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Tag Archives: evil

Former President of Iran, Hashemi Rafsanjani, escaped the Trump presidency at the spry age of 82 by way of a heart attack.

Hashemi had a close association with Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, the guy who overthrew the shah in 1979.  Or, as Americans know him: Ayatollah Ass-a-hole-ah.  

‘merica: we put the “-assy” in “Classy.”

But the Hash-man (as he was not known to his friends) wasn’t all bad.

For instance, he was credited with suggesting that “Death to America” be dropped from the litany of slogans at Tehran’s Friday prayers.  Heh, was this guy great or what?

In the Iran-Iraq war, he was widely credited with persuading the leadership in Tehran to accept a United Nations resolution that ended the fighting.  What a swell guy!

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Hashemi never tired pf telling people how big his dick was.

As President he had all those political dissidents and Kurds that he had executed… well, no one is perfect.

Rafsanjani was born into a family of wealthy pistachio framers, a phrase that I never knew existed.

At 4, he left his home village to study theology in the holy city of Qum, where he became a disciple of Ayatollah Khomeini.  I’m not sure if that’s an indoctrination thing or more a Middle-Eastern Doogie-Howser-boy-genius thing.

[OK, according to Wikipedia, he left his village at age 14.  Could the NY Times have a typo?  So, either Trump is right and the NYT is failing and Wikipedia is more reliable, or he left at 4…. So torn between logic and my beliefs…]

But let’s not forget the best thing about Hashemi Rafsanjani: His name.

Hashemi Rafsanjani!  What a fucking astounding name!  It’s the best name this side of Fyvush Finkle!  I want a name my next dog Hashemi Rafsanjani.

I have a feeling that I will be over ruled by my family on that one.  I’d have a better chance naming it Fyvush.

This hit goes to: ME!  I have been picking Hashemi Rafsanjani for years just because I love to say “Hashemi Rafsanjani!”

Now I’m in the At-Least-I-Have-As-Many-Points-As-Bean Club!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 90 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 80 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 50 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20 )

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

Josh: 40 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 20 – (William Christopher – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

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Famously closeted homosexual Fred Phelps died at the spry age of 84.

Phelps spent most of his life suppressing that glorious summer of ‘44 at camp with his friend… Timmy…  And from that repression, boiled a special kind of hatred.  Only a hatred as strong as his forbidden love could get repress his true feelings.

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Phleps, reminiscing about that summer of ’44… and not-so-little Timmy’s girth.

See, this vomitous mass made a living by being a bat-shit crazy dick-weed who protested against gays at every chance, including toting “God hates fags” signs at military funerals.  How do you get away with such chicanery?  Say it’s all in the name of God.  Hey, it worked for the Crusades.

So, he founded the Westboro Baptist Church.  Christianity’s answer to al-Qaeda.  …And the worst gang-sign ever.

This worthless barrel of monkey-spunk didn’t just preach hate, he wanted hate done right.  If you’re going to hate, hate everyone.  Just go fuckin’ nuts with hate!  His “church” also carried signs that said things like “Thank God for dead soldiers,” “Thank God of IEDs,” “Your Pastor is a whore,” “The Jews killed Jesus.”  Fuckin’ assholes.

This king of putrescence painted an abhorrence-rainbow with vividly loathing colors.  The KKK sat back in awe.  The Tea Party… kinda liked them.  The Nazis…OK, the Nazis were still worse.  I mean, when the WBC kills millions, we can talk.

But it seemed most rewarding for this steaming pile of dog-shit to center on homosexuals:  “Fag Sin = 9/11,” “No tears for queers,” “Dyke liberty.”  Poor little Timmy…  Clearly, Phelps found the gayest people he could find to get them to repress their feelings into a torrent of pure abomination.

The only thing that the WBC liked more than sweet, sweet, secret gay sex, was disrupting funerals.  That was their thing.  Jack Nicholson wears sunglasses indoors.  Michael Jackson had the thing with the white glove.  Brad Pitt eats in all of his movies.  Lady Gaga wears meat dresses.  These chabonies show up at funerals with signs that say “Jews stole the land.”

And if you do not think that they are crazy-fucking-ass-wipes, look at their blog.  You know, the one found at www.godhatesfags.com.  If you think I am joking about that website, you are sadly mistaken.  

“Behold the three legs of the Unholy Trinity: The Dragon (Satan), The Beast (Antichrist Obama) and the False Prophet (the Pedophile-enabler Pope).”

And it’s not even written for their followers.  it’s all set in, “You are evil” and “you are an unbelieving ass-wipe” kind of speech.  It is designed so that the people of “this evil whore of a nation” can really learn how awful they truly are.

