Skip navigation

Swedish opera tenor, Nicolai Gedda, died at the spry age of 91.

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a waitress and a Russian, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in Stockholm by providence, impoverished in squalor, grow up to be an tenor opera singer?

I have no idea.  Read his goddamned autobiography if you’re that interested.  I’m sticking to Wikipedia.

Gedda was widely admired for his sensitive musicianship, masterly tonal control and impeccable diction.  Is it me or does all that sound just a little bit dirty?

Over a quarter-century, he sang 367 performances with the Metropolitan Opera, which means that this lazy jackass only worked about one day a month.  I’m so sick of these damn welfare queens!  Just mooching off the system.  Lazy tax-stealing bastards.

His roles included Des Grieux in Massenet’s “Manon,” Hoffmann in Offenbach’s “Les Contes d’Hoffmann,” Nemorino in Donizetti’s “L’Elisir d’Amore,” Ernesto in his “Don

Gedda-Nicolai-3

Was Bill Murray always that fat?

Pasquale,” Roméo in Gounod’s “Roméo et Juliette,” Connard in Écrivain Prétentieux’s “Mots Aléatoire” Edgardo in his “Lucia di Lammermoor,” and the title role in Berlioz’s “Benvenuto Cellini.”

I know exactly one of these roles.  Another one is made up.  You’ll have to use Google Translator to see which one.

One reviewer once said that Gedda’s voice was “an ideal union of responsiveness to word and musical line, a demonstration of vocal and technical mastery and varied and beautiful tone, and an expression of wise and” -Oh my God, this is why everyone hates opera!

This hit goes to:  Really?  Babysitter again?  He now has 100 points!  He made triple digits!  And all because he Googled his list.  The rugby player died way back in February and this guy in January.

Word to the wise: Google your list every now and then.

Erin remains at… wait, let me do the math… [carry the one… …factor in the variance of population data… aaaand…] …zero points!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Babysitter: 100 – (June Foray – 10 – Glen Campbell – 20, Joost van der Westhuizen – 60, Nicolai Gedda – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

South African bad-ass Joost van der Westhuizen died at the spry age of 45.  [45!?!?! Shit!  I hope Babysitter didn’t have him!]

Why was he a bad-ass?  Let’s start with the fact that he was an internationally renowned [yes, he went through the painful nouning process] rugby player.  Frankly, you could start AND end with that.

Have you ever played rugby?  No you haven’t.  Neither have I.  You know why?  We’re fucking pussies, that’s why!  We can act all high and mighty with our American Football.  With our helmets and our shoulderpads.

You know what rugby doesn’t have?  Helmets.  You know what else it doesn’t have?  Mother-fucking shoulder pads!

The only protection you need in rugby is the ability of kicking the crap out of the other guy before he kicks the crap outta you.

Another reason he was bad-ass?   He was diagnosed with MND (I’m assuming a disease with long words that I don’t understand… Multitudinous Narciratic Disease?) in 2011, he was given just a couple of years to live (because MND is some serious shit).

He said, “fuck that,” and lived for another six years!  And in that time, he raised money

Joost

Joost playing a round of “Who’s thumb is that?”

to fight MND.  (Mandible Neurosis Disease?)

Another reason he was a bad-ass?  Van der Westhuizen won 89 caps for the Springboks scoring scored an astonishing 38 tries!  Ok, I really have no idea what the hell that means.

Van Der Westhuizen redefined scrum half play!  Scrum whole play was undisturbed by his career.

This hit goes to:  Aw, crap!   It is Babysitter!  The sitter of babies gets 60 damn points for this one, putting him at 90 points.  Still not triple digits, but OK, I guess.

Erin remains at zero.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Babysitter: 90 – (June Foray – 10 – Glen Campbell – 20, Joost van der Westhuizen – 60)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Country “singer” who fused country “music” with pop music (thanks a lot for that, asshole), Glen Campbell died at the spry age of 81.

Campbell died of Alzheimer’s disease: the disease that you need to be constantly reminded that you have.

Named after soup, Campbell was born in Arkansas, to a sharecropping family. “We used to watch TV by candlelight,” Campbell told Rolling Stone in 2011.  Apparently people in Arkansas are so dumb, they do not realize that televisions emit their own light.  That’s why they’re 41st in education!

