediocrity continues!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Josh: 120 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)

Professional hockey puck, Don Rickles, died at the spry age of 90.

“Clint [Eastwood], I’m sorry, but I just gotta say what’s on everybody’s mind here tonight: You’re a terrible actor.”

“We kid about great stars such as you Bob [Hope], why? Because you’re old and washed up.”  “There’s no booing! There’s no booing! If there’s another outburst we’re going to let Bob Hope get up and do his jokes!”  “What’s Bob Hope doing here? Is the war over?”

To Jimmy Kimmel: “I met your son….he’s a wonderful young kid. And he was smiling because he knows one day he’s going to come into a lot of money.”

“Bob Newhart made the claim that I am his closest friend. I have never met Bob Newhart.”

“Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen, has been a great star for so many years. This man was married to a great many women in his life. They’re all flat now.”

“I must tell you, Mr. President [Reagan], it’s a big treat coming out here all the way from

Don Rickles

Look at that face.  Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

California for this kind of money.”

“Pat Boone, one of our great stars, right? Has a daytime show. He’s marvellous, the way he comes out—’Hi, I’m Pat Boone!’ What do you want, a cookie? You’re making a fool of yourself and going nowhere, pal. And I’m a friend.”

Don Rickles: “Can I say something, Johnny?”

Johnny Carson: “Certainly.”

Don Rickles: “You’ve gotten so old.”

“Marty (Scorsese) when we see all the films you did, none of them were great.”

“It’s a true story, so help me God.  Sinatra was headlining at the Sands, and I was with this girl having dinner in the lounge. She wasn’t anybody I would bring home to my mother, but I really wanted to score big. Frank was in the lounge at his table with Lena Horne and some other celebrities and all his security guards. And my date says, ‘My God, there’s Frank Sinatra! Do you know him?’

“I said, ‘Sure, he’s a friend of mine.’ Which he was. But I made it sound like my whole life. ‘We’re like brothers!’ She didn’t believe me. So I said, ‘Wait here, sweetheart,’ and I went over to Frank’s table. ‘What do you want, Bullethead?’ he said. That was his nickname for me. I told him I was trying to impress this girl and would he do me a very big favor and come over and just say hello. He said, ‘For you, Bullethead, I’ll do it.'”

“Five minutes later, Sinatra strolled over and said, ‘Don, how the hell are you?’

“And Don Rickles looked up and replied, ‘Not now, Frank. Can’t you see I’m with somebody?'”

This hit goes to: the Mumblers!  Noah and Leigh get their 1st hit!  Huzzah!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 120 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 90 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)

Death Row inmate Terry Edwards was executed in the “great” state of (you guessed it) Texas at the spry age of 43.  Edwards was convicted of robbing a Subway with his cousin, who may have been the one to pull the trigger.

It is unclear if Edwards was a murderer or a victim of institutional racism.  And, while a shadow of doubt existed… this is Texas.

Texas has executed more people since 1976 than the next six states combined.  The death penalty is considered by many to be a deterrent from crime.  

In Texas, it is considered more of a hobby.

That’s why there’s no crime in Texas.  Because their killings scare people straight.  See,

jared-fogle

“Come to Subway.  Bring the kids!”  [You’re supposed to unwrap it before you eat it, douchebag.]

Texas is a shangrila compared to the rest of the nation.  I bet you couldn’t name one murder victim in the whole state!  Se, you couldn’t.  I’m clearly right.

Actually, Texas is right smack dab in the middle of crime rates when compared to the rest of the nation (22nd worst murder rate).  

The truth is: Texas just sucks.  On the list of places to never step foot, Texas is right there next to hell and a Nickelback concert.

Texas is the country music of the nation.  It is the Lars Von Trier movie of the nation.   The liver and onions of an otherwise delectable meal.  The Michael Bay.  The Youtube commenter.  The stepping on a lego in the middle of the night.  The burnt roof of your mouth from hot pizza.  Texas is the state that steals your lunch out of the fridge at work.  It is the Donald Trump of the nation.  [Everythings bigly in Texas.]

