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Former car thief, armed robber beautician and undisputable rock and roll legend, Chuck Berry died at the spry age of 90.

In his brash youth, Berry spent three years in reform school after a spree of car thefts and armed robbery.

When he was 18, he robbed three shops and then had to steal a getaway car.  Berry’s account in his autobiography is that his car broke down and he flagged down a passing car and stole it at gunpoint with a nonfunctional pistol.

Now, I do not endorse crime or violence on any level.  But how bad-ass was he!?!?  Damn!  Four major crimes in one day at the spry age of 18!

He straightened himself out and received a degree in hairdressing and cosmetology and worked for a time as a beautician.

OK, a little less bad-ass.

By the early 1950s, he was playing guitar and singing blues, pop standards and suffering through an occasional country tune with local combos.

berry

If it walks like a duck….

On Saturday, November 12th, 1955, Chuck’s life would change forever when he received that fateful call from his cousin: Marvin.

Marvin and his band, The Starlighters, were playing an “Enchantment Under the Sea” high school dance in Hill Valley, California.  A fill-in guitar player with early onset Parkinson’s started playing a sound that no one had heard before.  Marvin called Chuck and rock’n’roll history was born.

You could say that Chuck Berry’s influence on music was “Hyuge,” or “Tremendous.”  But you would sound like an orange idiot.

Truth is, his influence is immeasurable.  John Lennon would sneak a radio into his room so that he could pick up Chuck Berry being played from a German radio station without his Aunt Mimi finding out.

Every single rock and roll act for the next decade had been directly influenced by Berry.

Berry rocked so much harder than Coldplay could even imagine.  And don’t get me started on how much better he was than Nickelback.  Because, truthfully, aren’t we all better than Nickelback?

Johnny B. Goode,” “Maybellene,” “Roll Over Beethoven,” “Rock and Roll Music,” “Sweet Little Sixteen.”  If you do not know these songs, you need to click these links and listen to them.

Unfortunately, Chuck Berry eventually turned to television and created such crap as “The Gong Show” and “The Newlywed Game.”

This hit goes to: Mary!  Mary gets on the board with a strong 10 points: this is where she makes her move!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Josh: 100 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60)

Wes: 90 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 50 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20 )

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)

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In a shocking move to protest a Trump presidency, Leonard Cohen died at the spry age of 82.

Saying that Leonard Cohen was an accomplished writer is like saying that space is kinda big.  It’s like saying that country music is merely bad.  It’s like saying that duct tape fixes a few things here and there.

Cohen wasn’t just a legendary musician, he also wrote books of poetry and two novels.  His 1st novel The Favourite Game was an autobiographical bildungsroman.  And now you have to look up that word too.

More than 2,000 recordings of his songs have been made by acts like Judy Collins, U2, Aretha Franklin, R.E.M., Jeff Buckley, Trisha Yearwood and Elton John.  “Bird on a Wire” went on to be recorded by performers including Joe Cocker, Aaron Neville, Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson and was later made into a movie starring Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn.

He will likely be known for his classic song “Hallelujah.”  This song is as incredible as it is

cohen

Oh, and he fucking rocked a fedora.

overused.  It was relatively obscure song at first.  Only people who liked good music knew it.  Then it was in “Shrek.”

Next thing you know, the song then appeared in “The West Wing,” “Crossing Jordan,” “Without a Trace,” “The O.C., House,” “Dirt,” “Criminal Minds,” “ER,” “Third Watch,” “Ugly Betty,” “LAX,” “ NCIS,” “Justiça,” “Feast of Love,” “The Edukators,” “Vinterkyss,” “Sugar,” “L’Audition,” “Kiss of Winter,” “Saint Ralph,” “Answer Me,” “Lord of War” and “Watchmen.”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a great song.  But we just need to come up with a new musical cue, people.

He also wrote the song “Everybody Knows.”  I’ve been thinking about this song a lot in the past 48 hours.  Let’s take a quick look at some of the lyrics, shall we?  

