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Actor Donnelly Rhodes died at the spry age of 80.

Rhodes will be remembered for his role on Soap (if your from the right generation) where he played escaped convict who fell in love with his cell-mate’s daughter, slept with her sister and then married her anyway… Soap was a complicated show.

Rhodes will be remembered for his role on Battlestar Galactica (if your from the right generation) where he played chain-smoking Doctor Cottle who… ah, I don’t know.  I barely remember what happened in that show.  There were Cylons, right?

Rhodes got plenty of work in his life.  You may not know him from either of those roles, but you’ve seen him.  That’s the life of a character actor.

One minute, you’re a gunslinger on some Western show (of which he was on many) and the next you’re playing a guard on Mr. Ed.

One week, you’re working with Bob Hope.  The next you have a guest spot on “Dundee and Culhane.”

He was on “Mission: Impossible,” “Ironside,” “Mannix,” and “Wonder Woman.”  He was

Rhodes

And he was one of the many guys who fucked Blanche on “Golden Girls.”

in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”  He played Super Dave Osborne’s stunt coordinator on a show called “Bizarre.”  

In the 80’s he was in episodes of “Cheers,”  “The Facts of Life,” “It’s a Living,” “Taxi,” “Magnum, PI,” and “Hill Street Blues.”

He played Mayor Garth Dokken in a TV movie called “Guitarman,” which I really, really need to see!  The description is: “A guitar playing stranger saves a small towns crops from swarms of locusts. When the job is done, the mayor won’t pay. But when the stranger drives all this kids from the town, they realize the kids are more important than they knew.”

Wait, they didn’t think kids were important?  They didn’t believe that children where their future?  Didn’t teach them well or let them lead the way?  So many questions!

I need to see this.

This hit goes to: Mary!  She gets bumped up to 2nd place with 70 points!  A mere 50 behind the leaders (who are dicks)!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Jami: 60 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Wes: 20 – (John Watts Young  -20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

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Former Governor of New Jersey, Brendan Byrne, became stiff as he ever was, stiff as he ever was, stiff as he ever was at the spry age of 93.

The man saw his name grace an arena in the Meadowlands.  Then he saw his name be replaced by the “Continental Airlines Arena” on what is now the “Izod Arena.”

God, America sucks.

Current NJ Gov., Chris Christie said “Governor Byrne had an extraordinary career of public service.”  At least that’s what we think he said.  It’s hard to understand through the meatball sub he was inhaling at the time.

Byrne was a World War II veteran who graduated from Princeton and Harvard Law School.  OK, you’re better than me… you don’t have to rub it in…

As Governor, he moved to establish an income tax to pay for public education.  But this is America: we’d rather have stupid kids than pay taxes.  So is approval rating dropped to 17%.  The worst ever in NJ history.   …hold on.  …I’m being updated here… Apparently Chris Christie’s rating was at 15% last year.  Sooooo… second worst.

Somehow, Byrne rebounded form this and got re-elected.  He said, “I knew I’d get

Byrne

Brendan Byrne, We are unsure if this photo was taken  before or after his death.

reelected when people started waving at me using all five fingers.”

Byrne also brought about the legalization of gambling for Atlantic City.  A move that he later said was his biggest mistake after seeing what a shithole Atlantic City turned into.  (Hey, kids: legalized gambling will not help your economy!)

This hit goes to Mary!  The Girl on Fire gets another 10 points to 50 and bumps her up above her daughter, Erin.

They are both beating Bean.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

Jami: 60 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20)

Girl on Fire:  50 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Wes: 20 – (John Watts Young  -20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Former professional wrestler, Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole, died at the spry age of 60.

Dole was one of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (GLOW) from the 80s.  For three years, she was part of the spandexed legion of women pretending to hurt each other.

She started as an athlete, throwing a shotput 50 feet in high school.  That’s more than ten times the distance I could throw.

She went on to be an Olympic hopeful… but the hope didn’t last.  So she did what so many overweight Samoan women did: she turned to acting.  

She was in the movie “Personal Best,” with Mariel Hemingway in 1982.  The movie was not a personal best for anyone involved.  Even the gaffer hung his head in shame.

