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Tag Archives: Godzilla

Haruo Nakajima, the first actor to play Godzilla, died at the spry age of 88.

In 1954, Nakajima starred in the 1st Godzilla movie and he had a small part in Akira Kurosawa’s masterpiece “Seven [*ya-a-a-w-wn*] Samurai.”  That’s kinda running the gamut [an annoying artsy-fartsy movie and miniature destruction porn (a precursor to today’s destruction-porn)] with only two movies!

Mr. Nakajima would eventually put on the 200 pound rubber monster costume 12 times from 1954 to 1972 in a series of movies that became an international phenomenon.  Not a very entertaining phenomenon, but still popular enough.  Kinda like the Kardashians.  

Wearing a hot, heavy suit beneath bright lights had him sweating so much, he said, that at the end of a day’s shooting he could wring enough perspiration from his undershirt to fill half a bucket.  God, that’s disgusting.  If you smell carefully, you can still smell the stink from that suit from here.

To perfect the monster’s destructive gait, Mr. Nakajima spent hours at the zoo studying

Godzilla

Nakajima, shown here dehydrated and passing out.

how elephants and bears walked. He wanted the monster to be believable.  I mean, it didn’t work because a Nick Cage performance is more believable.  But, He did pretty good for a guy in 200 pounds of latex.

 

Truth is, he could only stay inside the suit for three minutes before passing out.  That meant that they couldn’t do any of those Alfonso Cuarón ten-hour tracking shots.

This hit goes to: Morrigan’s Mirror, which I have to yet again remind myself, is NOT Nathaniel!  Especially with such a geek-cred pick.

As a note: there is only one person without a hit.  How does it feel, Erin?

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 90 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Half-faced movie critic, Roger Ebert died at the spry age of 70.

Image

Hey, kids: don’t smoke.

Ebert was the Ebert-esque half of the team Siskel and Ebert.  Known to millions as “the fat one,” Ebert was Ernie to Siskel’s Burt for 24 years.

While there are many funny jokes I can make, I think he wrote plenty of his own:

The Brown Bunny, 2003
“I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.”

Armageddon, 1998
“No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out.”

Godzilla, 1998
“Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter’s Basilica.”

Battlefield Earth, 2000
“Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way.”

North, 1994
“I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.”

Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles, 2001
“I’ve seen audits that were more thrilling.”

The Village, 2004
“To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes.”

Bucket List, 2007
“I urgently advise hospitals: Do not make the DVD available to your patients; there may be an outbreak of bedpans thrown at TV screens.”

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, 2009
“If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.”

The Last Airbender, 2010
“The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.”

Seven Days In Utopia, 2011
“I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.”

For more, go to: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/04/funniest-roger-ebert-quotes_n_3017219.html

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Yes, they climb out of the hell that is having 20 points and are now only 30 points behind the new Dick in Town!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Dawn-n-Mike – 120 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10, Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30, Hugo Chavez – 50, Frank Thornton – 10)

The New Dick in Town – 80 – (Jack Klugman – 10, Mindy McCready – 70)

Tailgating with Jesus – 70 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20, Gus Triandos – 20)

Joanne – 60 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20, C. Everett Koop – 10, Moon Mullen – 10, Virgil Trucks – 10)

Team Sushi – 50 – (Conrad Bain – 20, Roger Ebert – 30)

Gianna – 50 – (Lucille Bliss – 10, Bonnie Franklin – 40)

Tailgating with Jesus – 70 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20, Gus Triandos – 20)

Council of Geeks – 40 (Richard Griffiths – 40)

The Girl on Fire – 30 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20)

Babysitter – 20 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10)

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 10 – (Patty Andrews – 10)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)