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Father of the zombie, George A. Romero died at the spry age of 77.

“Night of the Living Dead,” ushered in a new version of horror, the-  ..the-  Braaaaiiins…..[Focus, McFeeley!  Focus!] …a new era of horror films: the Zombie flick.

The movie in itself is very simple.  No boring exposition to bog the action d- …Braaaaiinsss… [God, keep it together!] …down.  Zombies appear and you just need to be scared.  [Man, I’m hungry.]

Romero got his start in an unlikely place: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.  He did a short film for Mr. R when Rogers went in for a tonsillectomy.  There were creative differences from  beginning, but in the end, Romero acquiesced to the saintly Rogers and removed most of the blood and gore from the operation scene.

The director’s cut is available on the Mr Rogers Criterion Collection DVD set.

Romero directed Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, and Diary of the Dead.  Bar Mitzvah of the Dead was never released due to its anti-semitic nature.

But he didn’t just do “of the dead” movies.  He always thought that his greatest work was Martin.  Not only was it such a break from the horror genre but the 90s sitcom was a

Romero

Romero also invented the mosh pit.

seminal touchstone for 90s African-American culture.

Romero famously hated the Sheneneh character.  As did we all.

On Sunday, Romero died from lung cancer.

On Monday, his corpse rose and is now shambling vaguely about the greater Los Angeles area in search of brains.

He may never find any.

This hit goes to: M!  It’s her first ever hit!  Congratulations!

PS: I am well aware of the controversy over whether Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead or alive.  The most reliable source still says that he is dead.  I will remove my points if he is proven alive.  If it is still up in the air at draft time, I will remove the points.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Veteran character actor Bernard Fox died at the spry age of 89.

Bernie appeared as Dr. Bombay on 19 episodes of Bewitched, which ran from 1966-72.  He took a lot of credit for the role.  “If I’d just gone for an ordinary doctor, you wouldn’t have heard any more about it. But because I made him such a colorful character, that’s why they wanted him back.”

Yeah, it’s all about you, Bernie.  It’s not like the show had writers or anything…  Dude, you were in 19 episodes of a show that ran for eight seasons.

Fox reprised the role on the 1977 sequel Tabitha.  Tabitha was on the air for one season.  It

fox

“I can’t believe I’m being force to work with Billy-fucking-Zane!  I hate this movie!”

aired 10 years after the character was born but she was somehow in her 20s.  I guess her mom wiggled her nose through puberty.

He also reprised the role in 1999 for a few episodes of Passions.  [“Timmy’s down the bloody well!”]

His résumé also includes such awful movies as  Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (1977), The Private Eyes (1980), Yellowbeard (1983) and Titanic (1997). He specialized in playing upper-crust characters.

Fox is noted for having appeared in two Titanic films released 39 years apart.  The 1st, vastly superior version A Night to Remember from 1958 and Jame’s Cameron’s epic boil on the history of cinema’s ass, Titanic.  

[Here I am assuming A Night to Remember is vastly superior.  I have not seen the movie.  But how can it not be vastly superior to Cameron’s piece of crap?   Move over rose, you selfish bitch!  There’s plenty of room on that door for the love of your life!]

This hit goes to: Jami!  Jami is now tied for 2nd place and is a mere 30 points behind the leader.

Bean is still at ten points.  Good times.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 60 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10)

Josh: 30 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10)

Jami: 30 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 20 (Alice Drummond – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 10 – (Ralph Branca – 10)

There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction he his going.  There’s no knowing where he’s rowing or which way the river Styx is flowing.

Star of “Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx” and owner of the worst hair ever, Gene Wilder (no relation to Van Wilder), died at the spry age of 83.

Gene’s first major movie role was in Mel Brook’s 1967 classic “The Producers” as the straight man to Zero Mostel’s… Zero Mostel.

This role got him an oscar nomination for best supporting actor which he list to that hack, George Kennedy, who was in “Cool Hand Luke.”

Gene Wilder

Wilder shown here indicating that something is “O-K.”

But four years later, Wilder will make the movie that he will be remembered for.  “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory,” was a flop that pulled in $2.1 million on it’s opening weekend.  Apparently, parents avoided it because they thought that it portrayed cruelty to children.

Well, parents need to get over themselves.

Over the years, the movie popped up on TV.  Mostly during Easter.  Cuz, while there are little to no children’s movies about Easter, there is one about candy!  The movie gained popularity in the 80s and soon became a classic.  