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded / Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed  [rolls the dice, casts a vote… Potato/spud]

Everybody knows the war is over / Everybody knows the good guys lost  [God, this is depressing]

Everybody knows the fight was fixed / The poor stay poor, the rich get rich [Tru dat, right, Bernie?]

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking / Everybody knows that the captain lied [Oh, God…]

Everybody got this broken feeling / Like their father or their dog just died [sums up how we all feel perfectly.]

Did he write this song yesterday?  This is like a fucking lyrical photograph of the entire nation right at this moment!

Hold on a minute, I need to go slit my wrists….

While I bleed out, I should inform you that this hit goes to: Gianna!  Yes, she gets the very 1st hit of the year that I know of!  She bursts out of the gates with a whopping 20 points!  It may not seem like much, but it’s 20 more than you have!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Like I said: the song’s still fucking awesome.

Singer Kay Starr died at the spry age of 94.

Starr will be remembered for the two number one hits, “Wheel of Fortune,” about a plucky game show host and is non-aging partner and “The Rock And Roll Waltz,” which is less rock and roll and more like the song playing in a Martin Scorsese scene set in the 50s.

Kay became a local radio sensation at age seven and eventually had her own 15-minute show twice a week, earning $3 a performance.  Child labor laws aside, $3 was a hell of a sum of money in the Depression.  [You capitalize Depression when talking about the economic downturn of the 30s, right?]  That converts to a little over $44 in pre-President-Trump dollars.  [Post-President-Trump dollars: it converts back to $3.00.  Vote next Tuesday!]

Her family moved to Memphis, TN.  This move depressed Kay because there was no music scene in Memphis.  Historically, Memphis has been a musical vacuum that can only be

kay-starr

Really?  Me?  I died?

compared to Nashville.  Now, Schenectady!  That was a swingin’ place.  

Despite the lack of a music scene in town, she still managed to keep up gigs and performing on the radio.  At 15, she was chosen to sing with the Joe Venuti orchestra.  Not to be anti-Italian, but there is no way that a bandleader named Venuti was 100% legit.  That’s like saying that a guy named McFeeley is sober.

In order to escape the iron fist of Don Vanuti, she moved to Los Angeles and signed with Wingy Manone’s band because she always wanted to work with someone named “Wingy.”  Honestly, who wouldn’t.  I’m knida hopin’ that HR puts out an ad looking to hire anyone based on the name “Wingy.”

As a bonus, Manone was also the inventor of the chicken wing (hence, the name), so Kay was lousy with wings!  Unfortunately, Buffalo sauce would not be invented for another twenty years.

One of her biggest hits was her version of “(Everybody’s Waitin’ For) The Man with the Bag”, a Christmas song that quickly became a holiday favorite.  This song is awesome and if you do not own a copy, her’s is frickin’ sweet.

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  It’s his first hit this year!  [Really?  Man, he sucks.]  This gives him a firm 10 points, a mere 210 points behind the leader.  Will his list get massacred in the next day and a half?  If so, I’ll have to investigate before awarding points….

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Draft night is TOMORROW!  So exciting!

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 220 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20, Addie Fausett – 100)

Jami: 210 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20, Chris Sizemore – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 120 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Gianna: 110 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20, Herschell Gordon Lewis – 20, Pete Burns – 50)

Harmony: 100 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20, Arnold Palmer – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Imaginary Steve: 60 – (King Bhumibol Adulyadej – 20, 谢家麟 – 10, 劉令名 – 30)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Babysitter: 10 – (Kay Starr – 10)

Buckwheat Zydeco, a man named after the music he played… or is it the other way around…., and proved that the accordion isn’t just for white people, died at the spry age of 68.

For those not familiar with Zydeco music, it’s that upbeat, New Orleans, French Creole sound with accordions and washboards that sounds fantastic.

For the first two and a half minutes.

Then it grates on you.  

The name Zydeco comes from a French phrase that translates to “the snap beans aren’t salty.”  No, really.   [Buckwheat The-Snap-Beans-Aren’t-Salty]

While Zydeco music is mostly a local, Louisiana phenomenon, Buckwheat broke out with a little (a very little) mainstream success.  Most say that he traded on this “Little Rascals” fame.

