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Heartthrob, homosexual and diet soda inventor, Tab Hunter died at the spry age of 86.

Back in the 50s, Tab, with his surfer-boy, Santa-Barbara good looks, was the bee’s-knees to women across the country.

Tab didn’t want to tell anyone at the time but: not interested.

In the 50s were an innocent time where homosexuals were discriminated and often beaten for being gay.  Ahh… if we could only go back to those virtuous times were every day was a Happy Days episode and nothing offensive ever happened.

During this carefree time of oppression, Hunter wore many beards, like Natalie Wood,

tab-hunter

Tab Hunter doing his Dolph Lundgren impression.

Sophia Loren and Debbie Reynolds.  Insiders who guessed at his homosexuality would say that “Natalie Wood and Tab Wouldn’t.”

Hunter had a serious relationship with Anthony Perkins (the guy from Psycho, not Silence of the Lambs: get your Anthonies straight!), Figure skater Ronnie Robertson (from the ‘65 olympics, not the guitarist from The Band: get your Robertsons right!), finally settling down with film producer Allan Glaser (not Brian Grazer: get your film producers right!).

In the early aughts, he heard tell that someone was going to write a tell all book about him.  Hunter decided to beat him to the punch and wrote Tab Hunter Confidential: The Making of a Movie Star, saying “”I thought, ‘Look, get it from the horse’s mouth and not from some horse’s ass.”

This hit goes to Joanne!  She is the third player to reach triple digits this year!  Congrats, Joanne!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 150 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30, Joe Jackson – 20)

Joanne: 110 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40, Tab Hunter – 20)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 30 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20, Eunice Gayson – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  30 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10, Red Schoendienst – 10)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

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The King Father of Pop, Joe Jackson, died at the spry age of 89.

Jackson will be remembered for whipping the Jackson 5 (literally and figuratively) into a top, international act.

Joe started The Jackson Brothers based solely on the incredible talent that was Tito.  The group consisted of the three eldest brothers, Jackie, Jermaine and, of course, the now internationally revered Tito.

When Marlon and Michael joined, they changed the name to The Jackson Five, because there was one-two-three-four-five of them.

At this point, Michael, an insecure little twerp, muscled his way past the eminently more

joe-jackson-hospitalized-terminal-cancer

Joe Jackson with his I’m-about-to-beat-my-loser-kid-face.

talented Tito and forced himself into the spotlight to become the lead singer.  Most critics agree that the band would have seen some real success if Tito remained lead singer.  

But with Mike at the forefront, they just had to settle for a contract with Motown, 11 Top Ten hits, selling 75 million records and being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Man, Mike really held them back.

When Jackson managed his family, he allegedly ordered each of them to call him “Joseph”, which contributed to several siblings being estranged from him.  I don’t know, I think it was the whippings that really did all the estranging.

Michael Jackson claimed that he was physically and emotionally abused by his father, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling, but also admitting that his father’s strict discipline played a large part in his success.

So… beat your kids?  You know, if you want them to really make something of themselves.

Michael recalled that Joseph sat in a chair with a belt in his hand as Michael and his siblings rehearsed and that “if you didn’t do it the right way, he would tear you up, really get you.”

Joe apparently learned this technique from stories about his Grandfather’s first job.  As a slave.

But, we must keep in mind that without Joe Jackson, we would have never had this:

This hit goes to: Jami!  Now she’s only 120 points behind the leaders!  Come on Jami, we’re all rootin’ for ya! [More accurately, we’re all rooting against Team Sushi.]

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 150 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30, Joe Jackson – 20)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 30 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20, Eunice Gayson – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  30 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10, Red Schoendienst – 10)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Star of “Miss Robin Hood” and “Zarak,” Eunice Gayson died at the spry age of 90.

Gayson (whose name translates to “homosexual progeny”) is remembered for being the very first “Bond Girl.”

She sold war bonds from coast to coast, raising untold money for the boys in the doughboys-

Hold on, …I’m being told that I have misconstrued the term “Bond Girl.”

Gayson played the very first love interest to James Bond in the 1st two movies, “Dr. No”

Gayson

Gayson, shown here being a tawdry little minx.

and “From Russia With Love.”

This makes her the only Bond Girl to be in two movies as the same character.

She was going to be a recurring character, one that Bond would always fail to set go on a date with due to the time-pressures of his job.  Yeah, they didn’t keep that gag.