Wilder was hesitant to take the roll but the took it under one condition.  One, very specific condition.  He said (actual quote):

When I make my first entrance, I’d like to come out of the door carrying a cane and then walk toward the crowd with a limp. After the crowd sees Willy Wonka is a cripple, they all whisper to themselves and then become deathly quiet. As I walk toward them, my cane sinks into one of the cobblestones I’m walking on and stands straight up, by itself… but I keep on walking, until I realize that I no longer have my cane. I start to fall forward, and just before I hit the ground, I do a beautiful forward somersault and bounce back up, to great applause.

He had this idea so that for the rest of the film, you didn’t know if Wonka was telling the truth or not.

Wilder will always be remembered best as Willy Wonka… or more accurately, a meme of Willy Wonka that drips of sarcasm.

WonkaThree Years after that, Wilder teamed up with Mel Brooks again for two… no, not one, but two of their greatest movies ever.

“Blazing Saddles,” one of the fucking funniest movies ever made, spoofed westerns, but more so, spoofed racism in movies.  Ever since then, there has been absolutely zero racism in movies.  It’s really quite astounding.  

Wilder played “The Waco Kid,” (Jim, to his friends) who was the fastest and apparently the least racist gun in the west.  (“What’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?”)

That year also saw the release of “Young Frankenstein.”  Jesus Christ, this movie is funny.  If you have not seen these movies, stop reading and go see them.  Right now.  I’ll wait.

I will always be indebted to Gene Wilder because he was insistent on including the “Puttin’ on the Ritz” number in “Young Frankenstein.”  I am literally laughing about this scene as I type.

Brooks was resistant to the number as a mere “conceit” and felt it would detract from the fidelity to Universal horror films. Wilder recalls being “close to rage and tears” and argued for the scene before Brooks stopped him and said, “It’s in!”. When Wilder asked why he had changed his mind, Brooks said that since Wilder had fought for it then it would be the right thing to do.

When the filmed the scene, nobody was really sure what the monster would say until Peter Boyle, without any direction, belted out “Puiinin on da reeez!”

I have this on my Ipod.

This hit goes to: Harmony!  The rookie has a strong 80 points… although, that is less than half of the leader’s score…

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS: Draft night is 11/5 – a mere 66 days away!

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Harmony: 80 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

R2D2 beeped his last beep this weekend when diminutive actor Kenny Baker died at the spry age of 81.

Baker took the job of sitting in an 80 pound tin can in the middle of the Tunisian desert in 100 degree heat just to entertain us all as R2D2: the droid with a plan.

See, all of Star Wars goes according to R2’s plans.  Once he get the schematics for the Death Star loaded into him, he’s like, “Awright, let’s get this shit done!”

He commandeers an escape pod to get to the home planet of Obi Wan Kenobi and despite imprisonment by Jawas and a family of moisture farmers, he manages to trick some dumb kid (who just wanted to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters) into taking off his restraining bolt so that he could be on his merry way to Obi Wan…

My point is: that little fucker knew what the hell he was doing.

Because he stood at a commanding 3’ 8” tall (that would have made him ½ of a Darth

Baker

The head of Kenny Baker will be on display at the National Gallery in London.

Vader), he was an ideal candidate to sit in the tin can.

Baker initially turned down the roll of R2 saying, “I don’t want to be stuck in a robot, what for, for goodness sake.”  Because he was the only person who could fit inside the R2 unit and manipulate it, he eventually relented and later said that if he were to do it again, he would have done it for free.

I know what you’re thinking: why not make the robot more… robotic?  Because this was 1976, jackass.  The most recent movie to use robotics in a big way was “Jaws.”  And that damn shark never worked.  So installing remote servos and all that shit was out of the question, practically and technologically.  

Now stop asking stupid-ass questions.

Cause of death was listed as a direct hit from an ion blaster that disabled Baker, rendering him powerless.  CCTV revealed that Jawas were in the area at the time, but Scotland Yard is not commenting on the possibility of a Jawa scavenging.

This hit goes to: Nathaniel!  (To which we all sigh a collective “duh.”)  Nathaniel claws his way up from last place with 10 points, all the way to last place with 30 points!

The force: not so strong with this one.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 100 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

Nathaniel: 30 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20)

Professional ghost, Marni Nixon, became an actual ghost at the spry age of 86.

Nixon was a singer in Hollywood with a hell of a set of pipes.  But producers didn’t think she had the gams to be a leading lady.  So they used her to dub singing for other performers.  In the biz, they call this “ghosting.”

Contractually, she could not say that she ghosted for anyone which turned out to be the worst kept secret when Deborah Kerr outed Nixon.  It’s a lot like that episode of the Simpsons where he may not have been credited… but you still knew it was Dustin Hoffman.