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Indoctrination: It’s not just for other religions!

According to the internet, the Westboro Baptist Church protested at 5,987,463,863 funerals just last week.  And next week, it’s like, 100 times more!  Every time there was a tragic death, rumors about the WBC protesting it started up.  Kid gets hit by car: Westboro is going to protest!  School shooting: Westboro will protest!  Fred Phelps dies… oh.  

Ironically, this bag of excrement will have no funeral.  Which is disappointing, because it would be the perfect platform for his church to protest.  That and, who doesn’t want to see his whore of a pastor speak?

This hit goes to: Gianna!  Gianna had the foresight to think that this 24-karat asshole wouldn’t make the year.  And, frankly, she’s a better person for it.  That and she’s only 20 points behind the leader!  Of course, taking the lead is a pretty tall order.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Starving Writer – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna 80 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20)

Jami: 80 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60)

Tailgating with Jesus – 50 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20 )

“Imaginary” Steve: 30 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

The Girl on Fire – 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)

The world is a slightly better place: one less Texan.  Country “musician” Ray Price, died at the spry age of 87.

In the 50’s he revolutionized Country music by sliding a beer bottle along his guitar… or letting his three-legged hound dog howl on his record… or something.

In 1953, Price founded The Cherokee Boys, a band that got bullied until they were saved by a righteous Billy Jack ass-kickin’.  The Cherokee nation was happy to let him use their name and belittle their race because,

No, that's not a ventriloquist's dummy, that's Ray Price!

No, that’s not a ventriloquist’s dummy, that’s Ray Price!

you know, it was all in good fun.

He was on The Grand Ole Opry… or is it in the Grand Ole Opry?  Featured in or on the Gand Ole Opry?  Part of the Grand Ole Opry?  What exactly the hell is the Grand Ole Opry?  Isn’t it just a barn with a bunch of hay-seeds trying out for a spot on Hee-Haw?

Price had a string of hits that all sucked because of their unfortunate genre.  I think I’d rather listen to Bette Midler sing The Stones.

Anyway, he died… let’s say with his boots on.  So that JOANNE could get a hit!

Joann has done the impossible!  She has tied me for the lead at 30 points.  But don’t let it go to your head, Joanne.  Tomorrow I’ll get an epic hit that will leave you in the dust, crying like a little girl with a skinned knee.

Happy Pooling,
SPMI

Current Standings:

Joanne: 30 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20)

SPMI: 30 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10)

Gianna 20 (Tom Laughlin – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 10 (Eleanor Parker – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House ) – 10 (Frederick Sanger – 10)

“Imaginary” Steve: 10 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10)

Nazi War criminal László Csatáry died at the spry age of 98… back in August.

Dawn, being a good and true Ghoul Pooler, googled many of the names on her and Mike’s list ad found this hit had been missed by your illustrious Ghoul Pool Administrator.

He was accused of organizing the deportation of approximately 15,700 Jews to Auschwitz.  He is also accused of having inhumanely exercised his authority in a forced labor camp.  He is also accused of brutalizing the inhabitants of the city.  He was convicted in absentia for war crimes in Czechoslovakia in 1948 and sentenced to death.

This Grandfatherly old man sent 15,700 people to certain death.

This Grandfatherly old man sent 15,700 people to certain death.

As you can see, he was a real go-getter.  He clearly worked with a goal-oriented paradigm that produced solid measurables.  I mean, being an essential part of the extermination of 15,700 people?  That is one competent man.  Sure, he was evil, but he delivered that evil in extraordinary numbers.

Csatáry (pronounced: mər-dər-ing fək-stik) lived in Canada until the Kunucks found out who was using their free healthcare system. And they don’t want to spend their tax dollars on healing the evil.

In 2012 he was found in Hungary where he died on August 10, 2013.  He has reportedly joined Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s soccer team and is organizing a book club with Osama Bin Laden.

As Mentioned earlier, this hit goes to Dawn-n-Mike (but mostly Dawn… because she discovered the hit).  After the Ghoul Pool has closed, we add ten more points to their lead.

Below are the official closing results for the  2012 – 2013 Harry Morgan Memorial Ghoul Pool.

Checks can be made out to Mike Young or Dawn Lambert or Re-match Sports (selling consignment sporting goods in downtown Littleton, NH!).

Mail checks to:

Dawn-n-Mike

84 Railroad Street

Littleton, NH  03561

So, congrats to Dawn-n-Mike on their rookie win!  The first rookie win since the 1st draft…. where we were all rookies.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI