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Star of “Redemption: For Robbing the Dead,” “Love at First Kill,” “Adventures in Rainbow Country” and “Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx,” Margot Kidder, died at the spry age of 69.

In the 70’s, after starring in “The Great Waldo Pepper,” and “The Reincarnation of Peter Proud,” Kidder wanted to prove that she was more than just the star of “The Best Damn Fiddler from Calabogie to Kaladar.”

She did this when she was cast as Lois Lane in “Superman: The Movie.”  [Awww… look how quaint they were back then: having to point out that it’s a comic book movie.]

In the greatest Superman movie (Superman II), Kidder delivered one of the absolute lamest burns in the history of cinema when she said to Ursa, “You know something? You’re a real pain in the neck!” before killing her.  Really? That was all they could come up with?

This was the worst ever burn-delivered-while-killing-someone until Halle Berry asked “Do you know what happens to toads when they get hit by lightning?” in X-Men in 2000.

kidder

Kidder and her two true loves: The Blues Brothers and not wearing a bra.

In 1996, a virus infected her computer and caused her to lose three years worth of writing. After a data-retrieval company failed to restore her lost work, Kidder became manic depressive, convinced that the federal government and her then-husband were plotting to kill her.

But who hasn’t thought that the government was out to kill them?  I’m pretty sure the CIA is watching me right now.

In mid-April, Kidder ended up in downtown L.A., dirty and without her purse [she had thrown it away because she thought it held a bomb] and met a homeless man who vowed to look after her. She survived a rape attempt the next day, in which another homeless man kicked her in the stomach and also knocked caps off of her front teeth.  So… good job, homeless-guy-who-vowed-to-look-after-her.

Ever since then, she’s been a Ghoul Pool staple.

And that’s why the newly-moved Joanne gets 40 points!  Yes, Joanne has abandoned us here in the North Country, but she wants us to remember her through her Ghoul Pool hits!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

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Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! Scorekeeper Emeritus and professional answering machine voice recorder, Carl Kasell, died at the spry age of 84.

Kasell became an established journalist working for those commies over at NPR.  

He delivered the news in a steady baritone on All Things Considered [a show that considered all things] and Morning Edition [which I think aird in the evening].

Over the years he became known as one of the most trusted journalists in America [at least to a bunch of latte-chugging, Volvo-driving, tree-hugging, peace-monkeys].

In 1998, he threw all that out the window to become the judge and scorekeeper to the show Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me.  The NPR news quiz.

How exciting does that sound?  An NPR News quiz.  [It’s actually awesome and one for

kasell

Kasell, shown here posing very awkwardly with Wait Wait host Peter Sagal

my favorite podcasts.]

For years the main prize on the show was having Carl Kasell’s voice on your answering machine.  With the changing times they had to change that prize to Carl Kasell’s voice on your voicemail.

Kasell recorded outgoing messages for over 2,000 faithful NPR listeners.

And soon I will tell you who got this hit.  But first:

Kasell is survived by NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions – Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Tyler Green. Our intern – that’s Layne Gerbig. Our web guru is Beth Novey. BJ Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills and Miles Doornbos. Special thanks this week to Dutron (ph) and Julia Weiss. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of WAIT WAIT… DON’T TELL ME is Michael Danforth.

This hot goes to: The Mumblers!  This is Noah & Lee’s first hit this year!  They’re on the board for stealing a name from Jami!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Former 1st Lady and pearl wearer, Barbara Bush, died a at the spry age of 92.

Bab’s story began when the Angelos met the Saxons: She was seriously white.  

Like, her family was one of the “First Families” of Boston white.  In the 1600s.

She was a descendant of President Frankie Pierce, she grew up on a tree-lined street in the wealthy suburb or Rye, NY.  She was Presbyterian.

She wore figgin’ pearls!  That is, literally, the whitest necklace ever!  On multiple levels!

If you cut her, she bled actual blue blood.

When Babs was 16, she met her future husband… at a country club.  

At a country club in Greenwich, CT!!!!