With hits like “Rhinestone Cowboy,” “Wichita Lineman” and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix,” he sold over 45 million records.  But let’s face it: he was still just a country “music” singer.  So, he lowered the bar for intelligence for five decades.  Again, thanks a lot, pal.

In 1968, he outsold The Beatles.

Campbell

Campbell made the unforgivable faux pas by criticizing Stevie Wonder’s playing by saying, “What the fuck, are you blind or something?”

Let’s take a look at that though, shall we?  The Beatles released one album that year: The Beatles (aka “The White Album” for those people who should already fucking know anyway).  That was released on November 22.  So, that means that they had 39 days (not even four scaramuccis) of album sales for a new album.  Their previous album, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, was released in June of the previous year.  So it was on the market for over six months when 1968 rolled around.

Glen Campbell, while an admittedly popular “singer,” released FIVE-fucking-albums in 1968!  So, all he really did was saturate the damn market.  Outsold The Beatles… fuck you, Campbell!

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  He claws his way up to 30 points!  A mere 140 points behind the leader (which is me!)!

Erin remains at zero points.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Babysitter: 30 – (June Foray – 10 – Glen Campbell – 20)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Depressed, Obese, singing alcoholic Barbara Cook died at the spry age of 89.

Hey, don’t blame me, the failing New York Times came up with that litany in their obit.

Cook became a Kennedy Center Honoree in 2011.  Ah, the Kennedy Center Honorees… always great Ghoul Pool fodder.

On Broadway, she originated the role of Marion the librarian in “The Music Man,” starred in “Candide” (1956) and revivals of “Carousel” (1957), “The King and I” (1960) and “Show Boat” (1966).  All of which I have heard of.

She also appeared in nonmusical roles, including “Any Wednesday” (1965) and “Little Murders” (1967).  Neither of which I have heard of.

Her private life was a little… less-celebrated.   By the late ’60s she drank more and

cook

Cook, before the depressed, obese, alcoholic stage of her life.

worked less. She acknowledged in an interview in 2005, that she was virtually unemployable, an alcoholic mired in depression. She went on eating binges and grew to 250 pounds.  See, the failing New York Times was right in their assessment..

“I was not some lady drunk,” she said. “I was a real non-functioning alcoholic. Dishes, always in the sink. The kitchen a mess. The bathroom a mess. Everything a mess.”  Um, isn’t that just college?

This hit goes to: Morrigan’s Mirror!  This time, I do not have to remind myself that this is Pirate’s hit because she just got one, like, five minutes ago!

Pirate breaks the triple digit point, along with five others.

To reach said threshold, Erin, has about 100 points to go!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 120 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20, Barbara Cook – 20)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Haruo Nakajima, the first actor to play Godzilla, died at the spry age of 88.

In 1954, Nakajima starred in the 1st Godzilla movie and he had a small part in Akira Kurosawa’s masterpiece “Seven [*ya-a-a-w-wn*] Samurai.”  That’s kinda running the gamut [an annoying artsy-fartsy movie and miniature destruction porn (a precursor to today’s destruction-porn)] with only two movies!

Mr. Nakajima would eventually put on the 200 pound rubber monster costume 12 times from 1954 to 1972 in a series of movies that became an international phenomenon.  Not a very entertaining phenomenon, but still popular enough.  Kinda like the Kardashians.  

Wearing a hot, heavy suit beneath bright lights had him sweating so much, he said, that at the end of a day’s shooting he could wring enough perspiration from his undershirt to fill half a bucket.  God, that’s disgusting.  If you smell carefully, you can still smell the stink from that suit from here.

To perfect the monster’s destructive gait, Mr. Nakajima spent hours at the zoo studying

Godzilla

Nakajima, shown here dehydrated and passing out.

how elephants and bears walked. He wanted the monster to be believable.  I mean, it didn’t work because a Nick Cage performance is more believable.  But, He did pretty good for a guy in 200 pounds of latex.

 

Truth is, he could only stay inside the suit for three minutes before passing out.  That meant that they couldn’t do any of those Alfonso Cuarón ten-hour tracking shots.

