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Tag Archives: The Beatles

Country “singer” who fused country “music” with pop music (thanks a lot for that, asshole), Glen Campbell died at the spry age of 81.

Campbell died of Alzheimer’s disease: the disease that you need to be constantly reminded that you have.

Named after soup, Campbell was born in Arkansas, to a sharecropping family. “We used to watch TV by candlelight,” Campbell told Rolling Stone in 2011.  Apparently people in Arkansas are so dumb, they do not realize that televisions emit their own light.  That’s why they’re 41st in education!

With hits like “Rhinestone Cowboy,” “Wichita Lineman” and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix,” he sold over 45 million records.  But let’s face it: he was still just a country “music” singer.  So, he lowered the bar for intelligence for five decades.  Again, thanks a lot, pal.

In 1968, he outsold The Beatles.


Campbell made the unforgivable faux pas by criticizing Stevie Wonder’s playing by saying, “What the fuck, are you blind or something?”

Let’s take a look at that though, shall we?  The Beatles released one album that year: The Beatles (aka “The White Album” for those people who should already fucking know anyway).  That was released on November 22.  So, that means that they had 39 days (not even four scaramuccis) of album sales for a new album.  Their previous album, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, was released in June of the previous year.  So it was on the market for over six months when 1968 rolled around.

Glen Campbell, while an admittedly popular “singer,” released FIVE-fucking-albums in 1968!  So, all he really did was saturate the damn market.  Outsold The Beatles… fuck you, Campbell!

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  He claws his way up to 30 points!  A mere 140 points behind the leader (which is me!)!

Erin remains at zero points.

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Babysitter: 30 – (June Foray – 10 – Glen Campbell – 20)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)


Folk singer Glenn Yarbrough died at the spry age of 86.  He was talentless.

In 1950, Yarbrough and his roommate Jac Holzman hosted an impromptu, all-night performance from singer Woody Guthrie in their dorm room.  (Man, was there a room that guy wouldn’t play?)  This prompted Yarbrough to buy his own guitar.  The rest, as they say, is history.  

But not Man-landed-on-the-moon history.  More like Spanish Inquisition or Irish potato famine history.

His big hit was 1965’s “Baby, the Rain Must Fall,” which is just a terrible song.  I mean, awful.  Not country music awful… but close.


Yarbrough’s attempt to open a dinosaur theme park famously failed.

A song that he recorded with The Limeliters, “Take My True Love by the Hand,” was featured in “Ozymandias,” from the fifth season of Breaking Bad.  This song is also terrible. 

Basically, just take the most annoying forms of folk music that you could imagine and you have this guy’s career.  He was the anti-Dylan in the folk scene.

In 1961, The Limeliters’ album “Tonight: In Person,” remained on the Billboard charts for 74 weeks.  Clearly the recording industry needed The Beatles to come in a get some good music on the charts.

Yarbrough was one of the first to record the song “House of the Rising Sun.”  Listening to his version is SO fucking painful.  I mean, it is “Revolution No. 9” painful.  God bless The Animals.

Yarbrough lost his ability to sing due to complications from throat surgery at the age of 80.  The surgery was so that he could continue to sing.  But I guess God thought the world had enough of that crap.

This hit goes to: Nathaniel!  He is no longer in last place!  He’s moved up to a tie for second-to-last place!

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 110 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Gianna: 40 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20)

This hit’s the greatest!

Boxing great Muhammad Ali went from the Thrilla’ in Manila to a chilla’ in the… morgue.

The cause of death was finally succumbing to a blow in the head by Joe Frazier that he received back in 1971.  See, you shouldn’t have talked so much smack about Smokin’ Joe.

Ali won a shit-load of fights, many of them historic.  He had 37 wins by knockout and only five losses… yadda yadda yadda.  Boxing is boring and it sucks.

But, to say that Muhammad Ali was the fucking man would be a very gross understatement.

Soon after winning the heavyweight title, Ali converted to Islam and dropped his slave name, changing it to Muhammad Ali.  (“Cassius Clay is a slave name. I didn’t choose it and I don’t want it. I am Muhammad Ali, a free name – it means beloved of God – and I insist people use it when people speak to me and of me.”)  