Apparently, Sean Connery was having trouble delivering the “Bond.  James Bond.” line for the first time. She said: “He had to say Bond, James Bond, but he came out with other permutations like Sean Bond, James Connery.”

What a great mental image, James Bond, the king of cool, not being able to spit out his own name.

Gayson took Connery for a drink, and he returned to deliver it perfectly.  Like any good Scotsman, he’s best while drunk on the job.

As with many of the Bond girls in the 1960s and 1970s, her lines were re-recorded by voiceover artist Nikki van der Zyl, the Marni Nixon of the spoken word.

This hit goes to: Occupy the Casket! …I mean Morrigan’s Mirror!  Pirate is now only 10 points behind me!  That’s pretty sad.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 30 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20, Eunice Gayson – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  30 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10, Red Schoendienst – 10)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Cardinal (ball player, not priest in red) and the oldest living Hall of Famer (formerly), Red Schoendienst has shown his last dienst because he died at the spry age or 95.

The Thriving New York Times refers to Schoendienst as a “latter-day Huckleberry Finn.”  Um, have you seen how old he was? I don’t think that any of his days were latter. He may have been the Huck Finn.

The oldest living Hall of Famer is now Tommy Lasorda.  Wait? That fat-fuck is still alive? I was amazed that he survived the eighties!

Between playing, managing and coaching, Schoendienst worked for a solid 74 years.  74 years! That’s what people’s life expectancy is in Paraguay! [Google it.]

I bet in that time, he got into some major shenanigans.  I mean, not dead-hooker in the trunk kind of shenanigans [technically, I think that ranks above a shenanigan], but I’m sure that monkey-shines were involved somewhere… drunken brawls?  wild orgies?

Red

Schoendienst on the cover of an 1829 Sports Illustrated.

Let’s see… married for 52 years… baseball, baseball… 10 grandkids… baseball, baseball…

Nothin’.  Man, Red was pretty boring.  Unless you count 74 years in the majors as exciting.  I guess that’s pretty cool.

This hit goes to: Tailgating with Jesus!  Bean is continuing his strategy of getting 10 points a hit.  

Just 25 hits away from the lead there, buddy!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  30 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10, Red Schoendienst – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Star of “Over the Rainbow,” “Dahmer vs Gacy,” the last surviving munchkin from “The Wizard of Oz,” and all around short guy, Jerry Maren died at the spry age of 93.

Maren wasn’t some background munchkin.  He was part of the motherfuckin’ Lollipop Guild!  He was the one who handed Judy Garland the lollipop!  He was a STAR!

At his last meeting with the 2nd-to-last surviving munchkin, Ruth Duccini, Jerry hugged his teary-eyed fellow alum and said, “Ruth, I don’t want to be last. You do it.”

To which she said: “Eat it, BITCH!” and died.  And she said it like Jesse Pinkman too. She was big into Breaking Bad.

A large group of midgets (I can still say that, right? No?  OK, little people) were hired to play munchkins for “The Wizard of Oz” (TWoO to the unhealthily obsessed).  They allegedly partied and tore up their hotel.

This rumor was started by that bitch, Judy Garland.

THE WIZARD OF OZ, from left: Jerry Maren, Harry Earles, 1939

Maren in the middle, the only one with his real hair.

In a 1967 interview Garland was in obvious altered states (very unlike the stone-cold-sober star). In the interview, she branded them all “drunks” and a few of the Munchkin actors said they were not inclined to forgive.  

When reached for comment, Maren said, “And I gave you a lollipop, you feckless bitch!”  [Only he didn’t say “bitch.” He said THE word. The C dash-dash-dash Samantha Bee word.]

This reputation was further reinforced in the not-so-classic film “Under the Rainbow.”

For those unfamiliar, “Under the Rainbow,” was a “comedy” about an assassination attempt/Nazi spy ring set with the backdrop of a hotel full of munchkins.  

It starred Chevy Chase.

And it is worse than you are imagining… but it also featured Jerry Maren!

He is survived by Marc Maron.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Former 49ers receiver, Dwight Clark, died from ALS at the spry age of 61.

Take a wild guess which assholes picked him…

Former teammate Roger Craig talked about a get together with Clark and the rest of the team.  “We cried, we all got a taste of Dwight.” [actual quote]

Soooo…. Did they all gather around and give him a blowjob?  Is that the prize for being diagnosed with ALS? Thirty guys show up to suck you off?  

