Till Death Do Us Part

George Schappell, one of the oldest conjoined twins died at the spry age of 62.

There was no comment from his twin sister, Lori.

George was the subject of several notable documentaries and pursued a separate career from his sister.

The twins had distinct brains but were joined at the skull. 

George, who had spina bifida and was 4 inches shorter, was wheeled around by Lori on an adaptive wheeled stool. That’s the life: have your sibling do all the walking for you.

George, with his sister, Lori.

Despite each having to go where the other went, it was “very important” to both to live as independently as possible… while being, literally, attached together.

Both graduated from a public high school and took college classes. 

In 1996 Goerge launched a country music career.  (I’m guessing his big hit was “Stuck on You.”)

George came out as transgender in 2007, which I am pretty sure made him the only transgender conjoined twin in the history of everything.

“Since the age of 24, they have maintained their own residence and have traveled extensively,” their obituary notice said. 

Over the years, they appeared in many documentaries and talk shows, as well as in an episode of the FX medical drama Nip/Tuck

This hit goes to: Toto Lover!  Dave gets 40 more points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Toto Lover: 140 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10, Lori Schappell – 40, George Schappell  – 40)

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 60 – (Peter Angelos – 10, OJ – 40, Whitey Herzog – 10, Carl Erskine – 10)

Josh: 40 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10, Louis Gossett, Jr. – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

Till Death Do Us Part

Lori Schappell, one of the oldest conjoined twins died at the spry age of 62.

There was no comment from her twin brother, George.

Lori was the subject of several notable documentaries and pursued a separate career from her brother.

The twins had distinct brains but were joined at the skull. 

George, who had spina bifida and was 4 inches shorter, was wheeled around by Lori on an adaptive wheeled stool. That’s the life: have your sibling do all the walking for you.

Lori, with her brother, George.

Despite each having to go where the other went, it was “very important” to both to live as independently as possible… while being, literally, attached together.

Both graduated from a public high school and took college classes. 

Lori worked for six years in a hospital laundry. 

She was “a trophy-winning bowler.”  Here I have to assume the trophy was for best bowler with a sibling on a stool attached to them… or something of the sort.  

“Since the age of 24, they have maintained their own residence and have traveled extensively,” their obituary notice said. 

Over the years, they appeared in many documentaries and talk shows, as well as in an episode of the FX medical drama Nip/Tuck

This hit goes to: Toto Lover!  Dave gets 40 more points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 100 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10, Lori Schappell – 40)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 60 – (Peter Angelos – 10, OJ – 40, Whitey Herzog – 10, Carl Erskine – 10)

Josh: 40 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10, Louis Gossett, Jr. – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

Dat Bum

One of the last great Brooklyn Baseball players, Carl Erskine, died at the spry age of 97.

Erskine was a part of  the Brooklyn Dodgers in the 50s.  The team was known at the time as “dem bums”.  They were probably called bums because they were so lazy, they only won four pennants and one world series.

The original team name was The Brooklyn Trolly Dodgers.  ‘Cuz Brooklyn had trolleys back then.  And pedestrians had to dodge them.  Or get run over.  Which would most likely kill them.

Then in 1958, the team did the unthinkable: they moved to LA.  In LA, the team name had absolutely zero meaning.  A tradition that continues today.

Erskine had his best season in 1953, when he went 20-6 to lead the National League. He won Game 3 of the World Series, beating the Yankees 3-2 at Ebbets Field. He struck out 14 in a World Series game, a record that was held for 10 years.

Erskine giving the…wait, is the the White Power sign?!?!

So: he was good.

And man, beating the Yankees in a World Series game… that’s gotta feel good.

Erskine’s death leaves the 88-year-old Sandy Koufax (no relation to Sandy Duncan) as the lone surviving player of the 1955 Dodgers.  The World Series team was known as “The Boys of Summer” (no relation to Don Henley).

After retiring from Baseball, he moved back to his hometown in Indiana and opened an insurance company.

Sounds like a sad end for a Baseball Hall of Famer.  The only thing worse than selling insurance is selling cars.