We all know what his born name was, but I won’t use it here out of respect.   That’s how much of an awe-inspiring badass he was.  I, the Ghoul Pool Administrator, feel compelled to show him nothing but respect.  Me!  And I’m a fucking asshole!

In the prime of his career, Ali was arrested because he refused to be drafted into Vietnam for moral and religious reasons.  (“Why should they ask me to put on a uniform and go 10,000 miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on brown people while so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs?”)  His titles were stipped from him.  But he wasn’t gonna take any of that shit.  He fought it all the way to the Supreme Court.

His deposition opened with: “I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a


He was also the fifth Beatle, aka: The Egg Man.

whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I’m so mean I make medicine sick.”

While that had nothing to do with the case at hand, you just couldn’t stop the man from talkin’ trash.  He was just so damn good at it.

Ali scared the crap out of white folks.  They weren’t used to a strong, smart, eloquent, charismatic man who took pride in being black.  They were scared and Ali didn’t give a shit: “I am America. I am the part you won’t recognize. But get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me.”

It should also be noted that he was nominated for a Grammy for the song “The Adventures of Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay.”  I’d make fun of this, but I’m pretty sure Ali would dig himself out of his grave and kick my ass for it.

This hit goes to: Tailgating with Jesus!  The Beaner (who happens to be a basket of asses, by the way) gains another 30 points and gets to pick a new holdover next year.

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Jami: 170 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 100 – (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 90 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 80 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Harmony: 60 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Marvin Minsky – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

Nathaniel: 10 (Alan Young – 10)

So many titles to choose from!  I could have gone with:

“All My Livin’,” “And Your Bird Can Die,” “Baby, You’re a Dead Man,” “Being for the Funeral of Mr. Martin,” “Can’t Buy Me Life,” “Boy, You’re Gonna Carry that Coffin,” “Die, Baby, Die, Make Your Mamma Cry” “A Day in the Death,” “Dead Tripper,” “All You Need is Death,” “All the Dead People, Where do They All Belong?” “The End,” “Everybody’s Got Something to Die Except Me and My Monkey,” “I’m Digging a Hole,” “George is Dead,” “The Grave on the Hill,” “I Have to Admit, It’s Not Getting Better,” “Look Into a Glass Coffin,” “Final Slumbers Fill Your Eyes,”  “Bad Day, Dead Guy,” “Good Night,” “Got to Get You Outta My Life,”  “Happiness is a Warm Corpse,” “A Hard Day’s Death,” “I Don’t Know Why You Say Good Bye I Say- …Oh,” “When I Am Older, So Much Older than Today,” “There Goes the Sun,” “Take a Dead Man and Make him Deadder,” “Honey Die,” “Wild Honey Die,” “I am the Dead man, I am the Dead Man, I am the Walrus,” “I Saw Him Dying There,” “I Wanna Hold Your Cold Dead Hand,” “If I Fell and Died With You,” “I’ll Follow the Light,” “He’s a Loser, and He’s Not What He Used to Be,” “He’s Down.  He’s Really Down.” “I’m Happy Just to Die With You,” “The Only Difference is You Have Died, I’m Looking Through You and You’re Still Dead,” “I’m Only Sleeping… No… really…” “In My Death,” “It Was All Too Much,” “It’s Only Life, That’s All,” “I Got No Feeling, No Feeling Deep Inside,” “I’ve Just Seen a Corpse,” “Mother Mary Came to Him,” “The Long and Winding Funeral Procession,” “Love, Love Me Dead,” “Martin in the Ground With Diamonds,” “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer Came Down on His Head,” “Mean Mr. Martin Sleeps in a Box,” “Misery,” “Money, (That’s What His Kids Want),” “No Reply,” “This Bird Has Flown,” “Nowhere Man,” “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life Doesn’t Go On (Bra!),” “It’s Only a Northern Dirge,” “Please, Mr. Deadman,” “Kill Killlll Me, Oh yeah,”  “He’s Dead Now, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,” “It’s Sgt. Pepper’s Stopped Hearts Club Band,” “He’s Leaving Home,” “Something in the Way He Doesn’t Move,” “Potter’s Field Forever,” “Declare the Penneys On His Eyes” “Tell Me Why-i-i-i-i-You Died,” “That Boy, Took His Life Away,” “Ticket to Ride Across the River Styx,” “My Guitar Gently Weeps,” “He Died With a Little Help From His Age,” “He Don’t Live in a Yellow Submarine,” “Why He Had to Go, I Don’t Know, He Wouldn’t Say,” “You Won’t See Me,” “Yes, Yes You’re Going to Lose That Life,” “You’ve Got to Hide Your Corpse Away,” “He Blew His Mind Out in a Car,” “If I Stopped My Heart For You, Would You Promise to Be True?”