You know what?  Not worth it. ALS is such a terrible way to die.  30 blowjobs doesn’t cover that check.

It is believed that his ALS stemmed from the punishing his head received in the NFL.

When reached for comment, the NFL said, “…this NFL?  Wasn’t it when he was with the Nice Flower League?”

When reached for comment, the Nice Flower League said, “yeah, they do this all the time.  See, we don’t actually exist, so their story is flimsy at best.”

Clark caught some ball in some game and the catch was very famous.  Blah blah blah.

Clark

Clark on the day of his retirement with… is that Babe Ruth?

In his time playing for the 49ers, he created many statistics.

After that, he retired.

Clark’s wife has begun petitioning that ALS no longer be called “Lou Gehrig’s Disease,” and changed to “Dwight Clark’s Disease.”  Honestly, I don’t think she’s going to get anywhere with that campaign.

This hit goes to: Those jackasses who already had a 100 point lead.

Sheesh, give us a break already!  I mean, normally, I’m all about: damn, good pick!  But 130 of their points stem from Texas being a brutal-ass state that kills indiscriminately (a word which is used here as an of an exaggeration).

Maybe I’m just jealous.  Maybe it’s Maybelline.

All I know is, now Deb and Damion can get the hell off my back.  It’s not like I’m paid to do this.  I have a real job too…

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Actor and all around white guy, Robert Mandan died at the spry age of 86.

Mandan was always on hand to play a rich white guy, a bombastic layer, a rich white guy, an older white doctor or a rich white guy.  Rich white guy was his wheelhouse.

Mandan was born in Clever, Missouri.  A town that, seriously, was named because it’s  young community’s residents were friendly and wise.

I’m kinda surprised that this method of naming a town never took off.  There is no, Redneck, Alabama. No Hippie, Washington. No Asshole, Texas.  There’s not even a White

ROBERT MANDAN

This was his “Rich White Guy” look.

People, Vermont.

Just to be sure: I Googled it.

Mandan will be best remembered for his role as Chester Tate, a rich white guy who was a womanizer who kept cheating on his large-breasted wife.

Chester confesses to murder, escapes prison before getting off on an insanity plea, sleeps around, gets a divorce, suffers from amnesia after a failed operation and marries his daughter’s friend.

And that was a pretty tame story line for Soap.

This hit goes to: Mary!  She edges closer to triple digits and now has 90 points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 230 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

The last living member of the Apollo 12 mission to the moon, Alan Bean, died at the spry age of 86.

Bean was the 5th man to walk on the moon.  But no one cares because he wasn’t the 1st.  Neil Armstrong: we all know that guy. Alan Bean… isn’t he that comedian on that British show?

When not hurtling through space, Bean spent most of his time alone, his only companion was Teddy, a little, brown teddy bear.

But he did get into some shenanigans in his time, like when he strapped an armchair to the top of his car and rigged it so that he could drive around town on it.

And there was that time when he accidentally grabbed that baby at the fair… good times.

But antics and hijinx aside, don’t you think that we should know the names of the people who walked on the moon?  I mean, there’s only 12 of them. They should all be household

bean

Alan Bean.  (As far as I know.)

names.

To be clear: I’m not sitting here all holier than thou about this.  I don’t know their names! I know Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Alan Bean.

And next week, I’ll only remember the 1st two.

These men walked on the face of a celestial object!

Man, we’re dumb.

This hit goes to: Wes!  This brings him up to 60 points.  He remains in 6th place, a mere 170 points behind the leaders.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 230 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

A man who may or may not have committed murder, Juan Castillo, was executed at the spry age of 37.

Castillo was executed for the 2003 robbery and murder of Tommy Garcia Jr. in San Antonio.  

Prosecutors said Castillo and three others lured Garcia to a secluded area in 2003 to rob him by promising him sex with one of Castillo’s female accomplices. When Garcia tried to run, Castillo shot him, according to the accomplices.
Wait, really?  That’s it? He killed one guy (assuming he’s guilty) and he gets killed for it?  Shouldn’t the death penalty be for people who murder children while raping the family pet or some shit like that?  Shouldn’t it be for the absolute worst offenders?

I don’t mean to belittle the life of his victim, it’s a terrible thing that Castillo may or may not have done.  But the death penalty? Isn’t that a little to Hammurabi’s Code?