Babs Bush

Bush, seen here talking down to Nancy Reagan.

But Barbara Bush was no Laura Bush.  She was someone who spoke her mind. She was known for her bluntness and candor.  She said that the issues of abortion and homosexuality had no place in politics. Her husband replied, “keep it dowwwnn… misplaced righteous anger is how we get people to show up…”

She once referred to Geraldine Ferraro as a “4 million dollar … I can’t say it, but it rhymes with rich.”  

When her son was diagnosed with dyslexia, she took up the cause of literacy.  Fun fact: it was Neil Bush who was dyslexic, not W. He’s just illiterate.

Throughout her husband’s presidency, she worked with organizations to help illiterate parents learn to read along with their children, which seems like a good idea.  But once your five year-old is bragging about beating dad in a spelling bee, shit gets ugly.

The White House staff said that she was the friendliest and most easy-going first lady that anyone could remember.  But then again, they did just have to deal with that witch, Nancy.  (Ask for a day off and she would just say no.)

She wrote a children’s book about the 1st dog’s litter of puppies.  Entitled “Millie’s Adventure with Parvo,” the book dealt with the disease that killed all the puppies by eight weeks.

Pretty dark shit, right?

This hit goes to Sue B.!  (and her husband!) This is their first ever hit!  The first is always the sweetest.  Congratulations and may you have many more… just don’t bet me… like most people do.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Czechoslovakian/American Director Miloš Forman started haunting his son at the spry age of 86.

Forman directed 20 movies, two of which are among the greatest movies of all time, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Amadeus.

But he also direct the movie Hair.  So… no one’s perfect.

Forman was an important component of the Czechoslovak New Wave along with New Order, The Talking Heads and The Human League.

Miloš (pronounced WHY-so) is now free to drive his son insane by stalking him in a black mask and cape, forcing him into his most inspired work while simultaneously driving him to his untimely death.

Maybe not the best in parenting choices, but it’s hard to be an armchair parent.

FORMAN

Foreman, shown here telling a fairly unimpressive fishing story.

In the 70’s, Foreman spent some time in an insane asylum where he met a roguish loose cannon who shook up the establishment.  Once they electroshocked the spark out of his life, Miloš felt that he had to smother his friend in his sleep and escape by throwing a large piece of plumbing through a window and running off into the woods.

This hot goes to: ME!  [Lee Kwang Soo!!! Lee Kwang Soo!!!  Lee Kwang Soo!!! ] Can you believe it!  My 1st hit of the year!!!!

Not to give out any spoilers, but I think that the next hit just might rhyme with Smarbara Tush!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

…Jesus, wrapped in a flaming tire…

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Lee Ermey, who played the drill instructor with a song in his step, a wink and a smile, died of a major malfunction at the spry age of 74.

Ermy served as a Marine, so you already know that he’s a badass.

He went on to play Sergeants and general military men in a few movies, including, Apocalypse Now, The Boys in Company C, Purple Hearts, Full Metal Jacket, Miami Vice, China Beach (remember that one?), Deathstone, The Rift, I’m Dangerous Tonight, Toy Soldiers, HUman Target, Civil Wars, Hexed, Body Snatchers, French Silk, Space: Above and Beyond, Under the Hula Moon, The Frighteners, The Angry Beavers, The Sender, All Dogs Go to Heaven: The Series, Maximum Bob, Cracker: Mind Over Murder, The Chaos Factor, Recess: School’s Out, Big Guy and Rusty the Robot, Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Toy Story 3, Toy Story Midway Mania, the Toy story video game, Toy Story Treats… well, just a shitlaod of Toy Story things… amongst others.

My point is: he played a shitload of military guys.

In 1987, he was cast as the drill instructor in Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket.  Initially, he was intended to be only the technical advisor. But Ermey put together an instructional tape, in which he went on an extended tirade towards several extras, convincing Kubrick he was the right man for the role.  