Edwards’ attorneys cast doubt on the fairness of the jury selection, saying that prosecutors “removed all eligible African Americans from the jury pool of 3,000 citizens and seated an all-white jury to decide the fate of an African American man charged with murdering two white people.”  

Now, there’s no way that’s coincidence.  I mean, here in Vermont, yes, that is probably a statistical reality.  But Texas has a 30% minority population.

They found a strike list that next to the names of 32 of the questioned potential jurors has a handwritten, encircled “B.”  That could stand for “black.”  Because they don’t worry about buoyancy.  

Now, there is precedent from a case of a black man convicted of killing a white woman in Georgia being unconstitutional because of the way black jurors were excluded. In that case, prosecutors marked the names of black jurors with a “B” on lists.

This the “Institutional” part of “Institutional Racism,” boys and girls.

There was no clear gunshot residue from the murder weapon on his hands.  No blood from either victim on his body or clothes.  Now, the guy went in a robbed a Subway, so not exactly a stand-up citizen.  But should you die for stealing money from the people who made Jared Fogel rich?

See, this is how our government works.  We mark the race of jurors to make sure that no darkies get a say when prosecuting one of their own.  Instead of getting to the truth, we’re happy to get alternative facts.

Edwards may have been guilty as hell.  The real problem is that we killed him without actually knowing if he was guilty as hell or not.

Edwards’ last words were “Yes, I made peace with God. I hope y’all make peace with this.”

Unfortunately, they already have.

This hit puts Josh on top with 100 points!  A rookie with triple digits 12 weeks in!  That’s pretty impressive!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 100 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60)

Jami: 90 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 80 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 50 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20 )

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Former President of Iran, Hashemi Rafsanjani, escaped the Trump presidency at the spry age of 82 by way of a heart attack.

Hashemi had a close association with Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, the guy who overthrew the shah in 1979.  Or, as Americans know him: Ayatollah Ass-a-hole-ah.  

‘merica: we put the “-assy” in “Classy.”

But the Hash-man (as he was not known to his friends) wasn’t all bad.

For instance, he was credited with suggesting that “Death to America” be dropped from the litany of slogans at Tehran’s Friday prayers.  Heh, was this guy great or what?

In the Iran-Iraq war, he was widely credited with persuading the leadership in Tehran to accept a United Nations resolution that ended the fighting.  What a swell guy!

hashemi

Hashemi never tired pf telling people how big his dick was.

As President he had all those political dissidents and Kurds that he had executed… well, no one is perfect.

Rafsanjani was born into a family of wealthy pistachio framers, a phrase that I never knew existed.

At 4, he left his home village to study theology in the holy city of Qum, where he became a disciple of Ayatollah Khomeini.  I’m not sure if that’s an indoctrination thing or more a Middle-Eastern Doogie-Howser-boy-genius thing.

[OK, according to Wikipedia, he left his village at age 14.  Could the NY Times have a typo?  So, either Trump is right and the NYT is failing and Wikipedia is more reliable, or he left at 4…. So torn between logic and my beliefs…]

But let’s not forget the best thing about Hashemi Rafsanjani: His name.

Hashemi Rafsanjani!  What a fucking astounding name!  It’s the best name this side of Fyvush Finkle!  I want a name my next dog Hashemi Rafsanjani.

I have a feeling that I will be over ruled by my family on that one.  I’d have a better chance naming it Fyvush.

This hit goes to: ME!  I have been picking Hashemi Rafsanjani for years just because I love to say “Hashemi Rafsanjani!”

Now I’m in the At-Least-I-Have-As-Many-Points-As-Bean Club!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 90 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 80 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 50 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20 )

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

Josh: 40 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 20 – (William Christopher – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Star of “Law & Order,” (insert chung-chung sound here) and the 1st season of “Mission: Impossible,” Steven Hill died at the spry age of 94.

Hill will be most remembered for his role of the stern, seemingly imperturbable district attorney Adam Schiff on “Law & Order,” (insert chung-chung sound here).  But he really kicked ass as Daniel Briggs in the 1st season of “Mission: Impossible.”