…you know… to name a few.

Call Doctor Robert because the continuing story of bungalow George comes to an end

George Martin

Man, now we’ll never k now how Game of Thrones ends!

Beatles producer, George Martin took that magical mystery tour to the great beyond at the spry age of 90!

When he got to the bottom he went back to the top of the slide where he stopped and he turned and then died.  He didn’t get to the bottom and we won’t see him again.  Yeah, yeah yeah.

In 1962, after Decca rejected the Beatles, a man at Parlophone records who was known more for classical music and comedy albums, George Martin, decided to sign the Beatles.

This is a seriously baller move.  You make a few Peter Sellers records and then decide to hire a rejected rock-n-roll act?  That’s putting your shit on the line.

It paid off though (according to some).  Martin worked with the Beatles, loving John, George, Ringo… enduring Paul, for the next six years to record twelve albums.  All of which are must-own classics.

Martin was truly the Fifth Beatle.  If anyone tries to give you that Billy Preston bullshit, you just send them to me.  

His classical background gave the music the finesse it needed to bring out the brilliance.

When arranging “Eleanor Rigby,” Martin thought that something like the theme from the movie “Psycho,” would work.  So, he arranged strings to play short, cutting notes under the song making it an unforgettable classic.

And now you will never hear that song the same way again.  (Assuming you’re still reading… damn, this is long.)

When the Fab Four wanted to do out of the box, Martin not only embraced it, he encouraged it.  He showed them what it sounds like if you record something backwards.  The next day, the band showed up with all of these recordings that they thought sounded hilarious and wanted them on the album.

Hence, “Turn me on, dead man,” entered our lexicon…. erroneously.  (Damn, another title that I could have used!)

When John wanted the super-long final chord for “A Day in the Life,” Martin put microphones inside three pianos and a harmonium that all played an E-major chord simultaneously. It  rang out for over forty seconds.  They upped the sound level so that towards the end you can hear the sounds of the studio, including rustling papers, the air conditioner and a squeaking chair.

Take that Preston, with your Fender-Rhodes-electric-piano-playing!

On his deathbed, Martin was told that he met his match.  Martin insisted that it was only a scratch.  He list words were “I’ll be better, I’ll be better, Doc, as soon as I am a-”

It’s been a busy time for the Ghoul Pool, it’s like there’s eight deaths a week.  

Of course, this hit goes to me!  What you thought I’d let Babysitter take George Martin!  Pshaw!

This puts me in a tie for the lead with Jami and Pirate!  AND I hit triple digits!

George Martin is my THIRD holdover to die this year!  It’s been a pretty good year for the ol’ Ghoul Pool Administrator!

And in the end, the points you take is equal to the points you make.

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 100 – (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Joanne: 60 (Joey Feek – 60)

The Girl on Fire: 60 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10)

Harmony: 30 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 30 (William Guest – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Marvin Minsky – 20)

Gianna: 20 (Robert Stigwood – 20)

At the spry age of 68, and at her party, Lesley Gore decided to die of lung cancer.

Hey, you would die too if it happened to you.

After her smash hit “It’s My Party” in 1963, Lesley went on to not be owned by anyone and established herself as an early voice of feminism right there with Betty Friedan (whose book, “The Feminine Mystique” came out on ‘63).

Her single, “You Don’t Own Me” was written from a woman’s perspective with a decidedly feminist bent; it took no prisoners, made no apologies. It climbed to No. 2 on the charts, just behind the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”  Frickin’ Beatles.  Always keepin’ the woman down.  Misogynistic bastards!

In 2012, as a PSA, the song was lip-synched by women such as Carrie Brownstein, Sia Furler and… ugh… Lena Dunham.  Why does the unfunny, reprehensible personality of Lena Dunham keep popping up?  God.  She is awful.  If you want a

Secretly, gore just wanted to stay in the kitchen... but not barefoot and pregnant.  She preferred to wear slippers.