The Texas Defender Service, a capital defense group who had recently picked up Castillo’s case, wanted to fully investigate claims they said discredited the prosecution’s evidence against Castillo — including recanted statements and video of police interrogations that contradict testimony at trial.

So, there’s actual evidence that this guy was innocent, Texas kills him, and a murderer goes free.

Fuck Texas!

Castillo

If he gets exonerated, do you think Texas will say, “My bad?”  Yeah, probably not.

And fuck the death penalty!

Man, we live in a barbaric country.

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Those jerk-wads get another 70 points, putting them 100 points ahead of second place.  We must take them down.

They also have me debating a Death Row rule for next year.  I mean, where’s the fun in seeing possibly innocent people murdered by the state.

Chances are I won’t instate it because I like to keep things simple.  I don’t know…. I’ll keep y’all up to date on that.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

PS: It’s OK that you didn’t know the title was a take on a Lawrence of Arabia quote.  No, really.

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 230 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Author, satirist, social commentator, and pioneer of New Journalism who tore into class status with a burning cynical wit, Tom Wolfe, died at the spry age of 88.

Wolfe was originally known for writing in-depth essays about specific American cultures.  He wrote about hot-rodders and their origins from the moonshining days of Prohibition in 1965s “The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby.”  His essay about rich WASPs of the New York City elite who attended Leonard Bernstein’s Black Panthers fundraising party can be found in “Radical Chic & Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers.”  He wrote about hippies on acid in “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.”

He also had some of the best book titles.

While most authors were writing about their own experiences, Wolfe preferred to keep his pen trained on others, and their often ridiculous behavior.  (“America is a wonderful country! I mean it! The human comedy never runs out of material! It never lets you down!”)

In “Radical Chic,” Wolfe skewed the comical clash of cultured by asking:  “Do Panthers

Tom Wolfe_sm

You don’t wear a suit like that to a spaghetti dinner.  You just don’t.

like little Roquefort cheese morsels rolled on crushed nuts this way, and asparagus tips in mayonnaise dabs, and meatballs petites au Coq Hardi, all of which are at the very moment being offered to them on gadrooned silver platters by maids in black uniforms with hand-ironed white aprons?”

In “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test,” he hung out with author Ken Kesey (“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”) and the Merry Pranksters as they spread their message of LSD throughout the nation.  (Their message was: Take LSD. Ken Kesey was no Nancy Reagan.)

The book is often cited as one of the first examples of “New Journalism,” where writers immersed themselves in the stories and write in the style of long-form non-fiction.  Wolfe presented fact in a form that was usually reserved for fiction: the novel.

He wrote extensively about life in the Mercury Space program in 1979s “The Right Stuff.”  Which was eventually made into an amazing movie whose name escapes me right now… I’ll have to get back to you on that.  It was in reading that book that I realized that if Wolfe wrote about the history of gum wrappers, it would be fascinating.

Wolfe also wrote my all-time favorite book, “The Bonfire of the Vanities,” which is considered to be the seminal wbook about the 80s.

The book’s scope explores the lives of different social strata in New York City (the book takes you from a bond trading floor on Wall Street to holding cells in the Bronx) in the 80s.  And Wolfe kept a caustic attitude towards everyone.

When commenting on American Men’s fashions in Bonfire he wrote, ““The Yanks always wore neckties that leapt out in front of their shirts, as if to announce the awkwardness to follow.”

Bonfire

Read this book!  My friend Dawn loved it!

I just love that line.

The socialite women who wished they were anorexic (“Sherman swore he could see light through her sternum”) that he called “Social X-Rays,” who congregated in “Conversation Bouquets,” vying for the most interesting “Conversational Nuggets.”  

The man could coin a phrase.  He coined the 70s as “The Me Decade.”  He also coined “pushing the envelope,” “balls-out,” and “catching flak.”
Not everyone liked or even respected Wolfe.  In a review for “A Man in Full,” Norman Mailer said, it “can even be said to resemble the act of making love to a three-hundred pound woman. Once she gets on top, it’s over. Fall in love, or be asphyxiated.”

To which Wolfe replied  “All I got out of that is the fact that Norman has made love to a lot of three-hundred-pound women.”

This hit goes to: ME!  I started picking Tom Wolfe when I realized how fucking old he was.  It was a Jami-picking-George-Michael kind of thing. If he dies, someone’s gotta get the points.  And that someone should be me!

The good news: this doubles my score!  The bad news: I am doing so poorly that a 20-point hit can double my score.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)