But why only the 1st season?  Because he was Jewish.

As one of the few Orthodox Jewish actors working in Hollywood, he made it clear in advance of production that he was not able to work on the Sabbath (i.e., sundown Friday to dusk Saturday), and that he would leave the set every Friday before sundown.

The producers were all: “Yeah, sure, guy, that sounds great…”  Then, when Sundown

Steven Hill

“I’m gonna make it to that goddamned Seder if it kills my career!”

neared on Fridays and he left the studio (sometimes while still filming) the producers were suddenly like: “Oh, wait.  You were serious about that shit?  ‘Cuz that shit ain’t gonna fly.”

This became quite a sticking point with the producers.  They tried to use him less and less as episodes went on.  Normally, the show starts with the IMF team leader getting a mission (should he choose to accept it), doing the mission (because he always accepted it) and then kicking back with a scotch and soda at the nearest go-go bar.

Towards the end of the season, Hill would just get the mission and IMF his team would do the mission without him.  There were even a few episodes where he didn’t even do that much.

They couldn’t fire him because two years earlier that whole “Civil Rights Act” had been passed and equal employment meant that you couldn’t fire someone because of their religion.

Not to mention that doing so is totally a dick move.

Towards the end of filming, Hill was told to to climb the rafters via a soundstage staircase as was called for in the script and he refused.  This was likely a safety thing and not a Jewish thing.

But the producers were all: YES!  We can fire his ass now!

After that, Hill was blackballed and couldn’t get any work for the next ten years.  

In 1983, he made his big comeback in “Yentl.”  How embarrassing for him.

This hit goes to: Mary!  Another ten point brings her to 50 below the leader!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

Holocaust survivor and author Elie Wiesel died at the spry age of 87.

After surviving the German summer camp from hell (no, really this time), Weisel went on to write about his experiences.  His book Night is widely considered the seminal work in revealing the true pain and anguish brought upon by the horrific events that are so often compared to things like a healthcare bill.

During the first night in Auschwitz, he and his father watched a lorry (that’s European for “truck”) deliver its load of children into a fire.  

I was pissed last weekend when my Kindle Fire wouldn’t connect to Netflix and I couldn’t watch Archer episodes in bed.

“Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night… Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.”

Wiesel

Wiesel is in the second row, 7th from the left.  Yeah, He’s earned this lack of funny caption.

 

Yeah… my basement flooded this year.  It was pretty stressful.

The book goes on to explain a death march from the cmap to flee the oncoming Soviets.  Germans were ordered to shoot any prisoners who could not keep up.  The inmates spent two days and nights locked inside cramped barracks without food, water or heat, sleeping on top of one another, so that each morning the living wake with the dead underneath them.

Now, I know that I have been guilty of comparing modern politicians to Nazis and Hitler.  That shit’s gotta stop.  There is nothing in our sweet, cushy, American lives that can compare to this.

Does bad shit happen in the US?  Hell yes!  Is it ever comparable to the nazis?  ..well, maybe when we held Japanese Americans in internment camps…  even that wasn’t this bad.

But I think that before we call racist assholes like Trump a Nazi, we should take a second to read this book.

Bush was not a Nazi.  Obama is not a Nazi.  Neither compare to Hitler in any way.  Unless someone is planning on systematically murdering millions of people in the cruelest fashion known to man, we should reign ourselves in a bit.  Man, we can be dicks sometimes.

Wiesel won the nobel peace prize in 1986 and is honored around the world by just about everyone on the planet (except for jack-asses like Max Blumenthal), which is why this update is not a real laugh-riot.

You cannot make Elie Wiesel funny without being a complete douche.  And I’m only mostly douche.

This hit goes to me!  I’m up to 120 now, a mere 50 points from the leader!  Come on, Susan Smith!  Kill yourself already!  I won’t mind making fun of you at all you kid-killing bitch!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 120- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 80 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

Nathaniel: 10 (Alan Young – 10)