Seeking authenticity for the film, Kubrick allowed Ermey to write or edit his own dialogue and improvise on the set, a notable rarity in a Kubrick film.  Kubrick later indicated that Ermey was an excellent performer, often needing just two or three takes

lee-ermy

Oh yeah, that guy.  He scared the shit outta me.

per scene, also unusual for a Kubrick film.

Said every other actor who ever worked with Kubrick in the history of film: “Fuck you R. Lee.”

That authentic dialogue included:

Well, no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker! I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. [socks Joker in the gut] You little scumbag! I got your name! I got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers! I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself, or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!

I’ll bet you’re the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass, and not even have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you!

You climb obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know that, Private Pyle? …whatever you do, don’t fall down. That would break my fucking heart!

Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! [Pyle crawls down] I’m gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world!

What is your major major malfunction, numbnuts?! Didn’t Mommy & Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?!

This hit goes to:  Jami! My lovely wife is now only 30 points behind the leader!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

…Jesus, wrapped in a flaming tire…

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson died at the spry age of 90.

Benson started his career as a butler/cook for the Tate family in Connecticut.  He eventually moved to an unnamed state where he worked as the head of the governor’s household.

From there he made the obvious jump to Lieutenant Governor.

After that, he bought a football team.

Benson was known as a colorful owner.  I mean, he was white, but he had a certain Wessonality.  

His popularity waned when he attempted to shake down that state of Louisiana to fix up his shithole of a Superdome.  Fortunately, Louisiana knew that having a professional sports team in the state did absolutely zero for the state and told him to go straight to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

[Some state representatives may have believed the Saints to be a hockey team.]

Tom Benson

Benson showing off a trophy that he definitely earned himself.

After Hurricane Katrina, Benson made plans to move the team to San Antonio until then-Mayor Ray Nagin guilted him into staying when he said that it would be, “disrespectful to the Saints fans who have hung in with this franchise through 30-something years under very trying times.”

So, he was another rich white guy willing to leave New Orleans after Katrina.  Nice.

Benson proved more dickishness when he got into a fight with a TV cameraman in Baton Rouge.  Plus, his daughter got into a fight with his wife? And now they’re out of the will?

What the hell ever.

This hit goes to…. Who the fuck else picks team owners?  It goes to Tailgating with Jesus! Bean’s second hit brings him to a mighty twenty points!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 100 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Nelson Mandela’s wife, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela died at the spry age of 81.

Named by her father’s horse, Mandela lived her life in her husband’s shadow.  During the 27 years when he was in prison (suffering at a level that few of us can understand), she gained prominence in the anti-apartheid movement getting arrested herself and spending months in solitary confinement.  

I mean, she didn’t spend 27 years in prison, but it was pretty bad still.  You know, for a girl.

Winnie had some controversial stances, like endorsing violent behavior, like necklacing.  

Necklacing did not involve going to Kay Jewelers (a retailer that claims to originate every kiss) and buying some diamond-studded heart that looks like balls.  

Rather, it is the practice of execution and torture where you force a rubber tire, filled

winnie mandela

I was going to post a picture of necklacing.  But, oh my God it was much too horrific.

with gasoline, around a victim’s chest and arms, and set it on fire.  Which she would have done to-

Wait.  WHAT!?

Holy shitshacks that is horrible!  That is some medieval shit!

Normally it would take the victim 20 excruciatingly painful New-Jersey-smellin’ minutes to die.  Jesus on a fucking pogo-stick!!! SHE was in the shadow of Nelson Mandela?

I need a goddamned minute over here….

In the early 90s she and Nelson filed for divorce.  Nelson knew things were bad when she started shopping for old tires.

In the aughts, she put her wrapping-enemies-in-flaming-tire days behind ehr and reentered politics where she-

I’m sorry, I just can’t get over this necklacing shit.

This hit goes to: Joanne!  She jumps up to 6th place with 50 points!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

…Jesus, wrapped in a flaming tire…

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 100 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

English theoretical physicist, cosmologist, author and Director of Research for Theoretical Cosmology at Cambridge,  Honorary Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, lifetime member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and all-around smarty-pants, Stephen Hawking, died at the spry age of 76.

