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Cardinal (ball player, not priest in red) and the oldest living Hall of Famer (formerly), Red Schoendienst has shown his last dienst because he died at the spry age or 95.

The Thriving New York Times refers to Schoendienst as a “latter-day Huckleberry Finn.”  Um, have you seen how old he was? I don’t think that any of his days were latter. He may have been the Huck Finn.

The oldest living Hall of Famer is now Tommy Lasorda.  Wait? That fat-fuck is still alive? I was amazed that he survived the eighties!

Between playing, managing and coaching, Schoendienst worked for a solid 74 years.  74 years! That’s what people’s life expectancy is in Paraguay! [Google it.]

I bet in that time, he got into some major shenanigans.  I mean, not dead-hooker in the trunk kind of shenanigans [technically, I think that ranks above a shenanigan], but I’m sure that monkey-shines were involved somewhere… drunken brawls?  wild orgies?

Red

Schoendienst on the cover of an 1829 Sports Illustrated.

Let’s see… married for 52 years… baseball, baseball… 10 grandkids… baseball, baseball…

Nothin’.  Man, Red was pretty boring.  Unless you count 74 years in the majors as exciting.  I guess that’s pretty cool.

This hit goes to: Tailgating with Jesus!  Bean is continuing his strategy of getting 10 points a hit.  

Just 25 hits away from the lead there, buddy!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  30 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10, Red Schoendienst – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

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Star of “Over the Rainbow,” “Dahmer vs Gacy,” the last surviving munchkin from “The Wizard of Oz,” and all around short guy, Jerry Maren died at the spry age of 93.

Maren wasn’t some background munchkin.  He was part of the motherfuckin’ Lollipop Guild!  He was the one who handed Judy Garland the lollipop!  He was a STAR!

At his last meeting with the 2nd-to-last surviving munchkin, Ruth Duccini, Jerry hugged his teary-eyed fellow alum and said, “Ruth, I don’t want to be last. You do it.”

To which she said: “Eat it, BITCH!” and died.  And she said it like Jesse Pinkman too. She was big into Breaking Bad.

A large group of midgets (I can still say that, right? No?  OK, little people) were hired to play munchkins for “The Wizard of Oz” (TWoO to the unhealthily obsessed).  They allegedly partied and tore up their hotel.

This rumor was started by that bitch, Judy Garland.

THE WIZARD OF OZ, from left: Jerry Maren, Harry Earles, 1939

Maren in the middle, the only one with his real hair.

In a 1967 interview Garland was in obvious altered states (very unlike the stone-cold-sober star). In the interview, she branded them all “drunks” and a few of the Munchkin actors said they were not inclined to forgive.  

When reached for comment, Maren said, “And I gave you a lollipop, you feckless bitch!”  [Only he didn’t say “bitch.” He said THE word. The C dash-dash-dash Samantha Bee word.]

This reputation was further reinforced in the not-so-classic film “Under the Rainbow.”

For those unfamiliar, “Under the Rainbow,” was a “comedy” about an assassination attempt/Nazi spy ring set with the backdrop of a hotel full of munchkins.  

It starred Chevy Chase.

And it is worse than you are imagining… but it also featured Jerry Maren!

He is survived by Marc Maron.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Gianna: 10 (Jerry Maren – 10)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Former 49ers receiver, Dwight Clark, died from ALS at the spry age of 61.

Take a wild guess which assholes picked him…

Former teammate Roger Craig talked about a get together with Clark and the rest of the team.  “We cried, we all got a taste of Dwight.” [actual quote]

Soooo…. Did they all gather around and give him a blowjob?  Is that the prize for being diagnosed with ALS? Thirty guys show up to suck you off?  

You know what?  Not worth it. ALS is such a terrible way to die.  30 blowjobs doesn’t cover that check.

It is believed that his ALS stemmed from the punishing his head received in the NFL.