This hit goes to… well who the hell do you think is gonna have a Brooklyn Dodger on his list?  Dave?  So Tailgating with Jesus gets another 10 points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 60 – (Peter Angelos – 10, OJ – 40, Whitey Herzog – 10, Carl Erskine – 10)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Josh: 40 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10, Louis Gossett, Jr. – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

Kill Whitey!

Baseball Hall of Famer who managed the St. Louis Cardinals to the 1982 World Series title with a style of play known as “Whiteyball,” Whitey Herzog died at the spry age of 92.

I can only assume that Whiteyball was just regular baseball but without minorities.

He led the Cardinals to three pennants, winning the World Series once.  But don’t be sad: one outta three ain’t bad.  …or is it two outta three?  Maybe you should be sad…

Herzog looking exactly like you would expect a guy called Whitey to look like.

Herzog relied on a strong bullpen to keep the score down and the fans bored.  A typical win for the Cards at the time was a one-run victory. 

Americans hate low-scoring games.  (See: Soccer)

“They (the media) seemed to think there was something wrong with the way we played baseball, with speed and defense and line-drive hitters,” Herzog wrote in his memoir.

I think the exclusion of minorities would be at the top of that list but…. Whatever, Whitey.

The light-haired Herzog was named “The White Rat” because of his resemblance to Yankees pitcher Bob “The White Rat” Kuzava.

Kuzava was the white-haired player who was famously killed for turning state’s evidence against the Gambino crime family.  (He tried to escape by dressing in drag and joining an all-woman band headed toward Miami… but that story would take me about 121 minutes to tell…)

In 1983, Herzog traded Keith Hernandez to the Mets for two loser pitchers.  Today, we thank him for that.

This hit goes to: Tailgating with Jesus!  Bean gets another 10 points on the board!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Peter Angelos – 10, OJ – 40, Whitey Herzog – 10)

Josh: 40 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10, Louis Gossett, Jr. – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

If the Coffin Fits…

Football player, actor, and murderer, Oranthal James Simpson (no relation to Homer), died at the spry age of 76.

Full of vitamin C, Simpson did a lot of football stuff that we no longer care about.  He played for… someone.  The Tennessee Ill-fitting Gloves?

He later went on to act in movies like The Towering Inferno and the Naked Gun series.  But again: we no longer care.

All we really care about is the fact that Simpson, who was made from concentrate, went and murdered two people and got away with it.

OJ Simpson’s funeral procession.

In 1994, the world stopped to watch a slow car chase through Los Angeles as his buddy, Al Cowlings drove OJ around in a white Ford Bronco for two hours and they were followed by more cops than the Blues Brothers.

95 million Americans tuned in to watch this.  Fans gathered along the freeway to cheer Simpson on.  It wasn’t so much that they liked murder.  It was more an illustration of the role police played in the lives of black people in LA.  (For more information, I refer you to the song, “Fuck the Police,” by N.W.A.)

The trial was headline news every day.  And I mean it.  Every.  Damned.  Day.  America became obsessed with every aspect of the trial.  The prosecuting and defending attorneys alike became celebrities.  

One of the defense attorneys was someone named Kardashian.  Yes, that Kardashian.  Because of OJ, we have shitty TV about his goddamn pointless family.  (That’s the real crime.)

America learned who Kato Kaelin was.  That’s information that literally no one should have known!

The trial was televised and got some serious ratings, spurning Court TV and more crap like that.

The Tonight Show (hosted by the lame-ass Jay Leno at the time) had a recurring skit where dancers came out dressed as the judge of the trial, Lance Ito.  That shit was being considered as comedy.

When it was announced that there was a verdict, the world stopped again.  I mean: it stopped in full.  I worked at a call center and every phone went quiet.

As you may have inferred with the “got away with it” portion, OJ was found innocent.

He said that he would tirelessly look for the real killer when he was released.  He spent the next few years scouring every golf course that he could in that pursuit.

Simpson, shown here looking at the hands that killed his ex-wife and her boyfriend.

What he should have done was go on some bullshit self-help retreat so he could find himself.