This hit goes to: Morrigan’s Mirror, which I have to yet again remind myself, is NOT Nathaniel!  Especially with such a geek-cred pick.

As a note: there is only one person without a hit.  How does it feel, Erin?

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 90 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20, Haruo Nakajima – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Former all-star catcher for the Philadelphia Phillies, Darren Daulton, died at the spry age of 55.

Daulton had battled brain cancer since 2013. He had two tumors removed in 2013, but was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer that also killed his former teammate Tug McGraw and former coach John Vukovich.  

So…. contagious?  Are we looking at some kind of Outbreak situation?  Are we all gonna die from brain cancer because we are only separated by six degrees?

The long-haired Daulton, nicknamed “Dutch,” was beloved by Phillies fans and respected by teammates despite his insistence that everyone split the check.

After retiring from baseball, his life took a turn.

He was arrested for a DUI, then his license was suspended the next time for refusing to take the breathalyzer test.  He was also arrested for battery against his wife.

Daulton

Daulton was alway business in the front and party in the back.

He divorced and married professional golfer Amanda Dick because, “I always wanted a wife with a dirty name.”

But that’s not all: he also wrote a book about numerology and the occult!  If They Only Knew by Darren Daulton is available on Amazon for $16.50 on paperback or $4.99 for your Kindle.

“Daulton delves into issues of ascension, such as dimensions and levels of consciousness, the Mayan Calendar and December 21, 2012, creating one’s own reality and a lot more.”

What the fuck, dude?  Just catch the damned ball and throw it back to the pitcher.  Don’t tell me about picking the next pitch by utilizing the hidden powers of the fibonacci sequence.  

Plus, why didn’t you just create your own reality where you didn’t have brain cancer?

This hit goes to: ME!  Yes!  I take the lead in the Ghoul Pool!  Lee Kwang Soo!  Lee Kwang Soo!  Lee Kwang Soo!

Of course, this means that Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will soon be proven to be alive to take the lead away.  But for now: the most reliable sources are still saying he’s dead.  And he hasn’t picked up his Subway order form eight months ago, so….

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 170 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60, Darren Daulton – 50)

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Or

The End of an Ara

Ara Parseghian, former Notre Dame football coach and rejected character name for Game of Thrones, died at the spry age of 94.

Ara took over the notre Dame football team in 1964 and turned it around with Coach-Tayloresque magic.  

That spring, student servers in Notre Dame’s dining hall noticed that football players were forsaking gravy and ice cream. The new coach had told them that they were going to be leaner and faster.  You can’t do that on a diet of grilled cheese sandwiches.

“He told us we were good; he’d give each of us a chance to show what we could do in practice,” Jack Snow said.  I’m gonna assume that Jack Snow was a football player.

From 2-7 in 1934 to 9-1 the next year.

Obit Parseghian Football

Parseghian, shown here about to call a player a “mother-fuckin’ mooch.”

He famously continued to help injured quarterback Jason Street, even going so far as to offer him a job.  He molded the bumbling Matt Saracen into a champion quarterback.

He could never get any real control on Tim Riggins drinking thought.  (WWRD)

He also kicked the slightly racistly-named Voodoo Tatum off the team because he wouldn’t play ball.

I mean that figuratively.  I mean,l, he played football.  But he didn’t play by the coach’s rules.  So, he wouldn’t play ball… you know what?  Never mind.

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Barton, being a long time fan of the Irish, is likely the source of this hit.  And with this, they break 100!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Team Sushi: 100 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20, Ara Parseghian – 10)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Cartoon voice actress June Foray died at the spry age of 99.

Ms. Foray began her remarkable 85-year career playing an elderly woman in a radio drama in 1929 at age 12.  A role that she had been reprising for the past 30 years.

She was Rocky the Flying Squirrel in “Bullwinkle,” Lucifer the cat in “Cinderella,” a mermaid and a squaw in “Peter Pan,” Wheezy Weasel and Lena Hyena in “Who Framed

June_Foray_1952

Foray was also famous for having pyramid-shaped breasts.

Roger Rabbit,” Cindy-Lou Who in “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” Ursula in “George of the Jungle,”and Aunt May Parker in “Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends” (Back when they recognized that Aunt May is not supposed to be hot).

