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Tag Archives: Bob Hope

Professional hockey puck, Don Rickles, died at the spry age of 90.

“Clint [Eastwood], I’m sorry, but I just gotta say what’s on everybody’s mind here tonight: You’re a terrible actor.”

“We kid about great stars such as you Bob [Hope], why? Because you’re old and washed up.”  “There’s no booing! There’s no booing! If there’s another outburst we’re going to let Bob Hope get up and do his jokes!”  “What’s Bob Hope doing here? Is the war over?”

To Jimmy Kimmel: “I met your son….he’s a wonderful young kid. And he was smiling because he knows one day he’s going to come into a lot of money.”

“Bob Newhart made the claim that I am his closest friend. I have never met Bob Newhart.”

“Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen, has been a great star for so many years. This man was married to a great many women in his life. They’re all flat now.”

“I must tell you, Mr. President [Reagan], it’s a big treat coming out here all the way from

Don Rickles

Look at that face.  Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

California for this kind of money.”

“Pat Boone, one of our great stars, right? Has a daytime show. He’s marvellous, the way he comes out—’Hi, I’m Pat Boone!’ What do you want, a cookie? You’re making a fool of yourself and going nowhere, pal. And I’m a friend.”

Don Rickles: “Can I say something, Johnny?”

Johnny Carson: “Certainly.”

Don Rickles: “You’ve gotten so old.”

“Marty (Scorsese) when we see all the films you did, none of them were great.”

“It’s a true story, so help me God.  Sinatra was headlining at the Sands, and I was with this girl having dinner in the lounge. She wasn’t anybody I would bring home to my mother, but I really wanted to score big. Frank was in the lounge at his table with Lena Horne and some other celebrities and all his security guards. And my date says, ‘My God, there’s Frank Sinatra! Do you know him?’

“I said, ‘Sure, he’s a friend of mine.’ Which he was. But I made it sound like my whole life. ‘We’re like brothers!’ She didn’t believe me. So I said, ‘Wait here, sweetheart,’ and I went over to Frank’s table. ‘What do you want, Bullethead?’ he said. That was his nickname for me. I told him I was trying to impress this girl and would he do me a very big favor and come over and just say hello. He said, ‘For you, Bullethead, I’ll do it.'”

“Five minutes later, Sinatra strolled over and said, ‘Don, how the hell are you?’

“And Don Rickles looked up and replied, ‘Not now, Frank. Can’t you see I’m with somebody?'”

This hit goes to: the Mumblers!  Noah and Leigh get their 1st hit!  Huzzah!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 120 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 90 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)

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The Andrews Sisters, Patty is the one with the big nose. Oh wait, let me be more specific: She;’s the blonde with the big nose.

Patty Andrews, the youngest of the Andrews sisters and the last surviving singer from Bing Crosby’s classic “Merry Christmas” album, died at the spry age of 94.

Back in the days when you didn’t need to be good looking to become a star, the Andrews sisters made their mark with their close harmony singing while indelibly identifying themselves with the music of World War II (the big one).

Their break came with a hit that was originally a B-Side, “Bei Mir Bist Du Schon,” which translates to “I hate my sisters, they always want to hang out with me and I just want to be alone God Damnit!”

Yes, Patty wanted a solo career.  She recorded a little bit on her own.  But without the hook of singing in close harmony with her sisters, she just didn’t have the nose to pull it off. 

Instead, they hit it big with “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy,” and toured with the USO where they entertained countless troops and always seemed to end up in a boozy four-way with Bob Hope.

This hit goes to… what?  Wait a minute!  Are you serious?  It goes to ME!  Yes your fearless ghoul Pool Administrator is on the board with a hefty 10 points!  Here I come Babysitter!  I’m takin’ you down!

For those who have the same amount of points as me: you suck.  Come on, you can’t even beat ME?  I NEVER win!  For those who have less: HA HA HA!

Happy pooling and may more of my hold-overs die,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Dawn-n-Mike – 30 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10, Patti Page – 20)

Joanne – 30 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus – 30 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20)

Team Sushi – 20 – (Conrad Bain – 20)

Babysitter – 20 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10)

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 10 – (Patty Andrews – 10)

The Girl on Fire – 10 – (Dear Abby – 10)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

The New Dick in Town – 10 – (Jack Klugman – 10)

Gainna – 10 – (Lucille Bliss – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

Perpetually un-funny woman, Phyllis Diller died at the spry age of 95.

Yes, she died on Monday and this is Saturday; proving that while death does not take a holiday, the Ghoul Pool Administrator does.

Diller was a great inspiration to Joan Rivers because she proved that you could be unattractive and annoying as hell in every respect and still make a living.

Phyllis Diller is shown here on her 20th birthday proving that a complete lack of substance shouldn’t keep any entertainer from succeeding.

 

She made it big when she starred in three movies with Bob Hope and later toured Vietnam with Hope in his USO shows.  Diller was a big pull at the USO because wherever she went, soldiers lined up for a chance to punch her in the face.  Alas, there was no real “Punch Phyllis Diller in the Face” attraction; it was just rumors started by wishful thinking.

Diller is also known for her record-breaking stretch as a comedian of not receiving a single laugh from 1952 through 1972, when Scooby-Doo peed on her leg.

Despite her work in such masterpieces as “Did you Hear the One About the Traveling Sales Lady?” and “Pucker Up & Bark Like a Dog,” Diller will always be remembered for her annoyingness.

When reached for comment, Fang said: “Phew!”

This hit goes to: Occupy the Casket!  She is now the 7th person to break the three-digit mark!  Congrats!

She has 100 points more than the Ghoul Pool Administrator-   wait… breaking news…  I’ll be back folks!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

The Walls of Jerica: 170 (Duggar #20 – 100, Kim Jong Il – 40, John Demjanjuk – 10)

Carol: 160 (Davy Jones – 40, Dick Clark – 20, George Lindsey – 20, Don Grady – 40, Andy Griffith – 20, Celeste Holm – 10, William Asher – 10)

Sister Mary Sheila:  140 (Christopher Hitchens – 40, Adam “MCA”Yauch – 60, Kathryn Joosten – 30,  Yitzhak Shamir – 10)

Mary: 130 (Dr. Mel Goldstein – 40, Whitney Houston – 60, Sherman Hemsley – 30)

Gianna:  110 (Bill Keane – 20, Jonathan Frid – 20, Robin Gibb – 40, Gregory Powell – 30)

Tailgating with that guy who’s still a Jackass: – 110 (Smokin’ Joe Frazier – 40, Joe Paterno – 20, Gary Carter – 50)

Pirate Jen “Occupy the Casket”:  100 (Anne McCaffrey – 20, Carroll Shelby – 20, Abdel Baset al-Megrahi – 40, Ray Bradbury – 10, Phyllis Diller)

“Imaginary” Steve: – 60 (Alan Sues – 20, Earl Scruggs – 20, Rauf Denktas – 20)

Jami “MORGAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” McFeeley: – 60 (Harry Morgan – 10, Etta James – 30, Maurice Sendak – 20)

Schelle’y: – 30 (Chuck Colson – 20, Hellen Gurley Brown – 10)

Ann B. Davis: – 20 (Mike Wallace – 10, Ann Rutherford – 10)