Once the secret tapes of her singing became public, a congressional investigation eventually lead to Nixon’s resignation in 1974.  The nation reeled from the scandal and to this day the public has major trust issues with Hollywood.

Sometimes actresses were not happy when Nixon ghosted for them.  Natalie Wood stormed off the set of “West Side Story” when she found out.  She returned to work when she finally realized that a paycheck is a paycheck and bitch gotz billz to pay.

Nixon

Nixon before she kicked the habit.

In 1953 Nixon was hired to hit the high notes in the song “Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend” for Marilyn Monroe in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.”  Monroe was so angry she was quoted years later saying, “I’m still so angry about that that I could just-… I could-… Well, I could sleep with the President!”

The amazingly perfect Audrey Hepburn worked with Nixon on “My Fair Lady.”  Hepburn kept thinking that she could sing as well as Nixon if she tried hard enough.  Apparently, she couldn’t.  According to Nixon, There was no tension between the the two of them because: Audrey Hepburn was fucking perfect.

Nixon’s eventual recognition ended up landing her some pretty plumb roles in the end.  In “Mary Poppins,” she got to voice the geese.  She starred in “The Sound of Music” as Sister Sophia.  And, of course, she played Grandmother Fa in “Mulan.”

This hit goes to the Girl on Fire!  Mary his triple digits with this hit and is now tied for 4th place w/ Occupy the Casket!

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 100 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

Nathaniel: 10 (Alan Young – 10)

Tiny actor Michu Meszaros {Pronounced: in some weird Hungarian way] died at the spry age of 76.

At 2’ 9”, Michu was unofficially the smallest person in the world.  I really don’t know why it was unofficial.. Did he fill out a form in duplicate instead of triplicate?  …Fuckin’ DMV.

Named after the abbreviation of Machu Picchu, the diminutive Hungarian was best known for playing Alf on the popular 80s sitcom, “Alf.”  Whenever Alf moved from behind the couch to the table, looking all creepy because you know he’s just a puppet, and he shouldn’t be walking around like that because puppets don’t have legs and it’s just fukin’ creepy!, that was Michu inside of that Alf suit.

He couldn’t be in the Alf suit for too long because it was extremely hot and uncomfortable for the actor to wear under the bright studio lights.  And there are labor laws that are meant to protect people from such conditions.  Unlike in Japan where you play goddamn Godzilla until we drag your goddamn unconscious body out of that goddamn suit and sew in a goddamn replacement actor!

As a youngster, Michu attended a state-run school of circus arts, becoming well-versed in many and varied performing skills.  He did this because he could see the fucking writing

Michu Meszaros

That Michael Jackson… he loved males of small stature.

on the wall.  He was 2 feet tall!  What the hell else is he gonna do?  He was never going to make it as the manager of the local Hungarian Quick Stop [known locally as Gyors Stop].  If he was gonna make any scratch in this world, the circus was the ticket.

After hearing rumors of his existence for years, Ringling Brothers found him in 1973 and hired him to be… well… a midget.  But you know, in a way that debases his dignity.

Michu did a bit as a trainer for standard poodles.  See, it was funny because the dogs were bigger than he was.  And somewhere, a young Peter Dinklage hung his head in quiet disgust.

Michu was in four feature films including Waxwork, Big-Top Pee-Wee, Warlock: Armageddon, Freaked and… oh, I guess that’s all of them.

That last movie starred Brooke Shields and is about a vain actor, his best friend, and an activist end up at a mutant freak farm run by a weirdo scientist.  Must.  See.  This.  Movie!

He also did an episode of “Dear John,” because he and Judd Hircsh had been looking for a project to do together for years.

This hit goes to: Mostly Mike!  He is now up to an astounding 50 points!  Remember, this is the guy who won on his rookie year.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 100 – (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 90 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 80 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mostly Mike: 50 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

Nathaniel: 10 (Alan Young – 10)

Movie star and all-around hottie, Maureen O’Hara died at the spry age of 95.

O'Hara, trying out the "Beat" look.

O’Hara, trying out the “Beat” look.

She died in her home in Boise Idaho— Boise Idaho?  Who the fuck chooses to live Boise, Idaho?  No, really, you’re an internationally famous movie star and Boise is where you want to spend the rest of your days?  I mean, you’re from fucking Ireland!

O’Hara starred in scores of classic movies including 1939’s “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” with Charles Laughton.  This is not to be confused with the 1923 film “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” starring Lon Chaney.  Or the 1911 film “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” starring Henry Krauss.  Or the 1956 film “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” starring Anthony Quinn and Gina Lollobrigida.  Or the 1986 Australian animated film “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” starring Tom Burlinson.  Or the 1996 film “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” starring a bunch of singing and dancing gargoyles.