When reached for comment, the NFL said, “…this NFL?  Wasn’t it when he was with the Nice Flower League?”

When reached for comment, the Nice Flower League said, “yeah, they do this all the time.  See, we don’t actually exist, so their story is flimsy at best.”

Clark caught some ball in some game and the catch was very famous.  Blah blah blah.

Clark

Clark on the day of his retirement with… is that Babe Ruth?

In his time playing for the 49ers, he created many statistics.

After that, he retired.

Clark’s wife has begun petitioning that ALS no longer be called “Lou Gehrig’s Disease,” and changed to “Dwight Clark’s Disease.”  Honestly, I don’t think she’s going to get anywhere with that campaign.

This hit goes to: Those jackasses who already had a 100 point lead.

Sheesh, give us a break already!  I mean, normally, I’m all about: damn, good pick!  But 130 of their points stem from Texas being a brutal-ass state that kills indiscriminately (a word which is used here as an of an exaggeration).

Maybe I’m just jealous.  Maybe it’s Maybelline.

All I know is, now Deb and Damion can get the hell off my back.  It’s not like I’m paid to do this.  I have a real job too…

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 270 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70, Dwight Clark – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Actor and all around white guy, Robert Mandan died at the spry age of 86.

Mandan was always on hand to play a rich white guy, a bombastic layer, a rich white guy, an older white doctor or a rich white guy.  Rich white guy was his wheelhouse.

Mandan was born in Clever, Missouri.  A town that, seriously, was named because it’s  young community’s residents were friendly and wise.

I’m kinda surprised that this method of naming a town never took off.  There is no, Redneck, Alabama. No Hippie, Washington. No Asshole, Texas.  There’s not even a White

ROBERT MANDAN

This was his “Rich White Guy” look.

People, Vermont.

Just to be sure: I Googled it.

Mandan will be best remembered for his role as Chester Tate, a rich white guy who was a womanizer who kept cheating on his large-breasted wife.

Chester confesses to murder, escapes prison before getting off on an insanity plea, sleeps around, gets a divorce, suffers from amnesia after a failed operation and marries his daughter’s friend.

And that was a pretty tame story line for Soap.

This hit goes to: Mary!  She edges closer to triple digits and now has 90 points!

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 230 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  90 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20, Robert Mandan – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

The last living member of the Apollo 12 mission to the moon, Alan Bean, died at the spry age of 86.

Bean was the 5th man to walk on the moon.  But no one cares because he wasn’t the 1st.  Neil Armstrong: we all know that guy. Alan Bean… isn’t he that comedian on that British show?

When not hurtling through space, Bean spent most of his time alone, his only companion was Teddy, a little, brown teddy bear.

But he did get into some shenanigans in his time, like when he strapped an armchair to the top of his car and rigged it so that he could drive around town on it.

And there was that time when he accidentally grabbed that baby at the fair… good times.

But antics and hijinx aside, don’t you think that we should know the names of the people who walked on the moon?  I mean, there’s only 12 of them. They should all be household

bean

Alan Bean.  (As far as I know.)

names.

To be clear: I’m not sitting here all holier than thou about this.  I don’t know their names! I know Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Alan Bean.

And next week, I’ll only remember the 1st two.

These men walked on the face of a celestial object!

Man, we’re dumb.

This hit goes to: Wes!  This brings him up to 60 points.  He remains in 6th place, a mere 170 points behind the leaders.

Happy Pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 230 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 60 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20, Alan Bean – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

A man who may or may not have committed murder, Juan Castillo, was executed at the spry age of 37.

Castillo was executed for the 2003 robbery and murder of Tommy Garcia Jr. in San Antonio.  

Prosecutors said Castillo and three others lured Garcia to a secluded area in 2003 to rob him by promising him sex with one of Castillo’s female accomplices. When Garcia tried to run, Castillo shot him, according to the accomplices.
Wait, really?  That’s it? He killed one guy (assuming he’s guilty) and he gets killed for it?  Shouldn’t the death penalty be for people who murder children while raping the family pet or some shit like that?  Shouldn’t it be for the absolute worst offenders?