Secretly, gore just wanted to stay in the kitchen… but not barefoot and pregnant. She preferred to wear slippers.

modern feminist role model, look towards my Poehler or Tina Fey (which you should totally do).  You do not need to lower yourself to the awfulness of Lena Dunham to be a feminist.  That’s my PSA.

Lesley Gore went on to famously beat George W. Bush in the 2000 election… but the the mostly male Supreme Court gave Florida to Bush, thwarting her from taking her duly elected office.


This hit goes to: Anne!  She is now tied for second!

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Tailgating with Jesus: 80 – (Jean Béliveau – 20, Ernie Banks – 20, Jerry Tarkanian – 20)

Anne: 70 – (Joe Cocker – 30, Lesley Gore – 40)

Jami: 70 – (Diem Brown)

Nikki: 60 – (Stuart Scott – 60)

I-Steve (a.k.a: The Arch-Bishop!): 40 – (Fiorenzo Angelini – 10, Jorge María Mejía – 10, Cardinal Karl Josef Becker – 20)

Fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator: 30 – (King Abdullah – 10, Joe Franklin – 20)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Marion Barry – 30)

Mostly Mike: 20 – (Ralph H Baer – 10, Edward W. Brooke III – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 20 – (Mario Cuomo – 20)

The Mortician’s Daughter:  10 – (“Little” Jimmy Dickens – 10)

Patriarch of the Waltons, Ralph Waite, who was only six feet tall, said his final “Good night, John-Boy” at the spry age of 85.

His pallbearers are going to carry that Waite, carry that Waite, a long time.


Waite had a brief stint with Mummenschanz.

Waite played John Walton, Sr on the wacky 70s comedy “The Waltons.  It was a precursor to shows like “Scrubs” and a major influence on the “Airplane!” movies.

“The Waltons” followed a family, the Waltons, who lived on Walton’s Mountain in the town of Walton’s Mountain.  Just in case you forget the name of the show.

“The Waltons” was on for nine seasons.  NINE seasons!  That’s a lot of birthmark.  They went on to make a bunch of TV movies… because over 200 episodes just wasn’t enough.  Jesus, way to bogart the airwaves.  There were only three channels back then, you greedy, greedy Waltons… OK, four if you count PBS.  

Waite got into acting in his 30s and once appeared in a modernistic interpretation of “Hamlet” by the New York Shakespeare Festival Public Theater in which Hamlet passed out peanuts and balloons to the audience. I’m pretty sure it was directed by Darren Nichols.  Deal with that!  (OK, that joke is tailored specifically for Gianna)


It was the “Citizen Kane” of matchmaking-dog movies.

Waite went on to do a shit-load of TV shows and many classic movies, such as “Cliffhanger,” “Homeward Bound: Lost in San Francisco,” and “Gabe the Cupid Dog.”

This hit goes to: The Girl on Fire!  Mary continues her quest to overthrow an oppressive government by getting another 20 points!

This puts her just 30 points behind the leader, my lovely wife, Jami!  And I think Mary’s pretty happy about this hit.  Mary always hated “The Waltons.”

Happy pooling,


Current Standings:

Jami: 80 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60)

Gianna 60 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Starving Writer – 40 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus – 30 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10)

Babysitter: 30 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20 )

“Imaginary” Steve: 30 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

The Girl on Fire – 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)

Former lead singer of the 60s garage band The Troggs, Reg Presley, died at the spry age of 71.  (Yes, after 18 hits, we finally have one that’s worth more than 20 points!)


Wild thing, I think I love your jacket.

The Troggs (originally called The Troglodytes) recorded “Wild Thing” in 1966 starting a wave of garage bands and eventually influencing the Punk Rock movement.  With one fucking song.

They also reminded everyone that you do not need to be talented to rock.  A lesson still held dear by bands like The Offspring.

At a time when the Beatles were putting out one of their best albums ever, Revolver, with all its studio tricks, sound effects and track on top of track recording, The Troggs went into the studio and just played all at once like bands used to do.  The recording was so raw that it was rumored to have actually been recorded in a garage.  But no matter what the quality, it’s still miles above whatever crap that Beiber-bitch puts out.

