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Tag Archives: Rhinestone Cowboy

Country “singer” who fused country “music” with pop music (thanks a lot for that, asshole), Glen Campbell died at the spry age of 81.

Campbell died of Alzheimer’s disease: the disease that you need to be constantly reminded that you have.

Named after soup, Campbell was born in Arkansas, to a sharecropping family. “We used to watch TV by candlelight,” Campbell told Rolling Stone in 2011.  Apparently people in Arkansas are so dumb, they do not realize that televisions emit their own light.  That’s why they’re 41st in education!

With hits like “Rhinestone Cowboy,” “Wichita Lineman” and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix,” he sold over 45 million records.  But let’s face it: he was still just a country “music” singer.  So, he lowered the bar for intelligence for five decades.  Again, thanks a lot, pal.

In 1968, he outsold The Beatles.

Campbell

Campbell made the unforgivable faux pas by criticizing Stevie Wonder’s playing by saying, “What the fuck, are you blind or something?”

Let’s take a look at that though, shall we?  The Beatles released one album that year: The Beatles (aka “The White Album” for those people who should already fucking know anyway).  That was released on November 22.  So, that means that they had 39 days (not even four scaramuccis) of album sales for a new album.  Their previous album, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, was released in June of the previous year.  So it was on the market for over six months when 1968 rolled around.

Glen Campbell, while an admittedly popular “singer,” released FIVE-fucking-albums in 1968!  So, all he really did was saturate the damn market.  Outsold The Beatles… fuck you, Campbell!

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  He claws his way up to 30 points!  A mere 140 points behind the leader (which is me!)!

Erin remains at zero points.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Babysitter: 30 – (June Foray – 10 – Glen Campbell – 20)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)