He ended up in jail for some… I don’t know… he got into some bullshit about sports collectibles in Vegas or something.  Again: I really don’t care.

And now, the real killer is dead.

This hit goes to: Bean!  Tailgating with Jesus is up to 40 points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 40 – (Peter Angelos – 10, OJ – 40)

Josh: 40 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10, Louis Gossett, Jr. – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

An Officer and a Dead Man

Oscar winner, actor of stage, screen, and larger screen, Louis Gossett, Jr. died at the spry age of 87.

Gossett is best known for his Oscar-winning performance in An Officer and A Gentleman (1982) as Gunnery Sergeant Emil Foley, whose tough training transforms recruit Richard Gere into the man of the film’s title. 

He was the first black winner of an Academy Award for best supporting actor, and only the third black actor (after Hattie McDaniel and Sidney Poitier) to take home any Oscar.  Because, you know… racism.

Gossett is also known for the classic 80s schlock-fest, Iron Eagle, and the subsequent sequel: Iron Eagle 2.

Gosset, rocking a shirt that I would look ridiculous in.

In Iron Eagle, Gossett helps an 18 year-old steal fighter planes to go get the kid’s father who was shot down in an “Arab country,” before he’s executed for… trespassing?

You can see why Gen-X males love it.  War, testosterone, fighter jets,… testosterone…

Gossett was also active in the Greenwich Village folk music scene. With songs likeHooka Dooka, Green Green in 1964, followed by See See Rider,and the anti-war hit Handsome Johnny.

I was very surprised about this.  Mark it up to the tiny amount I knew about Louis Gossett, Jr.

This hit goes to: Breault J. Simpson!!! Josh draft he’s a mere 90 points behind the leader.

It should be noted that Louis was drafted twice: once as Louis Gosset Jr., by Josh in the 35th round, and once by Pirate as Lou Gossett Jr in round 58.  Because of the different spellings, the spreadsheet did not notice this.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Josh: 40 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10, Louis Gossett, Jr. – 20)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 10 – (Peter Angelos – 10)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

He’s With the Angelos Now…

Lawyer and former owner of the Baltimore Orioles, Peter Angelos, died at the spry age of 94.

Angelos made his money as an attorney who sued the makers of asbestos… or the people who used it?  …the installers of it?  Maybe Franklin J. Asbestos, the inventor?  I’m not really sure, nor do I have the will to research it further.

But he sued somebody over asbestos.  He walked away with $100 million in his pocket from that.

In 1993, he bought the Baltimore Orioles (a team that I have often stated that has one of the dumbest names in all of sports) for $173 million.

Angelos, shown here being a rich, old, white man.

During the 1994-95 baseball strike, Angelos refused to hire scabs to play for his team.  This action led to Cal Ripkin, Jr’s ability to break Lou Gherig’s consecutive game record.

Lou Gherig was unavailable for comment.

Earlier this year, the team was sold for $1.7 billion.  So: pretty good investment.

This hit goes to: Tailgating w/ Jesus!  Bean makes it on the board with a whopping 10 points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

Josh: 20 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 10 – (Peter Angelos – 10)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

Little Dead Man

The guy who played that old guy in that thing, M. Emmet Walsh, died at the spry age of 88.

He was a veteran character actor who appeared in more than 150 films including “Blade Runner,” “Blood Simple” and “Knives Out.”  Betcha ya guess which of those movies I hated?

Walsh appeared in a wide range of films.  From “Little Big Man” to “What’s Up, Doc?” to “Slap Shot” and “The Jerk.”  (He hated those cans.)

Film critic Roger Ebert (oh, how we miss Roger…) created the “Stanton-Walsh Rule,” which held that no movie featuring either Harry Dean Stanton or M. Emmet Walsh in a supporting role can be altogether bad.  

Walsh, shown here embodying the entire MAGA movement.

Ebert admitted it wasn’t an infallible rule.  “Fletch,” “Back to School,” and “Twilight,” all illustrated that it was not an infallible rule.

