7’ 2” Actor known for playing Jaws, Richard Kiel, died at the spry age of 74.
There were special obstacles to playing a shark in the 1975 classic. First off, he was human. He was also lazy. The crew often announced that “The shark is not working today.”
In the freezing waters off of Martha’s Vineyard, Kiel was forced to eat Robert Shaw over and over again. He also had to endure being called “Bruce” the whole time.
He did love filming the opening scene with the skinnydipper though.
Oh, wait…. I have the wrong Jaws? …from “Moonraker?” But that movie sucked donkey balls! I would have to say that Mr. Warren Mears put it best when he said “The gondola turns into a hovercraft? It’s retarded. Besides, the guy had, like, no edge… Moonraker… is inexcusable!”
OK, so he didn’t play a shark. Instead, he played a really tall guy with razor-sharp, steel teeth. Teeth that could apparently cut through anything, like steel cables, shelving and Nature Valley granola bars.
Jaws was seemingly impervious to injury and death. He survives an Egyptian structure collapsing on top of him, being hit by a van, being thrown from a train, a car crash where he which veers off a cliff and lands in a hut below, a battle with a shark (reportedly not related to “Bruce,” from the much better film), the destruction of his boss’ lair, falling several thousand feet, a
Worst. Churro. Ever!
crash through a building inside a runaway cable car , and going over Iguazu Falls. His signature move was to get up, dust himself off, and walk away.
Like he’s fucking Wolverine or something.
He went on to do other movies… but no one really cares. But he did lend his voice to Vlad, a patron of The Ugly Duckling, in the movie “Tangled.” I mention this because my daughter would never forgive me if I passed up on a “Tangled” reference.
This hit goes to: that Starving Writer! This elevates him to 130 points, a mere 60 points behind the leader.
On a side note. You may remember that the last hit, S. Truett Cathy, was drafted twice. Because we are a peaceful Ghoul Pool, Carol and Team Sushi have decided to share points, They each get five points. Now lets all hug and sing “Age of Aquarius.”
NOTE: Draft Night is on November 1st! Please let me know if you plan on coming.
Happy pooling,
SPMI
Current Standings:
Jami: 190 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60, Peaches Geldof – 80, Rubin “The Hurricane” Carter – 30)
“Imaginary” Steve (aka: The Arch-Bishop): 150 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20, Emmanuel III Delly – 20, Marco (Polo!) Cé – 20, Cardinal Simon Lourdusamy – 10, Cardinal Bernard Agre – 20, Cardinal Francesco Marchisano – 20, Cardinal Edmund Szoka – 20)
Tailgating with Jesus: – 140 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10, Jack Ramsay – 20, Don Zimmer – 20, Chuck Noll – 20, Don Pardo – 10)
Starving Writer: – 130 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60, Richard Kiel – 30)
Joanne: 110 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10, Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20, Connie Marrero – 0, Al Feldstein – 20, Casey Kasem – 20, Eli Wallach – 10, Richard Attenborough – 10)
Gianna: 90 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20, Marc Platt – 0, Dick Smith – 10)
SPMI: 90 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10, Dave “Sick-motehrfucker” Herman – 30, Terry Richards – 20)
Occupy the Casket: 80 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10, Dick Ayers – 10, Robin Williams – 40)
The Girl on Fire: 70 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20, James Brady – 30)
Babysitter: 70 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20, Mickey Rooney – 10, Ann B. Davis! – 20, Stephanie Kwolek – 10)
Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House): – 60 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. – 10, Gary Becker – 20)
Dick in Town: 50 (Hiroo Onoda – 10, Dick “Dickie” Jones – 20, Elaine Stritch – 20)
Team Sushi: – 55 (Bob Hoskins – 30, Maya Angelou – 20, S. Truett Cathy – 5)
Nora the Explorer: 30 (Jeremiah Denton – 20, Ruby Dee – 10)
Carol’s 1%: 25 (Harold Simmons – 20, S. Truett Cathy – 5)
Erika: 20 (Joan Rivers – 20)
Nikki: 20 (Lauren Bacall – 20)
Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)
Welcome to Ghoul Pool Headquarters 