He became known for his classic covers like, “Wookin’ Pa Nub,” and “Fee Tines a Naday.”

buckwheat

He was Oh-Tay!

While he never set the charts on fire (see: great-for-2.5-minutes comment above) he became an internationally respected musician.  He opened for Clapton, he recorded with Keith Richards, Robert Plant, Willie Nelson, Mavis Staples, Paul Simon, and the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies.

There were more on the list, but I either didn’t care about them or, worse, they were country acts.

Buckwheat was shot in front of 30 Rockefeller Plaza during the recording of Saturday Night Live in footage that will surely become iconic in the pop-culture lexicon.

This hit goes to: Joanne!  She breaks the triple-digit mark and is tied with me in 3rd place!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS: Draft night is 11/5 – a mere 40 days away!

Current Standings:

Jami: 190 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Harmony: 80 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

Professional coattail rider, Frank Sinatra, Jr. died at the spry age of 72.

Sinatra was on his “Sinatra Sings Sinatra” (see coattail comment above) tour and was scheduled to perform at the Peabody Auditorium, which seats a whopping 2,500 people, when he had suddenly “taken ill.”  This sadded the 500 people planning on attending the show.

To give an idea of how crappy you have to be to play this venue: George Thororgood played there on Thursday.  (“Gee, I sure hope he plays ‘Bad to the Bone!’” said the most annoying person on the fucking planet.)

Frank Jr hardly saw his father growing up.  Frank Sr. was too busy on the road performing, making movies, hanging out with the Rat Pack, drinking Jack Daniels out of a hooker’s shoe, establishing mob ties and trying to get in good with the Kennedys.

Sinatra was a 19-year-old coattail rider on tour when he was kidnapped in 1963.

Holy shitsnacks!  His ass got kidnapped?  

Frank Jr

If his father was Frank Sinatra, then his mother was clearly Don Rickles.

After three days, two of the men collected a $240,000 ransom paid by his father, while the other abductor let the son free.

Damn!  This is some heavy shit!  How does one deal with that kind of trauma.  I guess one would have to sing, sing SING!

When the kidnappers were caught, they claimed that the kidnapping was all a set-up to give Sinatra, Jr. publicity.

Oh… well, that makes sense.  Living in your father’s shadow?  Be a victim of crime!  It worked for the Lindbergh baby.  […Too soon?]

His sister, Nancy Sinatra released a statement that said, “my brother was made for dying and that’s just what he did.”

This hit goes to Harmony!  She continues her rookie streak and is now tied for second place with Joanne at 60 points!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 100 – (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Joanne: 60 (Joey Feek – 60)

The Girl on Fire: 60 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Marvin Minsky – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

Showbiz manager and anorexia fettishist, René Angélil, died at the spry age of 73.

Angélil, or as it says on his business cards, “Celine Dion’s Husband,” had been battling cancer… More cancer!?! Jesus?  First Bowie, then Rickman now this… Well, he’s really not in the same class as Bowie or Rickman.  Maybe if Crazy Eddie died recently, he could be in that class.  [His funerals are insane!]

Angélil was born in Quebec (which automatically makes him one of the world’s worst drivers) a full 26 years before Celine was born.

In the 60’s he was part of and managed several pop groups from that hot Montreal sound that no one has ever talked about.  Ever.

In 1994 he married his third wife, the aforementioned Celine Dion, whom he had first met when she was 12.  OK, this just went from a May-December romance to just fuckin’ creepy.  Twelve?  You meet a twelve year old girl and marry her when she’s 26?  God, that’s just gross.

In 1990, he mortgaged his own home to produce Celine’s first album.  The music industry

Angelil.jpg

Dirty Ol’ Bastard.

is still reeling from this travesty.

Dion soon became one of the most popular singers in the world.  Kind of like the Thomas Kinkade of music.  She put out awful crap and people ate it up like it was quality goods.

Angélil was diagnosed with cancer something like 90 years ago.  At one point Celine took a hiatus from “entertainment” to spend time with her family and care for her old, decrepit husband.  Lamentably, this only lasted for three years.