Mt Fuji

Dole, seen here with, oh, we’ll say “Nerdy Librarian*” and “Random Green & Yellow Leotard”   (*played by Tina Fey)

She then did an episode of “Mama’s Family.”  A reprehensibly awful show based off of a very funny skit from the Carol Burnett Show.  But without Carol’s genius, the show sucked like a shop vac.

At this point, “Personal Best” remained her personal best.

Then she did an episode of “Hard Time on Planet Earth.”  About an Alien trying to adjust to life in LA.

At this point, “Personal Best” remained her personal best.

In 1989, she was involved in “The Bridal Shower Incident,” (as it came to be known).  The incident is much worse than it sounds.

Apparently, Dole and members of her family (mostly other Samoans) held a baby shower that got complaints about noise.  The police showed up, told them to keep it down, then left.

A ½ hour later, the police showed up again.  But this time, they wore riot gear.  The LAPD then started beating the crap out of members of the party for little to no reason.  Much of it was caught on video tape.  This all happened two full years before Rodney King.

Emily is seen in the footage standing in the street with her arms to the side doing nothing apparently out of fear that doing something would end in a good thrashing.

It’s knida nice to know that the LAPD were cool with discriminating against all shades of non-white.  Kinda bounds everyone with a sort of equality.  One that does not include whites though…  “It’s an any-other-color-thing, you wouldn’t understand.”

This hit goes to Jami!  Jami looked up Mt Fuji after seeing GLOW on Netflix!  Will Marc Maron’s character be next?

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

Jami: 60 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Wes: 20 – (John Watts Young  -20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

“Coach” actor Jerry Van Dyke died at the spry age of 86.

Brother of a Dick, Jerry starred in the 1966 sitcom “My Mother the Car.”  the show was about a guy whose mother is [and I’m not kidding here] reincarnated as a car.

Stop and think about that concept.  Now stop and think about the meeting where that got greenlighted.  Some TV exec was all: That’s gold, Jerry!  Gold!

Astonishingly, the show lasted a full season.  TV Guide named it the second worst TV show ever (Jerry Springer was the worst).  Obviously, TV Guide compiled their list before

JERRY VAN DYKE

His name translates to “Jerry From Lesbian.”

a) the Geico cavemen got their own show and b) The Mullets.

Van Dyke died of heart failure but  his wife told CNN he never fully recovered from a “horrible car accident” two and a half years ago in which he was “injured very badly.”

So he blames his mother.  Ya know Jerry, sometimes a car crash is just a car crash.

Jerry went on to receive four Supporting Actor nominations for his role in the TV show “Coach.”   I mean, he didn’t win or anything.  Obviously his brother would have won.  But as I mentioned earlier: his brother is a Dick.

This hit goes to Joanne!  Her second hit of the year brings her up to 30 points!  A mere 90 points behind the leader…

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Joanne: 30 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Wes: 20 – (John Watts Young  -20)

Jami: 20 – (Jim Nabors – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

American moonwalker John Watts Young died at the spry age of 87.

Young was the ninth man to walk on the moon.  It is scientific fact that walking on the moon the most impressive thing a guy can do and still not be recognized in a mall. [1]

He also got to drive the moon buggy.  Which is just fuckin’ cool.

There are now five people in the world who can tell you what it’s like to walk on the moon.  And, assuming that you already have Buzz Aldrin on your list, everyone’s 2018 Ghoul Pool list just got four names longer.

Young also flew in the Gemini Mission which has a volatile temperament, while being versatile, mysteriously unique, artistic and creative.  The missions lucky numbers were 3, 8, and 5.

Moon Buggy

No-door family car equipped with a sort of Bluetooth, gets fair mileage, good for off-roading.  Only one owner.  $15,000,000,000

Young was a navy test pilot but he was no pudnocker who dreamed about getting the hot planes.  He was a prime pilot that got all the hot planes.  

Here I am assuming that the  XF8U-3 Crusader III and the F-4 Phantom II fighter jet were the hot planes.  Anyone is free to argue against that.

Young went on to go up in two space shuttle missions in the 80s which we really didn’t care about because there was a shuttle launch, like, every week.

At the age of 74 he retired, yet he still attended NASA meetings.

God, that’s like the worst part of work: meetings!  Why would you go back after you retired!?!?!