I don’t mean to belittle the life of his victim, it’s a terrible thing that Castillo may or may not have done.  But the death penalty? Isn’t that a little to Hammurabi’s Code?

The Texas Defender Service, a capital defense group who had recently picked up Castillo’s case, wanted to fully investigate claims they said discredited the prosecution’s evidence against Castillo — including recanted statements and video of police interrogations that contradict testimony at trial.

So, there’s actual evidence that this guy was innocent, Texas kills him, and a murderer goes free.

Fuck Texas!

Castillo

If he gets exonerated, do you think Texas will say, “My bad?”  Yeah, probably not.

And fuck the death penalty!

Man, we live in a barbaric country.

This hit goes to: Team Sushi!  Those jerk-wads get another 70 points, putting them 100 points ahead of second place.  We must take them down.

They also have me debating a Death Row rule for next year.  I mean, where’s the fun in seeing possibly innocent people murdered by the state.

Chances are I won’t instate it because I like to keep things simple.  I don’t know…. I’ll keep y’all up to date on that.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

PS: It’s OK that you didn’t know the title was a take on a Lawrence of Arabia quote.  No, really.

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 230 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40, Juan Castillo – 70)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Author, satirist, social commentator, and pioneer of New Journalism who tore into class status with a burning cynical wit, Tom Wolfe, died at the spry age of 88.

Wolfe was originally known for writing in-depth essays about specific American cultures.  He wrote about hot-rodders and their origins from the moonshining days of Prohibition in 1965s “The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby.”  His essay about rich WASPs of the New York City elite who attended Leonard Bernstein’s Black Panthers fundraising party can be found in “Radical Chic & Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers.”  He wrote about hippies on acid in “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.”

He also had some of the best book titles.

While most authors were writing about their own experiences, Wolfe preferred to keep his pen trained on others, and their often ridiculous behavior.  (“America is a wonderful country! I mean it! The human comedy never runs out of material! It never lets you down!”)

In “Radical Chic,” Wolfe skewed the comical clash of cultured by asking:  “Do Panthers

Tom Wolfe_sm

You don’t wear a suit like that to a spaghetti dinner.  You just don’t.

like little Roquefort cheese morsels rolled on crushed nuts this way, and asparagus tips in mayonnaise dabs, and meatballs petites au Coq Hardi, all of which are at the very moment being offered to them on gadrooned silver platters by maids in black uniforms with hand-ironed white aprons?”

In “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test,” he hung out with author Ken Kesey (“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”) and the Merry Pranksters as they spread their message of LSD throughout the nation.  (Their message was: Take LSD. Ken Kesey was no Nancy Reagan.)

The book is often cited as one of the first examples of “New Journalism,” where writers immersed themselves in the stories and write in the style of long-form non-fiction.  Wolfe presented fact in a form that was usually reserved for fiction: the novel.

He wrote extensively about life in the Mercury Space program in 1979s “The Right Stuff.”  Which was eventually made into an amazing movie whose name escapes me right now… I’ll have to get back to you on that.  It was in reading that book that I realized that if Wolfe wrote about the history of gum wrappers, it would be fascinating.

Wolfe also wrote my all-time favorite book, “The Bonfire of the Vanities,” which is considered to be the seminal wbook about the 80s.

The book’s scope explores the lives of different social strata in New York City (the book takes you from a bond trading floor on Wall Street to holding cells in the Bronx) in the 80s.  And Wolfe kept a caustic attitude towards everyone.

When commenting on American Men’s fashions in Bonfire he wrote, ““The Yanks always wore neckties that leapt out in front of their shirts, as if to announce the awkwardness to follow.”

Bonfire

Read this book!  My friend Dawn loved it!

I just love that line.