The Troggs went on to… to…. …OK, they really sucked after “Wild Thing.”  They put out 10 more albums without a blip on the radar.  But did they have to?  I mean,… yeah, they sucked.

Then Wet Wet Wet covered their song “Love is All Around.”  This became a huge hit and eventually a Bill Nighy classic.

Reg used the proceeds from this cover to investigate crop circles.  So, that was money well spent.  He wrote about his findings in Wild Things They Don’t Tell Us.  Which I’m sure you have all read.  And, spoiler alert, they’re made by drunken hobos.

This hit goes to Dawn-n-Mike (but mostly Mike).  I say mostly Mike here because he claimed responsibility for the pick.  But when questioned, he didn’t know who The Troggs were.  So if you are being slighted, Dawn, you know who to punch in the head. …with your good hand.

Either way, they found out that good old Reg had lung cancer and picked him towards the end of the night, after they bitched out on us and left early.  (I mean, it’s not like they were warned in advance that it would be a long night.)

And they have not only doubled their score, but they have pulled ahead into the lead!  Way to go! 

Not to worry, because Nancy Reagan and Abe Vigoda can’t last forever.  Although I wish someone would tell them that.

Happy Pooling,


Current Standings:

Dawn-n-Mike – 60 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0, Norman Joseph Woodland – 10, Patti Page – 20, Reg Presley – 30)

The Girl on Fire – 30 – (Dear Abby – 10, Ed Koch – 20)

Joanne – 30 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10, Robert Bork – 20)

Tailgating with Jesus – 30 – (Marvin Miller – 10, Earl Weaver – 20)

Team Sushi – 20 – (Conrad Bain – 20)

Babysitter – 20 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10)

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Sean P. McFeeley I – 10 – (Patty Andrews – 10)

Nikki the Bad-Ass – 10 – (Stan Musial – 10)

The New Dick in Town – 10 – (Jack Klugman – 10)

Gainna – 10 – (Lucille Bliss – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

Sitar virtuoso Ravi Shankar died at the spry age of 92.  Quick: name another Sitar virtuoso!… that’s what I thought.

Shankar became internationally famous when members of The Byrds introduced his music to George Harrison.  Harrison bought a Sitar and first played it on Rubber Soul’s “Norwegian Wood(This Bird Has Flown)”.

A photo of Shankar's leather sitar-holder.  It was hand craft... what?.... really?..... ewwww.

A photo of Shankar’s leather sitar-holder. It was hand craft… what?…. really?….. ewwww.

Shankar studied the Sitar for 6 years before playing publicly.  George picked on up and started plucking.  Shankar hated and resented George’s playing.  “It’s the sound of an ethereal cat fight.”

In 1966 Harrison met Shankar and it was all Ravi could do to keep from strangling him with his own sitar strings.  “You fucking Limey bastard!”  he yelled while Ringo held him back.  “I’ve spent my whole career on sitar music and you do one damn song and make more money than my entire country has ever seen!”

The animosity grew after that.  Harrison lit a bag of dog poop on Shankar’s porch a week later.  “It was great, all you could hear for miles was: ‘Damn, you!  These are new Italian sandals!’”

Not to be outdone Shankar then killed Brian Epstein… but perhaps I’ve said too much.

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  Yes, the cocky bastard is gonna get cockier.  Was that a sonic boon I just heard?  No, it’s just babysitter’s ego blowing up.

Plus, he stole a Beatle pick from me!  I coulda been on the board!  I coulda been somebody!  But it was you, Babysitter.  It was you all along!

Alas, Babysitter, you don’t even have the lead.  You’re tied with my lovely wife, who got there in one hit, thank you very much.

Happy pooling,

Current Standings:

Babysitter – 20 (Clive Dunn – 10, Ravi Shankar – 10)

Jami – 20 – (Larry Hagman – 20)

Joanne – 10 – (Freddy Schmidt – 10)

Tailgating with Jesus – 10 – (Marvin Miller – 10)

Gainna – 10 – (Lucille Bliss – 10)

“Sister” Mary Sheila – 10 (Lee MacPhail – 10)

Dawn-n-Mike – 0 (Oscar Niemeyer – 0)