She now has a regular gig in Las Vegas… because when you suck, you get a Vegas show.  Man, we’re a long way from the Rat Pack.  Thanks a lot, Elvis.

This hit goes to: The Girl on Fire!  Mary has been dutifully picking and holding over Angélil for something like 90 years now.  Her due diligence finally paid off!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, still continues to live.  

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 80 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 70- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 40 – (Natalie Cole – 40)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30)

 

The King is dead.  Long live the blues.

Blues great and diabetes equipment salesman, B. B. King, died at the spry age of 89.

BB (which stands for Brad Barrett… his mother was a W. A. S. P.)  rose up from a cotton plantation near the town of Itta Bena, Mississippi (“Is this the road to Itta Bena?”) and became the biggest blues star in history, recording songs like “The Thrill is Gone” and “I Like to Live the Love.”

Early in his career a brawl broke out at one of his shows between two men and caused a fire. BB evacuated along with the

King controversially gave the black-power salute when he received his gold medal in the Olympics... I think.

King controversially gave the black-power salute when he received his gold medal in the Olympics… I think.

rest of the crowd but went back to retrieve his guitar. The two men, who died in the blaze, were fighting over a woman named Lucille. He named the guitar Lucille as a reminder not to fight over women or run into any more burning buildings… he learned a little something about relationships that day… and a little something about himself.

Many of King’s early recordings were produced by Sam Phillips, who later founded Sun Records (which never really went anywhere after that).

King was inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Official Rhythm & Blues Music Hall of Fame.. and I’m pretty sure he made it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Basketball Hall of Fame and the National Mining Hall of Fame.

King was in an ad campaign for  a diabetes blood glucose monitoring device called OneTouch Ultra, describing how blue he feels from diabetes.  Which was new to me.  I always thought that Diabetes was THE fun-time sugar fantasy diseas to get!

King is survived by kd lang, CC Deville, OJ Simpson, KC Jones, A. Whitney Brown, F. Murray Abraham, DD Cohen, T Boone Pickens and JK Rowling,

He will be buried between EB White and JRR Tolkien, which is near where G. Gordon Liddy, ee cummings, TS Eliot and HP Lovecraft are buried.

This hit goes to:  Nikki!  This bumps Nikki up to 4th place with 80 points!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 150 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90)

Tailgating with Jesus: 120 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20)

Jami: 120 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50)

Nikki: 80 – (Stuart Scott – 60, BB King – 20)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Gianna: 70 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 60 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10, Giovanni Canestri – 10)

Nora the Explorer: 50 – (James Best – 20, Ben E. King – 30)

Babysitter: 50 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30)

The Girl on Fire: 40 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Anne: 30 – ()

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

Erika: 10 – (Jayne Meadows – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

Basketball player, Lauren Hill, died from her brain tumor at the very spry age of 19.

In 1994, Lauren Hill joined the Fugees who became known for their genre blending, particularly of reggae, rock and soul, which was first experimented on their debut album, Blunted on Reality, released in 1994.

In 1997, Hill struck out on her own with a solo album.  She said that she wanted to “write songs that lyrically move me and have the integrity of reggae and the knock of hip-hop and the instrumentation of classic soul.”

I’m waiting for the part about basketball…. damn you Wikipedia.

In the run-up to the 1999 Grammy Awards, Hill became the first woman to be nominated in ten categories in a single year.  Nobody cared about this… and they still don’t.  I mean, it’s the frickin’ Grammys.

During 2000, Hill dropped out of the public eye. The pressures of fame began to overwhelm her.  (Is this where she starts

Lauren Hill, shown here not playing basketball.

Lauren Hill, shown here not playing basketball.

playing basketball?)

In July 2001, while pregnant with her third child, Hill… woah, wait… hold up here…. that would mean that she was four years old and she had three kids?  I’m calling bullshit on Wikipedia!  I mean, I know that it’s not the most reliable site but come on, that’s not even biologically possible!

Now I skipped ahead: NO mention of  basketball at all.  What the hell?  Wikipedia is killing me softly over here.