The socialite women who wished they were anorexic (“Sherman swore he could see light through her sternum”) that he called “Social X-Rays,” who congregated in “Conversation Bouquets,” vying for the most interesting “Conversational Nuggets.”  

The man could coin a phrase.  He coined the 70s as “The Me Decade.”  He also coined “pushing the envelope,” “balls-out,” and “catching flak.”
Not everyone liked or even respected Wolfe.  In a review for “A Man in Full,” Norman Mailer said, it “can even be said to resemble the act of making love to a three-hundred pound woman. Once she gets on top, it’s over. Fall in love, or be asphyxiated.”

To which Wolfe replied  “All I got out of that is the fact that Norman has made love to a lot of three-hundred-pound women.”

This hit goes to: ME!  I started picking Tom Wolfe when I realized how fucking old he was.  It was a Jami-picking-George-Michael kind of thing. If he dies, someone’s gotta get the points.  And that someone should be me!

The good news: this doubles my score!  The bad news: I am doing so poorly that a 20-point hit can double my score.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 40 (Milos Foreman – 20, Tom Wolfe – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Star of “Redemption: For Robbing the Dead,” “Love at First Kill,” “Adventures in Rainbow Country” and “Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx,” Margot Kidder, died at the spry age of 69.

In the 70’s, after starring in “The Great Waldo Pepper,” and “The Reincarnation of Peter Proud,” Kidder wanted to prove that she was more than just the star of “The Best Damn Fiddler from Calabogie to Kaladar.”

She did this when she was cast as Lois Lane in “Superman: The Movie.”  [Awww… look how quaint they were back then: having to point out that it’s a comic book movie.]

In the greatest Superman movie (Superman II), Kidder delivered one of the absolute lamest burns in the history of cinema when she said to Ursa, “You know something? You’re a real pain in the neck!” before killing her.  Really? That was all they could come up with?

This was the worst ever burn-delivered-while-killing-someone until Halle Berry asked “Do you know what happens to toads when they get hit by lightning?” in X-Men in 2000.

kidder

Kidder and her two true loves: The Blues Brothers and not wearing a bra.

In 1996, a virus infected her computer and caused her to lose three years worth of writing. After a data-retrieval company failed to restore her lost work, Kidder became manic depressive, convinced that the federal government and her then-husband were plotting to kill her.

But who hasn’t thought that the government was out to kill them?  I’m pretty sure the CIA is watching me right now.

In mid-April, Kidder ended up in downtown L.A., dirty and without her purse [she had thrown it away because she thought it held a bomb] and met a homeless man who vowed to look after her. She survived a rape attempt the next day, in which another homeless man kicked her in the stomach and also knocked caps off of her front teeth.  So… good job, homeless-guy-who-vowed-to-look-after-her.

Ever since then, she’s been a Ghoul Pool staple.

And that’s why the newly-moved Joanne gets 40 points!  Yes, Joanne has abandoned us here in the North Country, but she wants us to remember her through her Ghoul Pool hits!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

Joanne: 90 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20, Margot Kidder – 40)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! Scorekeeper Emeritus and professional answering machine voice recorder, Carl Kasell, died at the spry age of 84.

Kasell became an established journalist working for those commies over at NPR.  

He delivered the news in a steady baritone on All Things Considered [a show that considered all things] and Morning Edition [which I think aird in the evening].

Over the years he became known as one of the most trusted journalists in America [at least to a bunch of latte-chugging, Volvo-driving, tree-hugging, peace-monkeys].

In 1998, he threw all that out the window to become the judge and scorekeeper to the show Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me.  The NPR news quiz.

How exciting does that sound?  An NPR News quiz.  [It’s actually awesome and one for

kasell

Kasell, shown here posing very awkwardly with Wait Wait host Peter Sagal

my favorite podcasts.]

For years the main prize on the show was having Carl Kasell’s voice on your answering machine.  With the changing times they had to change that prize to Carl Kasell’s voice on your voicemail.