Professor Hawking was the first to set out a theory of cosmology as a union of relativity and quantum mechanics.  I mean, I had that shit all figured out too. But he published it before I could get it on paper.

In 1979, he became the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge – a post once held by Sir Isaac Newton… and, of course, George Lucas.

In 1963 he was given two years to live because he contracted Lou Gehrig’s Disease.  This seems like a rookie mistake for someone so smart. If you’re gonna knock boots with Gehrig, use some damn protection!

Hawking stretched that two years into 55 years.  Probably because he was all smart-like.

Benedict Cumberbatch, said he was “a true inspiration for me and for millions around the world”.  I include this mainly because of the name Benedict Cumberbatch.

In the 90s he was offered a knighthood which he turned down due to the government’s lack of science funding.  His balls may not have worked, but they were still huge!

Neil deGrasse Tyson tweeted, “His passing has left an intellectual vacuum in his wake. But it’s not empty. Think of it as a kind of vacuum energy permeating the fabric of spacetime that defies measure.”

Love the man, but I have no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.

This hit goes to Babysitter!  Next to die: Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 100 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Evil fuck Oskar Groening, the “Accountant of Auschwitz” died at the spry age of 96.

You really have to be an evil bastard to earn an “… of Auschwitz” moniker.  Unless you’re the “Hero or Auschwitz.” Or the “Auschwitz Emancipator.”

But there’s a reason why no one has those nicknames.

Groening helped murder 300,000 Jews.  That’s a lot of murder. I mean think about the

Groening

Really, a Nazi in wire-rim glasses?  This guy was an actual Indiana Jones villain!

big-time serial killers: Jeffrey Dahmer (17), John Wayne Gacy (33), Jame Gumb (6), Hannibal lecter (27), Dexter Morgan (135), Charles Manson (0… I mean, he didn’t do the actual killing).

Combined, that’s not even 0.073% of what this waste of carbon matter did!

Groening was convicted in Lueneburg in 2015 as an accessory to the murder of 300,000 Jews. All of his appeals were rejected and he was due to begin a four-year prison term soon.

So this guy, literally, got away with murder.  300,000 of them. OJ must be in awe of these numbers.  

Now the sentence that he eventually was given was four years.  FOUR YEARS!!!! That’s 0.00001333333 years per victim!  [Someone’s been using Google Calculator…]

Justice is dead.

Matt Groening could not be reached for comment.

This hit goes to Josh!  Why does it go to Josh? Because the motherfucker stole him from me!  Bastard!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 100 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Runner Roger Bannister died at the spry age of 88.

There was a demon that lived on the race track. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their legs would freeze up, they would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 0.00521329546743059 on the meter, 4 miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it: The 4-Minute Mile.

On the blustery and damp afternoon of May 6, 1954, a Thursday, 1,200 people showed up at Oxford’s unprepossessing Iffley Road track to watch an ametuer track meet.

This in itself is an amazing feat.  Over one thousand people showed up to watch pasty white guys run in a circle!  This feat was not duplicated again until 1981 when “Chariots of Fire” was released.

On that afternoon, Roger Bannister accomplished another amazing feat when he ran a

Bannister

Bannister about to break into air-guitar while listening to “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”  He was really feelin’ it.

full mile in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds.  He beat the 4-minute mile. [My personal best: the 25 minute mile.]

Is that as impressive as a track meet drawing 1,200 spectators?  No. But it’s still pretty impressive.

He had reached “one of man’s hitherto unattainable goals,” The New York Times declared, because the NYT likes to show off that they know fancy words like “hitherto.”

Bannister then became a household name when he invented a railing that goes along stairs.  It became the must-have safety accessory in homes around the world.

This hit goes to: Erin!  She now has three hits and 80 points!  A very respectable showing, especially considering her shut-out last year.

A Marist girl would have done better though…

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 100 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)