Shortcasket

Erin Moran, who played Joanie (who loved Chachi, but we’re not sure if that love was requited) from “Happy Days,” died at the spry age of 56.

Moran played the cute, spunky, pain-in-the-ass little sister on the classic sitcom “Happy Days,” from 1974 to 1984.

There was a brief, one season stint where she and Chachi moved on to their own musical sitcom, “Joanie Loves Chachi.”  

Musical sitcoms are a terrible idea.  A lesson that was well remembered until the advent of “Cop Rock.”

She complained that in later years, the producers of “Happy Days” told her that she needs to be more sexy.  To which she presumably replied: “Have you seen me?  I might be able to pull off cute, but sexy?”

In 1981, she starred in the movie “Twirl,” which also featured Lisa Whelchel (Blair from “The Facts of Life”), Missy Gold (Katie Gatling from “Benson”), Charles Haid (Andrew Renko from “Hill Street Blues”), Heather Locklear (the lead in many a boy’s wet dream), and multiple stars from “Falcon Crest.”

The cast list reads like a Who Used-To-Be Who list of 80’s TV.

After that failed “Flashdance” audition, it was all over for her.

After Happy Days went off the air, her life jumped the shark and she did not work much.  Sure, she had stints on “The Love Boat,” “Murder, She Wrote,” and “Diagnosis: Murder,” like so many washed-up B-listers… and C-listers ..and– you get the point.

After 1984,Happy Days ended in more way than one.

She spiraled into depression between her lack of work and the mysterious disappearance of her brother, Chuck, which had haunted her for the past nine years.

Like any good episode of “Behind the Music,” Moran turned to drugs and alcohol.

In the 90s she was evicted from a trailer park, which is a pretty hard thing to do.  Trailer parks don’t exactly set a high bar.

According to the Daily Mail, her death was allegedly due to a heroin overdose.  But this is the Daily Mail… so, of course, It has been announced that she probably died of cancer.

They also said that Moran was “broke and homeless” after she was kicked out of her mother-in-law’s trailer, which is a pretty hard thing to do.  Because her mother-in-law doesn’t exactly set a high bar.

According to Paul Petersen, who runs the child-actor advocacy group A Minor Consideration, many former child stars had reached out to her in the past week or so.  (Obviously Ron Howard, with a job offer in hand, was not one of them).

Petersen said, “We did our best with the resources available to us, but it was a very dark room. Some don’t find the light switch in time.”

So, if you got a hold of her… it would have… cured stage four cancer?  Sheesh.  Someone sure thinks a lot of himself.

Scott Baio released the following statement: “Trump is great.  Trump is great.  Trump is great.”

What a dick.

This hit goes to: Wes!  One rookie just took the lead from another one!  Wes sits high upon Ghoul Pool Mountain (well, really more of a hill) with 140 points!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Josh: 120 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 60 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 60 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Team Sushi: 30 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Joanne: 10 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10)