Kasell recorded outgoing messages for over 2,000 faithful NPR listeners.

And soon I will tell you who got this hit.  But first:

Kasell is survived by NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions – Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Tyler Green. Our intern – that’s Layne Gerbig. Our web guru is Beth Novey. BJ Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills and Miles Doornbos. Special thanks this week to Dutron (ph) and Julia Weiss. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of WAIT WAIT… DON’T TELL ME is Michael Danforth.

This hot goes to: The Mumblers!  This is Noah & Lee’s first hit this year!  They’re on the board for stealing a name from Jami!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

The Mumblers: 20 – (Carl Kassel – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)

Former 1st Lady and pearl wearer, Barbara Bush, died a at the spry age of 92.

Bab’s story began when the Angelos met the Saxons: She was seriously white.  

Like, her family was one of the “First Families” of Boston white.  In the 1600s.

She was a descendant of President Frankie Pierce, she grew up on a tree-lined street in the wealthy suburb or Rye, NY.  She was Presbyterian.

She wore figgin’ pearls!  That is, literally, the whitest necklace ever!  On multiple levels!

If you cut her, she bled actual blue blood.

When Babs was 16, she met her future husband… at a country club.  

At a country club in Greenwich, CT!!!!

Babs Bush

Bush, seen here talking down to Nancy Reagan.

But Barbara Bush was no Laura Bush.  She was someone who spoke her mind. She was known for her bluntness and candor.  She said that the issues of abortion and homosexuality had no place in politics. Her husband replied, “keep it dowwwnn… misplaced righteous anger is how we get people to show up…”

She once referred to Geraldine Ferraro as a “4 million dollar … I can’t say it, but it rhymes with rich.”  

When her son was diagnosed with dyslexia, she took up the cause of literacy.  Fun fact: it was Neil Bush who was dyslexic, not W. He’s just illiterate.

Throughout her husband’s presidency, she worked with organizations to help illiterate parents learn to read along with their children, which seems like a good idea.  But once your five year-old is bragging about beating dad in a spelling bee, shit gets ugly.

The White House staff said that she was the friendliest and most easy-going first lady that anyone could remember.  But then again, they did just have to deal with that witch, Nancy.  (Ask for a day off and she would just say no.)

She wrote a children’s book about the 1st dog’s litter of puppies.  Entitled “Millie’s Adventure with Parvo,” the book dealt with the disease that killed all the puppies by eight weeks.

Pretty dark shit, right?

This hit goes to Sue B.!  (and her husband!) This is their first ever hit!  The first is always the sweetest.  Congratulations and may you have many more… just don’t bet me… like most people do.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Ghoul Pool Administrator

Current Standings:

Team Sushi: 160 (Ann Wedgeworth – 20, Malcolm Young – 40, Ruben Cardenas Ramirez – 60, William Rayford – 40)

Jami: 130 – (Emily “Mt. Fuji” Dole – 40, Jim Nabors – 20, Billy Graham – 10, David Ogden Stiers – 30, R. Lee Ermey – 30)

ERIN: 80 (David Cassidy – 40, John Gavin – 20, Roger Bannister – 20)

Josh: 80 – (Earle Hyman – 10, Charles Manson – 20, John Battaglia – 40, Marty Allen – 10)

Girl on Fire:  70 (John Hillerman – 20, Della Reese – 20, Brendan Byrne – 10, Donnelly Rhodes – 20)

Joanne: 50 – (Rose Marie – 10, Jerry Van Dyke – 20, Winnie Mandela – 20)

Wes: 40 – (John Watts Young  -20, Prince Henrik – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Stephen Hawking – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!!!!!!!!!!!! – 20 (Milos Foreman – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus:  20 (Bobby Doerr – 10, Tom Benson – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 20 – (Ursula K. Le Guin – 20)

Sue B.: 10 – (Barbara Bush – 10)