What a pudnocker.

This hit puts Wes on the board with 20 points!  Hey, at least he’s beating Bean!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Wes: 20 – (John Watts Young  -20)

Jami: 20 – (Jim Nabors – 20)

Joanne: 10 – (Rose Marie – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Singer, actress and comedian, and Hollywood Square, Rose Marie, died at the spry age of 94.

Marie will be remembered the most for her role as comedy writer Sally Rodgers on the Dick Van Dyke Show.

Sally was an older woman who dated often and lived in a man’s world of comedy writing.  Most of her scenes were with the brilliantly named Morey Amsterdam.  

In 1961, she played a career woman that was never looked down upon or dismissed because she was a woman.  Take that, Donna Reed.

Marie started in show business at the age of three.  She had her own  national  radio show at the age of five.  In her teens, she became a lounge singer.  She claims that her

Rose Marie

I don’t know what’s going on in this picture but she’s pretty excited about it.

career was helped along by the mob.

Man, at 16 her life is already a Scorsese movie.

She performed at the Flamingo in Vegas on it’s opening night.  The hotel was built by Bugsy Siegel, whom I learned from a 1991 movie, lived a boring, uninteresting life.

By the 30s she was in records and film and starred opposite W. C. Fields in “International House.”

She had a career that spanned nine decades, she worked with iconic greats, she was tangentially related to the mob.

I can manipulate spreadsheets.

Recently a documentary about her life called “Wait for Your Laugh” came out because her life was pretty damn fascinating.

This hit goes to: Joanne!  Joanne is on the board with 10 points!  It may not seem like much, but at least it’s as many as Bean has!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Jami: 20 – (Jim Nabors – 20)

Joanne: 10 – (Rose Marie – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Ruben Cardenas Ramirez was executed for rape and murder by the state of Texas at the spry age of 47 because: Texas.

According to the Houston Chronicle,  “the case has been plagued by claims of unreliable forensic evidence, conflicting statements and witnesses, concerns about ineffective lawyers, and allegations of a coerced confession.”

But fuck that shit!  This is Texas!

The execution was controversial not because a human life was taken through institutionalized murder, but because he was a Mexican.

I guess this was the guy that gave Trump the impression that all Mexicans are rapists and murderers.  Even though he may have been innocent.

Mexico banned capitol punishment because, you know… killing people isn’t right and a significant percentage of death row inmates are innocent.  Because of this, Texas violated

Ruben Cardenas Ramirez

Look out!  He’s Mexican!

a UN ruling about the treatment of Mexican prisoners in the US.

Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto tweeted, “Expreso mi firme condena a la ejecución del mexicano Rubén Cárdenas Ramírez en Texas, que viola decisión de la Corte Internacional de Justicia. Mi más sentido pésame a los deudos.”

I’m a little in the dark because that has nothing to do with the location of a library, but he seems pretty pissed.

Ramirez left a written statement that said “Now! I will not and cannot apologize for someone else’s crime, but, I will be Back for Justice.  You can count on that!”

Bitch gonna haunt the state of Texas!  Haunting for justice!

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Yes, they are the new dicks in town with 120 points, giving them an 80 point lead.

Dicks.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 120 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Jami: 20 – (Jim Nabors – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Well surprise, surprise, surprise, Jim Nabors died at the spry age of 87.

Nabors got his break when Andy Griffith discovered him performing and cast him for his show as Gomer Pyle, an idiot gas station attendant.  

The idiot was so popular, he got his own spinoff.  Ain’t that the American way?  Idiocy begets success.  Can anyone think of another example of an idiot becoming a success?

In Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., Pyle joins the Marines (as the initials may have given away).  But in real life, the Marine Corp would have eaten Pyle alive.  I’m sorry, but Jim Nabors was never bad-ass enough to make it as a Marine.  The Navy, maybe.

Nabors resigned after five seasons so they cancelled the show.  I mean, they couldn’t pull

Photo of Jim Nabors

Hey baby, wanna tip some cows?

a “Hogan Family” situation like they did to Valerie Harper.

After leaving, Nabors pursued a singing career.  You see, this professional hayseed had one hell of a baritone voice.  He recorded 28 albums, four of which went gold and one which went platinum.  (That means they sold a lot.)