In 1941, she starred in “How Green Was My Valley,” which was the snoozefest that beat “Citizen Kane” for Best Picture.  (Just so you know, the valley was all grey, because it’s a black and white movie.  There, I just saved you two hours of your life.  Use it to watch “Citizen Kane.”)

In 1947, she made one of the greatest Christmas movies ever in “A Miracle on 34th Street,” with Natalie Wood, who is also dead (she was the only wood that couldn’t float, if you know what I mean).

Literally.

Literally.

Her favorite movie was “The Quiet Man.”  Mainly because she loves a good piece of misogyny where you’re literally dragged across town by your hair.  Literally.

This hit goes to: Occupy the Casket!  Yes, Pitate climbs ever closer to the lead.  She is only 20 points behind.  Will she get another his before 2:00 AM on November 1st?

Not bloody likely…

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

The Girl on Fire: 180 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20, Anne Meara – 20, Denise McCluggage – 20, Bobbi Christina Brown – 80, Frank Gifford – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 160 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90, Maureen O’Hara – 10)

Jami: 140 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50, Dick Van Patten – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus: 130 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20, Louise Suggs – 10)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 120 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10, Giovanni Canestri – 10, Giacomo Biffi “the Vampire Slayer” – 20, William W. Baum – 20, László Paskai – 20)

Gianna: 110 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70, Vincent Bugliosi – 10, Dean Jones – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Marion Barry – 30, Omar Sharif – 20, Dave Benton – 50)

Nikki: 90 – (Stuart Scott – 60, BB King – 20, Yogi Berra – 10)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 70 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20, Alex Rocco – 30, Milton Delugg – 10)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Nora the Explorer: 50 – (James Best – 20, Ben E. King – 30)

Babysitter: 50 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30)

Mostly Mike: 40 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10, Dickie Moore – 20)

Anne: 30 – (oops, I forgot who Anne had – 30)

Nathaniel: – 10 – (Christopher Lee – 10)

Erika: 10 – (Jayne Meadows – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

The man who made dinosaurs come to life and who made Gandhi a household name, Richard Attenborough, died at the spry age of 90.

OK, I am now being told that Gandhi more or less made himself a household name…

Starting out as a stage actor, Attenborough had his big break when he starred in “The Great Escape.”  He eventually went on to directing.

Attenborough brought the film “Gandhi” to fruition after a 20-year battle to raise money and interest often reluctant Hollywood producers, one of whom famously predicted that there would be no audience for “a little brown man in a sheet

Attenborough, trying desperately to make this look work.

Attenborough, trying desperately to make this look work.

carrying a beanstalk.”  Gotta love how Hollywood makes decisions.  This is why Michael Bay is so rich.

Richie mortgaged his house in a London suburb, sold works of art and, as he put it, spent “so much money I couldn’t pay the gas bill,” to make the film.  There were 430 speaking parts and over 300,000 extras for Gandhi’s funeral. No one expected the movie to recoup its $22 million cost, but it wound up earning 20 times that amount.  Take that, racist, narrow-minded Hollywood producers.

He followed up his directorial triumph by directing “A Chorus Line.”  Sure, he could get money for that piece of crap, but to make a movie about an Indian he had to mortgage his own house.  This is why Michael Bay is so rich.

Attenborough was credited with inspiring Diana, Princess of Wales, whom he coached in public speaking at Prince Charles’s urging, to start her campaign against landmines.  She should have expanded her campaign to other bombs.  It might have kept him from directing “Chaplain.”  

But Attenborough will be remembered most for playing John Hammond in the movie “Jurassic Park.”  By extracting dinosaur DNA from a mosquito trapped in amber, he was able to bring dinosaurs back to life.  He had a swanky park where people could go see these creatures (that still look more realistic than anything in “Avatar”).  His plan would have worked too… but he had to hire Newman…. Newman!  Didn’t he ever watch “Seinfeld?”

