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Tag Archives: south africa

South African bad-ass Joost van der Westhuizen died at the spry age of 45.  [45!?!?! Shit!  I hope Babysitter didn’t have him!]

Why was he a bad-ass?  Let’s start with the fact that he was an internationally renowned [yes, he went through the painful nouning process] rugby player.  Frankly, you could start AND end with that.

Have you ever played rugby?  No you haven’t.  Neither have I.  You know why?  We’re fucking pussies, that’s why!  We can act all high and mighty with our American Football.  With our helmets and our shoulderpads.

You know what rugby doesn’t have?  Helmets.  You know what else it doesn’t have?  Mother-fucking shoulder pads!

The only protection you need in rugby is the ability of kicking the crap out of the other guy before he kicks the crap outta you.

Another reason he was bad-ass?   He was diagnosed with MND (I’m assuming a disease with long words that I don’t understand… Multitudinous Narciratic Disease?) in 2011, he was given just a couple of years to live (because MND is some serious shit).

He said, “fuck that,” and lived for another six years!  And in that time, he raised money

Joost

Joost playing a round of “Who’s thumb is that?”

to fight MND.  (Mandible Neurosis Disease?)

Another reason he was a bad-ass?  Van der Westhuizen won 89 caps for the Springboks scoring scored an astonishing 38 tries!  Ok, I really have no idea what the hell that means.

Van Der Westhuizen redefined scrum half play!  Scrum whole play was undisturbed by his career.

This hit goes to:  Aw, crap!   It is Babysitter!  The sitter of babies gets 60 damn points for this one, putting him at 90 points.  Still not triple digits, but OK, I guess.

Erin remains at zero.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Babysitter: 90 – (June Foray – 10 – Glen Campbell – 20, Joost van der Westhuizen – 60)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

In his spare time, Mandela narrated a lot of movies.  I mean: A LOT of movies.

In his spare time, Mandela narrated a lot of movies. I mean: A LOT of movies.

He swam against the Apartheid?

He Apartheid one on?

Don’t just go with the Apartheid?

Come on, there’s gotta be a good tide/ Apartheid pun out there somewhere!

Nelson Mandela, a hero to all, a man who stood up against the oppression of Apartheid, died at the spry age of 95.

In 1948, South Africa the rule of government whose policy was known as Apartheid (which translates to “the state of being apart,” thank you, wikipedia) separated the whites from the blacks in a separate-but-not-even-trying-to-claim-the-“but-equal”-part kind of way.  Apartheid was the kind of government that men like Strom Thurmond really got behind.

The majority of citizens were stripped of their rights only for the fact that they were born black.  This government lasted until the nineties.  THE NINTIES!

The South African government arrested Mandela in 1962 for inciting workers’ strikes.  In the US, the worst that can happen to you for that is you lose your job at Wal-Mart.  And even that action is illegal.

Nelson spent many a joyous day breaking rocks, going partially blind working in a lime quarry, reveling in his two visitors and two letters per year, chilling out in solitary confinement, and contracting tuberculosis from his damp living quarters.  Yup, he was living the sweet life on the government dime.

Now, let’s contrast this with my suffering, which consists of a house that won’t sell, toothpaste goobies in the bathroom sink and not having my own Christmas tree.  So… why don’t I just shut the fuck up, then?

When Mandela was released and Apartheid fell, he was elected President.  He lead his nation with peace and diplomacy while extending electricity and water access to millions of citizens.

I wrote a cool macro at work that formats my reports for me.

This hit goes to: Joanne!  And while I know that Joanne does not relish the death of Nelson Mandela, I am sure she’s glad to be tied for first place… with ten points.

As a matter of fact, this hit makes Joanne the second person in Ghoul Pool history to have two hits and only ten points.

Happy pooling,
SPMI

Current Standings:

Joanne: 10 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House ) – 10 (Frederick Sanger – 10)

“Imaginary” Steve: 10 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10)