While his voice was wonderful, his choice in music was horrendous.  I mean, he only did some country.  Generally he stuck to sappy love songs.

His Christmas album is just hard to listen to.  I mean, just fucking horrible.

In 1979 he made his greatest contribution to Pop Culture when he was featured in the Song “Nobody Home” by Pink Floyd on the classic this-album-encapsulates-my-teenage-angst album, “The Wall.”

Generations of teenage boys know him from “When I pick up the phone… (Surprise, Surprise, Surprise) …there’s still nobody home.”  [He did the “surprises.”]

This hit puts Jami on the board!  She now has only half the points that Erin has!  But at least she’s doubled Bean’s score.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 60 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Jami: 20 – (Jim Nabors – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

70s heart throb (he throbbed a lot of hearts) and Keith Partridge, David Cassidy, died at the spry age of 67.

In 1956, Dave found out that his parent got divorced.  In 1954.  Yeah.  They got divorced and didn’t tell him until… well, the never told him.  He found out on the playground.  Literally.

That’s some good parenting.

Soon after, Dave’s father married Shirley Jones.  And now Dave had a totally hot stepmom.  Talk about a confusing childhood.

In the 70s, after a few small spots on shows like “Ironsides,” he got a gig as Keith Partridge in the show “The Partridge Family,” with his hot stepmom playing his mom.

The show was about this man, Rubin, who happened to manage a family of singers who drove around in a bus painted by Piet Mondrian.   Now you’re gonna hafta google Piet Mondrian.  It’s OK.  I’ll wait.

The series produced 70s pop hits like “I think I Love You,” which is a terrible song that I

Cassidy

“We rushed the stage for that loser?”

will absolutely sing along with at the top of my lungs in the car.

Cassidy was propelled to superstardom with ten Partridge Family albums and five solo albums.  He became such a draw that he sold out two shows at the Astrodome and he sold out a show at Wembley Stadium (a venue named after a Fraggle).

Things came to a head for David when a teenage girl was killed by a crowd rush in London in 1974.  Thirty years later, the girls who rushed the stage saw how Cassidy turned out and hated themselves for the rest of their lives.

In the aughts, Cassidy started a new hobby: collecting DUIs.  

This hit has been a long time coming.  Not because it’s David Cassidy.  But because it was Erin’s first ever hit!!!!!

Erin went through the whole of last year with zero points.  A fact that I was happy to point out all year long.

Now, I am proud to say that Erin has a full FORTY POINTS!  Huzzah!  Let’s all spend the weekend celebrating this great moment in Ghoul Pool history!  May it be the first of many hits!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 60 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40)

ERIN: 40 (David Cassidy – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)

Della Reese was touched by the angel of death at the spry age of 86.

Reese was best known for her role in the TV show “Touched by an Angel.”  The show was sentimental drivel cloaked in religion so that people would take offence when you criticized how bad it was… and it was bad.

The show also starred Roma Downey, an Irish woman who was hot enough to hook a few guys into watching something religious for an hour.

Reese was also a gospel and jazz singer who was discovered by Mahalia Jackson.  Yeah, you don’t know who the hell Mahalia Jackson was.  But she was great.  That’s all you need to know for now.

In 1953 she was signed with Jubilee Records where she recorded six albums.

reese

Della– Helloooooo, NURSE!

And you thought that she was just some angel’s boss.

In 1969 she had a talk show called “Della.”  This only lasted 197 episodes.  I guess she was no Donaohue.  

She was also the 1st black woman to guest host the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.  Remember that?  Guest hosts?  Now they just let everyone go on vacation every two weeks.

She was on a lot of shows here and there like “Chico and the Man,” “Night Court,” “LA Law,” and “Designing Women.”  But her greatest role was when she played the mother of Mr. T’s character, B. A. Baracus, on the A-Team.

It was there that Mr. T (“Mr.,” to his friends) was inspired to write a special rap about mothers.  A special rap that goes… a little something… like this:

This hit goes to: Mary!  The Girl on Fire has her 2nd hit of the year!

To learn more about Mahalia Jackson, visit your local library.  (The more you know…)

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 60 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40)

Girl on Fire:  40 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20)

Josh: 30 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  10 (Bobby Doerr – 10)