This hit goes to Joanne!  With 110 points, she is now a mere 80 points behind the leader.  If only she had some Cardinals up her sleeve…. hell, if only I had some Cardinals up my sleeve.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 190 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60, Peaches Geldof – 80, Rubin “The Hurricane” Carter – 30)

“Imaginary” Steve (aka: The Arch-Bishop): 150 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20, Emmanuel III Delly – 20, Marco (Polo!) Cé – 20, Cardinal Simon Lourdusamy – 10, Cardinal Bernard Agre – 20, Cardinal Francesco Marchisano – 20, Cardinal Edmund Szoka – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus: – 140 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10, Jack Ramsay – 20, Don Zimmer – 20, Chuck Noll – 20, Don Pardo – 10)

Joanne: 110 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20, Connie Marrero – 0, Al Feldstein – 20, Casey Kasem – 20, Eli Wallach – 10, Richard Attenborough – 10)

Starving Writer: – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna: 90 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20, Marc Platt – 0, Dick Smith – 10)

SPMI: 90 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10, Dave “Sick-motehrfucker” Herman – 30, Terry Richards – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 80 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10, Dick Ayers – 10, Robin Williams – 40)

The Girl on Fire: 70 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20, James Brady – 30)

Babysitter: 70 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20, Mickey Rooney – 10, Ann B. Davis! – 20, Stephanie Kwolek – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House): – 60 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. – 10, Gary Becker – 20)

Dick in Town: 50 (Hiroo Onoda – 10, Dick “Dickie” Jones – 20, Elaine Stritch – 20)

Team Sushi: – 50 (Bob Hoskins – 30, Maya Angelou – 20)

Nora the Explorer: 30 (Jeremiah Denton – 20, Ruby Dee – 10)

Nikki: 20 (Lauren Bacall – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

 

Actor Marcel Emile Gaston LePlat, Americanized into Marc Platt (just like Freedom Fries….), died at the not-so-spry age of 100.

Born to French immigrants in California, Platt felt great pressure from his father to run the family business.  But he didn’t want to be more than just a beret-wearing, baguette-totin’ mime.  He wanted to dance, Dance, DANCE!

Platt landed a role in the original closeted-gay cowboy movie.  He was one of the seven brothers for the seven brides in “Stagecoach.”

He then landed a small part in the original gay-cowboy movie, “Oklahoma!,” which would later inspire such classics as “Brokeback Mountain,” “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” and “The Wild Bunch.”

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I don’t know what’s manlier, the kerchief or the cow-patterned chaps.

After he stopped dancing, he ran the Radio City Music Hall ballet for several years.  He was known for his little pep talk at the beginning of the year:  “You want fame?  Well, fame costs.  And right here is where you start paying… in sweat.”  That scared ‘em every time.

He also appeared in an episode of “Sky King,” because he apparently had a life-long dream to get his name on a Trivial Pursuit card.

This hit goes to: Gianna!  Gianna gets a whopping zero points for this hit, making it the second biggest hit so far this week!

Gianna moves from second place into second place, trailing by the same amount as before.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Starving Writer – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna 80 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20, Marc Platt – 0)

Jami: 80 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60)

Tailgating with Jesus – 60 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Babysitter: 40 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20, Mickey Rooney – 10 )

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

“Imaginary” Steve: 30 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

Dora the Explorer: 20 (Jeremiah Denton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)

Mickey Rooney, diminutive, (but not a midget) actor died at the spry age of 93.

Mickey Rooney’s career lasted for over 80 years, spanning 9 decades.  He made over 300 movies… according to my father-in-law… who’s had some wine… But his IMDb page is half of the internet.

Some of his greatest hits were “Phantom of the Megaplex,” “Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker,” “The Carebears Movie,”  and who can forget “Evil Roy Slade.”

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This man slept with at least eight women.

He made a series of movies as Andy Hardy during the depression, and his accessible charm helped make him the greatest box office draw in Hollywood.  Stop and think about that: Mickey Rooney.  He was basically, the Will Smith of his day.

His first gig in show business came at the age of two when he wore a mini tuxedo in his parent’s vaudeville show.  He said that the lights on the stage felt like his “mother’s womb,” and he fell in love with show business.  Suddenly, his entire career seems just fucking creepy.   Ewww…

Rooney was also always racially sensitive in his movies.  Whenever his characters put on a minstrel show, he always felt a responsibility to play a “realistic darkie,” when he put on the blackface.

He will always be remembered for his groundbreaking role in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” where he played Mr. Yunioshi.  “I really wanted to capture the modern Chink.  And I think Mr. Yunioshi made the Slant-Eye community proud.”  Yeah, The Asian community loved it every time he called Holly Golightly, “Miss Gorightry!”  And the fake teeth added a touch of class too.

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  He’s now caught in a tie with your’s truly.  But do not fret, I will take him down!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Starving Writer – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna 80 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20)

Jami: 80 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60)

Tailgating with Jesus – 60 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Babysitter: 40 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20, Mickey Rooney – 10 )

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

“Imaginary” Steve: 30 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

Dora the Explorer: 20 (Jeremiah Denton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)