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Tag Archives: Racing

Journalist and auto racer, Denise McCluggage died at the spry age of 88.

No, that 1st name isn’t Dennis, it’s Denice.  I know, right?  I thought Danica Patrick was the first female auto racer.

McCluggage (an Irish name derived from the sound one makes when chugging a pint of Guinness Stout) faced certain challenges as a journalist covering racing in the fifties because skirts weren’t allowed to interview racers.  “Let ‘em talk to the racers wives in the kitchen while hubby was out racing, see.  That’s what a good dame would do, see,” said… um… Fifties McSportscaster…

So, she decided that the best way to report it was to do it.  Advice that would later be followed by the likes of the “Mayflower Madam” in the 80s and Amy Fisher in 2001.

So, she donned a polka-dot helmet (‘cuz, you know: chick) and got behind the wheel of some car with letters or numbers for it’s name… a M320, 250, LXR or a TX6 or some shit.   I don’t know… why can’t the whole racing world be like NASCAR,

McCluggage, shown here talking to some fucking slob who didn't even have the decency to wear a fucking shirt!

McCluggage, shown here talking to some fucking slob who didn’t even have the decency to wear a fucking shirt!

where they drive Ford Fusions and Toyota Camrys?

Racing was perhaps the most macho of the sports, and the men she competed with never quite knew how to handle Denise McCluggage. They were always telling her to get coffee for the pit crew and assuming that she would do all the secretarial work.

“She was a babe,” long-term auto journalist Don Vorderman once recalled.  Meh, she was OK.

She raced with such greats as Dan Gurney, Phil Hill, Brock Yates, Briggs Cunningham, Clive Pachuk, Carroll Shelby, A.J. Foyt, Stirling Moss, two of which I have heard of… and one which I made up.  (Can you guess which one?)

After a while the good old boys didn’t seem to mind having the pretty little gal around.  Even with the girly helmet.

Then she grew old.  And died.

This hit goes to: Mary!  I don’t know who’s ass Mary pulled this pick out of, but the reach was worth it because she gets another 20 points!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 150 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90)

Tailgating with Jesus: 120 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20)

Jami: 120 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Gianna: 70 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 60 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10, Giovanni Canestri – 10)

Nikki: 60 – (Stuart Scott – 60)

Nora the Explorer: 50 – (James Best – 20, Ben E. King – 30)

Babysitter: 50 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30)

The Girl on Fire: 40 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Anne: 30 – ()

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

Erika: 10 – (Jayne Meadows – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

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Winston Cup Driver (who never one a Winston Cup race), Dick Trickle Died of an apparent suicide.

In an emotional interview, his wife Darlene wept openly, tears dripping down, saying, “If he just went by ‘Richard,’ he’d still be alive today…”

Image

This card not only proves that there was someone by the name of Dick Trickle, but the autograph shows that he actually accepted that name.

NH Congressman, Dick Swett, released a statement today that read, simply, “I feel his pain.”

Dick Trickle was a fan favorite despite his losing ways.  But who wouldn’t root for a guy named Dick Trickle?  Or Dick Dribble, Dick Leak, Dick Stream, Dick Ooze… OK, no one would root for Dick Ooze.

When he was Eight-years-old, Dick Trickle was playing tag with his cousin Verlon (there’s a hayseed name if I ever heard one) on the rafters in a house under construction when he fell two floors to the basement and broke his hip.  Ever since then, he could only pee in little drops.

Dick Trickle was also known for his partying.  On the night before a race, he would party all night and sleep for only one hour.  Take that Bode Miller.  Although, this does explain his lack of wins.

“When you were with Dick Trickle, you were always gonna laugh!” stated some slack-jawed NASCAR garage grunt.  “Yup, Dick Trickle would always make you laugh ‘till you peed.”  He added through three rotted teeth, “Just a little bit.”

Dick Trickle was also a huge Halloween fan.  “Every year, I would do my house up all fancy-like and have the kids go through the haunted house,” Dick Trickle said in an interview in… oh, we’ll say… 1992.  “I would always be crouched behind a table, dressed as a zombie.  And just as the kids got their candy, I would jump up and scream at ‘em!  Ha ha, I just loved scarin’ the piss outta those little tykes.”

When asked what kind of underwear Trickle preferred, boxers or briefs, he thoughtfully replied, “that depends.”

“I remember when I first met Dick Trickle,” said an adoring fan on his blog, entitled Johnson Drivel, “I was so nervous, I jus’ ’bout peed my pants.”

OK, that’s all I got… wait, wait:

ImageHe appeared on a Sesame Street episode that was brought to you by P!

This hit goes to: ME!  Yes, your illustrious Ghoul Pool Administrator has been picking Dick Trickle for years now!  Thank God the New Dick in Town didn’t steal him!

I gotta say, when I found out about this hit, I was so excited… I peed a little.

Yes, I now have 40 points!  Which is about 30 more points than I expected this year… despite having Nancy Reagan, Abe Vigoda, Joe Franklin, Chick Yeager, Sid Caesar and Peter O’Toole on my list.  (Seriously, are they X-Men or something?)

I pull ahead of former Ghoul Pool juggernaut, “Imaginary” Steve (I-Steve, what happened?) and into… well something place.  I don’t fell like counting that high right now.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Dawn-n-Mike – 140 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10,Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30, Hugo Chavez – 50, Frank Thornton – 10 – George Jones – 20)

Babysitter – 120 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10, Margaret Thatcher – 20, Chi Cheng – 60, Pat Summerall – 20)

The New Dick in Town – 120 – (Jack Klugman – 10, Mindy McCready – 70, Jonathan Winters – 20, Jeanne Cooper – 20)

Joanne – 80 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20, C. Everett Koop – 10, Moon Mullen – 10, Virgil Trucks – 10, Dr. Joyce Brothers – 20)

Gianna – 80 – (Lucille Bliss – 10, Bonnie Franklin – 40, E. L. Konigsburg – 20, Deanna Durbin – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus – 70 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20, Jerry Buss – 20, Gus Triandos – 20)

Council of Geeks – 50 (Richard Griffiths – 40, Ray Harryhausen – 10)

Jami – 50 – (Larry Hagman – 20, Annette Funicello – 30)

The Girl on Fire – 50 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20, Milo O’Shea – 20)

Team Sushi – 50 – (Conrad Bain – 20, Roger Ebert – 30)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 40 – (Patty Andrews – 10, Dick Trickle – 30)

“Imaginary” Steve – 20 (Al Neuharth – 20)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)