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Tag Archives: television

Wayne Rogers, who played Trapper John in the TV show M*A*S*H, died at the spry age of 82.

Trapper John and his closeted lover, Hawkeye Pierce faced war the way every man should: with Martinis.

At one point, Trapper reaches out as though he’s checking for rain and says, “Hmm, feels like it’s going to Martini.”  Heh heh.  I gotta remember that one.  And speaking of which… I got me a drink to make…

Rogers was born in Alabama and struggled with illiteracy all his life. (I’m making the assumption here that Alabamian = illiterate.  Not a far stretch, really.)

Rogers played a role in Odds Against Tomorrow which was nominated for a Golden Globe Award in 1960 as Best Film Promoting International Understanding.  I’m sorry… that’s a thing?  So, you just make a movie that says, “Hey, man, Albanians are A-OK.” and you can get a Golden Globe?  That’s just a fucked up award category.

Rogers was only on M*A*S*H for three years because he was a whiny little

Wayne Rogers.jpg

Now that’s how you fight the commies: three olives at a time!

bitch about Hawkeye getting more attention.  

When the writers took the liberty of making Hawkeye a thoracic surgeon in the episode “Dear Dad” even though Trapper was the unit’s only thoracic surgeon in the movie and the novel (both of which suck in comparison to the show), Rogers felt Trapper was stripped of his credentials.

Boo-friggin’-hoo.  My fake doctor isn’t the fake big man on fake campus.  Get over it, Wayne.

Apparently he didn’t.  Nor did he have the balls to do the “Trapper John’s plane … was shot down … over the Sea of Japan. It spun in … there were no survivors,” send-off.  Nooo… he wanted a crappy spin-off where he lived in a camper in a hospital parking lot.

In his later years, he continued in TV comedy as a regular panel member on the Fox News Channel stock investment television program Cashin’ In.  Yeah, that’s hard journalism.  “Feels like the market is gonna Martini.”

This hit goes to: The Girl on Fire!  Mary gets on the board with 20 points.  (Bean knows how you feel.)

Nancy Reagan, somehow, still continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 70- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70)

Jami: 60 – (Scott Weiland  -60)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 40 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

The Girl on Fire: 20 (Wayne Rogers – 20)

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Al Molinaro, the stunning beefcake who played lovable cook Al Delvecchio in the classic sitcom “Joanie Loves Chachi,” dies at the spry age of 96.

I sit here, absolutely amazed that spellcheck recognizes “Chachi.”  Amazeballs.  Is “amazeballs” still a thing?  Spellcheck says it is.

The hunky Molinaro became financially independent with realty speculation in southern California.  Once he was rich, he decided to pursue acting.  So, he didn’t have to work in some shitty coffee shop while handing out headshots to pay the bills before he made it big.

After a few small roles on shows like “Bewitched,” and “Get Smart,” this dreamboat landed the role as Murray the cop in the sitcom “The Odd Couple.”  After that, he was a natural to replace Pat Morita (who left to teach some dumb kid karate) in

The Fonz got more chicks than this guy?  TV is bullshit.

The Fonz got more chicks than this guy? TV is bullshit.

“Happy Days.”

He played Al Delveccio, owner and cook of Arnold’s drive-in restaurant.  The show wasn’t much of a success.  It was only on for 11 seasons.  

It wasn’t until mega-star Erin Moran spun off into her own show, “Joanie Loves Chachi,” that they set the nation on fire with a rock-n-roll sitcom that featured performances from the starring couple!

Lamentably, the public’s cries for “More Molinaro” fell on deaf ears and this classic, groundbreaking sit-com opus died after a mere two seasons.

Since then, Molinaro turned to booze, heroin and episodes of “My Little Pony,” for lack of such an outlet for his artistic expression.

This hot goes to: that bastard who can’t reschedule a simple rehearsal to make it to draft night!  Yes, Babysitter wastes a hit to get ahead of Nora the Explorer, who is too good for him anyway!

Nancy Reagan, somehow, continues to live.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS:Draft day is this Saturday!