This hit goes to: Pirate!  Yes, Pirate was mean spirited enough to pick a 19 year-old with a brain tumor and I was mean spirited enough to allow it.  It’s a big fat 90 points!

This 90 points puts her in the lead!  Well, of course it would.

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 150 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90)

Tailgating with Jesus: 120 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20)

Jami: 120 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Gianna: 70 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70)

Nikki: 60 – (Stuart Scott – 60)

Babysitter: 50 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 40 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Anne: 30 – ()

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 20 – (Mario Cuomo – 20)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

Singer Joe Cocker is no longer Feelin’ Alright.  He died of lung cancer today at the spry age of 70.

Cocker’s cover of The Beatles’ “With A Little Help from My Friends” was used as the theme song to the popular TV show, “The Wonder Years.”  But it was more than a theme song.  It was a sign that the innocent times that we lived in were changing.  Sitting in front of that TV with my Dad meant so much more than just prime-time viewing.  It was an experience.  It was a generation learning to grow.  I knew right there and then that things would never be the same with us… or with the world.

But what can I say about Joe Cocker that John Belushi couldn’t with his impression:

In 1972, the AKC gave Cocker the honor of having a Spaniel breed named after him.  Of course, the Joe Cocker Spaniel was wildly unpopular due to it’s sudden spastic body movements, sloppy appearance and tendency toward alcoholism.

Police started using them for their natural talents as drug sniffing dogs.  The program was scratched because, while the

Cocker, shown here contemplating the tiny, tiny chance of actually getting lung cancer from these things.

Cocker, shown here contemplating the tiny, tiny chance of actually getting lung cancer from these things.

dogs found contraband easily, they always insisted on ingesting everything they found.

The only remaining Joe Cocker Spaniel lives at Keith Richard’s house, calmly waiting for him to die.

This hit goes to: Anne!  She gets on the board on her Birthday!  See, Joe Cocker knew it was her birthday today.  He wracked his brains for the perfect gift.  Finally it hit him: succumb to lung cancer!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 70 – (Diem Brown)

Anne: 30 – (Joe Cocker – 30)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

I-Steve (the Arch-Bishop!): 20 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus: 20 – (Jean Béliveau – 20)

Mostly Mike: 10 – (Ralph H Baer – 10)

Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci died at the spry age of 96.

Bartolucci, Barto to his friends, was a Roman Catholic Cardinal.  Can you believe that?

Image

“Honestly, I don’t know what’s more bitchin’, is it this kick-ass hat or my long-ass train?”

But Barto was not just a cardinal.  He was also a prolific composer.  His work already published fills more than forty volumes and includes Masses, motets, madrigals, hymns, symphonic, organ, and chamber music, and above all a series of oratorios for soloists, chorus and orchestra. His three-act opera Brunelleschi is yet to be performed.

This really started to annoy his parishioners because they knew that five minutes into any sermon, he was going to say “Wrote a song ‘bout it.  Wanna hear it?  Here is goes…” then he would break out his old steel guitar and start caterwauling about the Sermon on the Mount.

Hm..  Who knew that that’s how you spell caterwauling?

In October of 2010, Pope Benedict (“Eggs” to his friends) announced Monsignor Bartolucci’s appointment to the College of Cardinals.  He was hoping to get into the University of Cardinals, but he choked on his SATs.

This hit goes to… welll, duh.  We all know that it’s “Imaginary” Steve.  I-Steve picked Barto in the 8th round to receive a collective groan from the crowd as we all angrily scratched him off of our lists.

I-Steve, of course, made Ghoul Pool history by submitting only 75 names and getting all 75.  He did this by picking the College of Cardinals.  Now, if you think that he’s going to hell for this, consider how many of these Cardinals knew about the Catholic church’s “Fun with Alter Boys” program.  Yeah, I think I-Steve’ll be just fine.

So Steve pulls into the lead with 10 points (as opposed to getting a hit and remaining at zero).

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

“Imaginary” Steve: 10 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10)

Joanne: 0 (Ace Parker – 0)