God is Gay (according to the Roman Catholic Church)

Cardinal Edmund Szoka (no relation to Keyser Soze) died at the spry age of 86.  Guess who had him.

Szoka served as the American prelate of the Roman Catholic Church.  Here, I assume that prelate means that he was late, but earlier than most late people… or… wait?  How can you be prelate?  Isn’t that just being on time?  Or even early?

He was also President Emeritus of the Pontifical Commission for Vatican City State and President Emeritus of the

Fun fact: Szoka’s favorite painting was “Whistler’s Mother.”

Governatorate of Vatican City State.  And we all know: the longer the title, the shitter the job.  I’m pretty sure the first job is actually the title for “water boy” for the Papal softball team and the other job was official Vatican urinal cleaner.  Although… it has been quite some time since I went to church.  So, I may not be the best guy to ask.

From 1971 to 1981, he served as Bishop of Gaylord.  Now, I’m pretty sure that the Church is all against homosexuality.  But do they even realize that they have a Bishop for the Gay Lord?  I mean, that seems pretty hypocritical to accept that God is gay but not accept that Joe from down the street is gay.  As a matter of fact, if we are made in His image, shouldn’t we ALL be gay?  Man, I’m gonna call the Pope.

This hit goes to: The sinister Arch-Bishop!  I-Steve strikes at the College of Cardinals yet again!  He is now a mere 40 points behind the leader!  That’s two bishops away from a tie!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 190 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60, Peaches Geldof – 80, Rubin “The Hurricane” Carter – 30)

“Imaginary” Steve (aka: The Arch-Bishop): 150 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20, Emmanuel III Delly – 20, Marco (Polo!) Cé – 20, Cardinal Simon Lourdusamy – 10, Cardinal Bernard Agre – 20, Cardinal Francesco Marchisano – 20, Cardinal Edmund Szoka – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus: – 140 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10, Jack Ramsay – 20, Don Zimmer – 20, Chuck Noll – 20, Don Pardo – 10)

Joanne: 100 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20, Connie Marrero – 0, Al Feldstein – 20, Casey Kasem – 20, Eli Wallach – 10)

Starving Writer: – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna: 90 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20, Marc Platt – 0, Dick Smith – 10)

SPMI: 90 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10, Dave “Sick-motehrfucker” Herman – 30, Terry Richards – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 80 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10, Dick Ayers – 10, Robin Williams – 40)

The Girl on Fire: 70 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20, James Brady – 30)

Babysitter: 70 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20, Mickey Rooney – 10, Ann B. Davis! – 20, Stephanie Kwolek – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House): – 60 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. – 10, Gary Becker – 20)

Dick in Town: 50 (Hiroo Onoda – 10, Dick “Dickie” Jones – 20, Elaine Stritch – 20)

Team Sushi: – 50 (Bob Hoskins – 30, Maya Angelou – 20)

Nora the Explorer: 30 (Jeremiah Denton – 20, Ruby Dee – 10)

Nikki: 20 (Lauren Bacall – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)