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Tag Archives: war

Murderer, terrorist, polygamist, statutory rapist, and true master of the pan flute, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, died at the spry age of 45

al-Baghdadi was the leader of the Sunni Salafi jihadist militant jihadist organisation known as the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL).  

Or is it Just Islamic State (IS)?  Or is it Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) or Islamic State in Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS as well)?  Or is it just, check this one out: Daesh?  (Which I guess would just be “D.”  Or maybe you would call that “Sunni D.”

Man, these guys have some serious branding issues.  Their worse than “#.”
NOTE: Sunni D is not to be confused with Sunny D.  Although both are evil, it is to varying degrees.

A few weeks ago, Russia claimed to kill him.  But who listens to them?  …Oh, yeah.  He does.

Well, the Syrian Observatory has now confirmed that claim.   How astronomers are so up on who lives,  who dies and who tells your story in a war-torn area is a mystery to me.

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al-Baghdadi, shown hear singing “My Heart Will Go On” at the Iraqi Oscars.

 

But the organization that is confirming the kill is known as an accurate, reliable source according to The United Nations, newspaper and nongovernmental organisations.  “Generally, the information on the killings of civilians is very good, definitely one of the best,” said Neil Sammonds, a British researcher for Amnesty International.

If Wikipedia is good enough for my Ghoul Pool research, I’m gonna say that this, much more credible source holds water.

The US has not confirmed the death.  But that’s because they are whiney little bitches who are crying into their pillows, saying, “WE’RE supposed to kill him!  That’s what we do!”

Russia: first in space and first to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Al-Baghdadi was arrested by US Forces in 2004 near Fallujah and detained at the Abu Ghraib.

You remember Abu Ghraib, right?  The place where they tortured and humiliated detainees while taking selfies?

Hmm… now I wonder why he hated America?

Now don’t get me wrong here, our awful treatment of Muslims and atrocities in places like Abu Ghraib are not a justification for the murder of hundreds of people.  The guy was definitely an evil asshole.

But why do we work so hard to make ourselves the targets of evil assholes like him?

This hit goes to: ME!  Yes, I was smart enough to pick the one guy that both the US and Russia wanted to kill.

This gives me a humble 60 points which doubles my score!  I’m now just 20 points behind the two rookie leaders!

Can this be it?!?!  Can this be my return to the shores of Ghoul Pool winnings!?!?!?!

Probably not.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Former dictator and human pineapple, Manuel Noriega died at the spry age of 83.

Noriega put the “Dick” in Dictator.  He ruled Panama in the 80s where he helped the US, helped Cuba and sold a lot of drugs.

He was known for brandishing a machete during speeches.

He lived a lavish, libertine life off drug-trade riches, complete with luxurious mansions, cocaine-fueled parties and voluminous collections of antique guns.

Most importantly, he liked to display his teddy bears dressed as paratroopers.  

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Noriega, shown here doing his impression of Dick Cheney.

Oh, how I Googled and Googled the hell out of “Manuel Noriega’s Teddy Bear Collection.”  Alas, not even a thumbnail could be found.

In 1989, George Bush #1 got tired of his antics and shenanigans, even if it did keep Crockett & Tubbs employed.

With operation “Just Cause” (a name Bush came up with at retreat called “Operation: Lame Names”) the US invaded Panama (because invading is what we do) and deposed Noriega (because deposing is what we also do.  Ain’t that right, Chile?).  

A separate operation to keep Noriega from escaping was deployed.  This was Operation “Nifty Package.”  No.  Really.  Bush got his money’s worth at that retreat.

Noriega ended up holed up in a mission set up by the Vatican.  He came in and claimed sanctuary, just like Quasimodo.

To flush him out, the US used what is called Music Torture.  A fleet of Humvees mounted with loudspeakers rolled in, and blasted music, 24 hours a day, in this densely populated area.  I believe it was Operation “Neat-o Tunes.”

The playlist included The Clash, Van Halen, U2, Bruce Cockburn, Guns-n-Roses and The Doors.

Thee Office of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff maintains that the music was used principally to prevent parabolic microphones from being used to eavesdrop on negotiations.  In other words: they lied.  Again.  It’s what they do.  (Ain’t that right, Weapons of Mass Destruction?)

After ten days of this, Noriega surrendered.  It was later noted that if country “music” was played, the standoff would have only lasted two hours.  But we couldn’t do that to the brave soldiers manning the Humvees.

Noriega then spent his time traveling the world.  He stayed in Jails in the US, France and… well, Panama.

Later that year, “Miami Vice” was then cancelled.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Then Noriega died.

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Their swath through 80s mediocrity continues!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Josh: 120 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)