“Emmet came to set with two things:” some guy tweeted, “a copy of his credits, which was a small-type single spaced double column list of modern classics that filled a whole page, & two-dollar bills which he passed out to the entire crew.  ‘Don’t spend it and you’ll never be broke.’ Absolute legend.”

I mean, if he came with two $100 dollar bills for each of the crew: now that would be legend.

In 2018, Walsh was inducted into the Character Actor Hall of Fame which, apparently, is a thing.

This hit goes to:  Jami!!!

Jami of Normal Voice is up to 30 points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Jami of Normal Voice: 30 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10, M. Emmet Walsh – 20)

Josh: 20 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10),

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

Red Solo© Coffin

Jingoistic country “music” singer, Toby Keith, died at the spry age of 62.

The seven-time Grammy-nominated superstar’s songs included “As Good as I Once Was,” “Should’ve Been a Cowboy,” “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American),” and his career-high hit “Red Solo Cup,” 

“Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” was a reaction to the 9/11 attacks that included gems like the Statue of Liberty shaking her fist, presumably to tell the terrorists to get off the lawn.

The song went on to say that putting a “we’ll boot up your ass / It’s the American way.”

This shit probably made the terrorists crack up over how dumb America is.

Kieth, shown here being a down-home country boy that you can have a beer with at the local line-dancing joint with the Confederate battle flag proudly hanging on the wall.

On top of this, the song completely ignores the Oxford Comma, leading people to believe that it is courtesy of the red and also the white and blue together, but not the white individually or the blue individually.  This undermines how the whole song—

Perhaps I should digress.

But Keith did more than sing.  He wrote and starred (along with bastion of sanity, Ted Nugent) in his own movie: Beer for My Horses.

The movie currently has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with one reviewer quipping: “A hayseed hodgepodge of cliched plotting, racist stereotyping, vulgar humor, cartoonish acting, clumsy drama, and shameless product placement.”

But is it the Citizen Kane of movies about getting equines drunk?

This hit goes to Team Sushi!

It also came to my attention that I accidentally gave Wes points for Anna Cardwell when it was Team Sushi’s hit.  It’s not like it was a big mistake or anything…  So: screw them for taking such a big lead!!!

Happy Pooling and the Oxford Comma rules!,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 130 – (Joyce Randolph – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80, Toby Keith – 40)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Josh: 20 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

Wes: 10 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10),

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)Jami of Normal Voice: 10 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10)

Now She Don’t Live in America

The three-time Tony Award-winning Broadway legend Chita Rivera 91.

Chita (not Cheetah) appeared in more than 20 Broadway musicals over six decades, making her a Broadway mainstay, like Cats.  But she was good.  Cats was not.

Rivera started as a ballet dancer who got a full scholarship to the School of American Ballet in New York. 

But when she went with a friend to an audition for the tour of the Broadway show Call Me Madam, Rivera got the job. Rivera then said, and I believe this is an actual quote: “Fuck ballet!”

Rivera, shown here with an odd, asymmetric hairstyle.

In 1957, she landed her breakout role, Anita in West Side Story, with a score by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim.  The show bombed and no one has heard of it since.

She was also in “Bye Bye Birdie,” (about freeing a canary into the wild), “Guys and Dolls,” (about men who play with Barbies) “Chicago” (about inferior pizza) and “Kiss of the Spider Woman” (a show about a man’s forbidden love for a lady arachnid).

This hit goes to: Gianna!  It makes total sense for Gianna to get the points of a Broadway legend.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Wes: 90 – (Rosalynn Carter – 10, Anna “Chikadee” Cardwell – 80)

Toto Lover: 60 – (Eric Montross – 50, Bill Hayes – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 40 – (Shane MacGowan – 40)

Josh: 20 – (Sandra Day O’Connor – 10, Shecky Greene – 10)

송지효!!!: 20 – (Marty Krofft – 20)

John Water’s Daughter: 10 – (Chita Rivera – 10)

Rowe Rowe Rowe Your Boat: 10 – (Bill McColl – 10)

Jami of Normal Voice: 10 – (Frances Sternhagen – 10)

Team Sushi: 10 – (Joyce Randolph – 10)