Current Standings:

The Girl on Fire: 180 – (Mario Cuomo – 20, Richard Dysart – 20, Anne Meara – 20, Denise McCluggage – 20, Bobbi Christina Brown – 80, Frank Gifford – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 160 – (Sir Terry Pratchett – 66, Lauren Hill – 90, Maureen O’Hara – 10)

Jami: 140 – (Diem Brown – 70, Sam Simon – 50, Dick Van Patten – 20)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 130 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20, Roberto Tucci – 10, Giovanni Canestri – 10, Giacomo Biffi “the Vampire Slayer” – 20, William W. Baum – 20, László Paskai – 20, Cardinal Ján Chryzostom Korec – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus: 130 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20, Minnie Minoso -10, Al Rosen – 10, Chuck Bednarik – 20, Louise Suggs – 10)

Gianna: 110 – (Ahmad “Real” Givens – 70, Vincent Bugliosi – 10, Dean Jones – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Marion Barry – 30, Omar Sharif – 20, Dave Benton – 50)

Nikki: 90 – (Stuart Scott – 60, BB King – 20, Yogi Berra – 10)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 70 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20, Alex Rocco – 30, Milton Delugg – 10)

Anne: 70 – (Lesley Gore – 40, Joe Cocker – 30)

Babysitter: 60 – (Leonard Nimoy – 20, Gary Gahl – 30, Al Delvecchio – 10)

Nora the Explorer: 50 – (James Best – 20, Ben E. King – 30)

Mostly Mike: 40 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10, Dickie Moore – 20)

Anne: 30 – (oops, I forgot who Anne had – 30)

Nathaniel: – 10 – (Christopher Lee – 10)

Erika: 10 – (Jayne Meadows – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

Long-time talk show host and man credited with creating the modern late night talk show, Joe Franklin, died at the spry age of 88.

Franklin started his talk show in 1950.  He was a fixture on late-night radio and TV in New York, working at WJZ and WOR, and recently at the Bloomberg Radio Network.  Wait… recently?  He was still working?!?

I used to hold Franklin over every year… until I realized that I was in a room full of people who did not know who Joe Franklin was, nor did they care.  So, I started drafting him around round 15 or 20.

No longer will fellow draftees have to hear the story about me shaking his cold-dead hand.

Franklin shown in his office on a special episode of "Hoarders" that aired 15 years after Franklin's actual death.

Franklin shown in his office on a special episode of “Hoarders” that aired 15 years after Franklin’s actual death.

That being said: I met Joe Franklin at a Senior Citizen trade show in Atlantic City in 2000.  He was being lead around by a handler because the man was a shuffling corpse.  I shook his hand and it, literally, was a weak, cold, dead hand that I touched.  I swore that the man was decomposing there on the spot.  I half expected flesh to come sliding off as I took my hand away.

“The last two weeks were the first time he ever missed a broadcast in over 60 years” friend and former producer Steve Garrin said in a statement.  The last two weeks?  How is this physically possible?!?

Franklin is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Longest Running Continuous On-Air TV Talk Show Host, more than a decade longer than Johnny Carson’s legendary run.  Everyone around New York knew who this guy was.  They even did a SNL skit in him (which was great).  He was a New York legend.

“Joe went unexpectedly and passed away Saturday night,” Garrin said.  “Unexpectedly?”  Are you fucking kidding me??!?!  Joe Franklin died in the 90s and you are just realizing it now!

If you said” Joe passed away Saturday night.  He was unexpectedly 88,” THAT I can believe!

I can’t believe that he was only 88 years old!  That’s fucking crazy!  As a teenager Franklin followed Al Jolson around.  Al-fucking-JOLSON!  Come on!  And he was only 88?  Now that shit is what one might call unexpected.

According to his website, he interviewed over 300,000 people.  But even more impressive was his cameo in “Ghostbusters.”  God, that movie is great.

This hit brings me up to 30 points!  Still far from Jami’s 70, but within striking distance of Bean!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 70 – (Diem Brown)

Nikki: 60 – (Stuart Scott – 60)

Tailgating with Jesus: 40 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Anne: 30 – (Joe Cocker – 30)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 20 – (Mario Cuomo – 20)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 20 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)