She also breathed sinister spirit into a doll in a memorable 1963 “Twilight Zone” episode, telling a little girl’s stepfather, “My name is Talky Tina, and I’m going to kill you.”  The episode was a clear knockoff of the Simpson’s episode that featured a killer Krusty the Klown doll.  (“Here’s your problem, you got this thing set to ‘evil.’”)

“June Foray is not the female Mel Blanc,” said Chuck Jones.  “Mel Blanc was the male June Foray.”

To which Mel Blanc replied, “Oh yeah, well you chew your own goddamn carrots, you lazy bastard!”

At 94, she became the oldest person to win an Emmy, cited for her Mrs. Cauldron on “The Garfield Show.”  “The Garfield Show” won an Emmy?  That’s pretty fucked up right there.

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  Aw, how cute, his first hit this year.  He made his first foray onto the board.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Team Sushi: 90 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Babysitter: 10 – (June Foray – 10)

Oscar winner and star of the Mission: Impossible TV show, Martin Landau, died at the spry age of 89.

His big break came as a spy’s fabulous henchman in Alfred Hitchcock’s “North by Northwest.”  By fabulous, I mean he played a menacing gay man.  Less Rip Taylor, more Rip-your-lungs-out.

Landau once dated Marilyn Monroe.  Nothing to add to that.  Just props to da man.  (Mission: Wha-a-a-at?)

In 1955, Landau joined the Actors Studio, an organization that has always been ruled by James Lipton’s iron fist.

While there, Landau taught Jack Nicholson.  Apparently, Nicholson only showed up for

Landau

Landau with Barbara “I’m-way-out-of-your-league” Bain.

the section on eyebrows (Mission: Overacting).

His stint on Mission: Impossible was as a man of many faces.  This gave him the opportunity to play many different kinds of roles with different accents and sometimes he even played two roles in the same episode.  He was the Johnny Depp of Mission: Impossible.

After three years he and his much hotter wife, Barbara Bain (Mission: Helllooooo Nurse!), left the show.  

In the 70’s he starred in such classics as A Town Called Hell and Welcome Home, Johnny Bristol.  The 70s were hard on us all.

He always thought that his greatest work was Martin.  Not only was it such a break from his usual genres but the 90s sitcom was a seminal touchstone for 90s African-American culture.

Landau famously hated the Sheneneh character.  As did we all.

He won his Oscar for playing Bella Lugosi in the classic Tim Burton movie Ed Wood.  it was here that we learned that heroin isn’t a new problem…

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  I guess they decided to lay off the eighties for a spell.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Team Sushi: 90 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20, Martin Landau – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Father of the zombie, George A. Romero died at the spry age of 77.

“Night of the Living Dead,” ushered in a new version of horror, the-  ..the-  Braaaaiiins…..[Focus, McFeeley!  Focus!] …a new era of horror films: the Zombie flick.

The movie in itself is very simple.  No boring exposition to bog the action d- …Braaaaiinsss… [God, keep it together!] …down.  Zombies appear and you just need to be scared.  [Man, I’m hungry.]

Romero got his start in an unlikely place: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.  He did a short film for Mr. R when Rogers went in for a tonsillectomy.  There were creative differences from  beginning, but in the end, Romero acquiesced to the saintly Rogers and removed most of the blood and gore from the operation scene.

The director’s cut is available on the Mr Rogers Criterion Collection DVD set.

Romero directed Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, and Diary of the Dead.  Bar Mitzvah of the Dead was never released due to its anti-semitic nature.

But he didn’t just do “of the dead” movies.  He always thought that his greatest work was Martin.  Not only was it such a break from the horror genre but the 90s sitcom was a

Romero

Romero also invented the mosh pit.

seminal touchstone for 90s African-American culture.

Romero famously hated the Sheneneh character.  As did we all.

On Sunday, Romero died from lung cancer.

On Monday, his corpse rose and is now shambling vaguely about the greater Los Angeles area in search of brains.

He may never find any.

This hit goes to: M!  It’s her first ever hit!  Congratulations!

PS: I am well aware of the controversy over whether Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead or alive.  The most reliable source still says that he is dead.  I will remove my points if he is proven alive.  If it is still up in the air at draft time, I will remove the points.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

M: 30 – (George Romero – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)