He Died Too Sunni

Murderer, terrorist, polygamist, statutory rapist, and true master of the pan flute, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, died at the spry age of 45

al-Baghdadi was the leader of the Sunni Salafi jihadist militant jihadist organisation known as the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL).  

Or is it Just Islamic State (IS)?  Or is it Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) or Islamic State in Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS as well)?  Or is it just, check this one out: Daesh?  (Which I guess would just be “D.”  Or maybe you would call that “Sunni D.”

Man, these guys have some serious branding issues.  Their worse than “#.”
NOTE: Sunni D is not to be confused with Sunny D.  Although both are evil, it is to varying degrees.

A few weeks ago, Russia claimed to kill him.  But who listens to them?  …Oh, yeah.  He does.

Well, the Syrian Observatory has now confirmed that claim.   How astronomers are so up on who lives,  who dies and who tells your story in a war-torn area is a mystery to me.

al-Baghdadi, shown hear singing “My Heart Will Go On” at the Iraqi Oscars.

 

But the organization that is confirming the kill is known as an accurate, reliable source according to The United Nations, newspaper and nongovernmental organisations.  “Generally, the information on the killings of civilians is very good, definitely one of the best,” said Neil Sammonds, a British researcher for Amnesty International.

If Wikipedia is good enough for my Ghoul Pool research, I’m gonna say that this, much more credible source holds water.

The US has not confirmed the death.  But that’s because they are whiney little bitches who are crying into their pillows, saying, “WE’RE supposed to kill him!  That’s what we do!”

Russia: first in space and first to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Al-Baghdadi was arrested by US Forces in 2004 near Fallujah and detained at the Abu Ghraib.

You remember Abu Ghraib, right?  The place where they tortured and humiliated detainees while taking selfies?

Hmm… now I wonder why he hated America?

Now don’t get me wrong here, our awful treatment of Muslims and atrocities in places like Abu Ghraib are not a justification for the murder of hundreds of people.  The guy was definitely an evil asshole.

But why do we work so hard to make ourselves the targets of evil assholes like him?

This hit goes to: ME!  Yes, I was smart enough to pick the one guy that both the US and Russia wanted to kill.

This gives me a humble 60 points which doubles my score!  I’m now just 20 points behind the two rookie leaders!

Can this be it?!?!  Can this be my return to the shores of Ghoul Pool winnings!?!?!?!

Probably not.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

Former President of Iran, Hashemi Rafsanjani, escaped the Trump presidency at the spry age of 82 by way of a heart attack.

Hashemi had a close association with Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, the guy who overthrew the shah in 1979.  Or, as Americans know him: Ayatollah Ass-a-hole-ah.  

‘merica: we put the “-assy” in “Classy.”

But the Hash-man (as he was not known to his friends) wasn’t all bad.

For instance, he was credited with suggesting that “Death to America” be dropped from the litany of slogans at Tehran’s Friday prayers.  Heh, was this guy great or what?

In the Iran-Iraq war, he was widely credited with persuading the leadership in Tehran to accept a United Nations resolution that ended the fighting.  What a swell guy!

Hashemi never tired pf telling people how big his dick was.

As President he had all those political dissidents and Kurds that he had executed… well, no one is perfect.

Rafsanjani was born into a family of wealthy pistachio framers, a phrase that I never knew existed.

At 4, he left his home village to study theology in the holy city of Qum, where he became a disciple of Ayatollah Khomeini.  I’m not sure if that’s an indoctrination thing or more a Middle-Eastern Doogie-Howser-boy-genius thing.

[OK, according to Wikipedia, he left his village at age 14.  Could the NY Times have a typo?  So, either Trump is right and the NYT is failing and Wikipedia is more reliable, or he left at 4…. So torn between logic and my beliefs…]

But let’s not forget the best thing about Hashemi Rafsanjani: His name.

Hashemi Rafsanjani!  What a fucking astounding name!  It’s the best name this side of Fyvush Finkle!  I want a name my next dog Hashemi Rafsanjani.

I have a feeling that I will be over ruled by my family on that one.  I’d have a better chance naming it Fyvush.

This hit goes to: ME!  I have been picking Hashemi Rafsanjani for years just because I love to say “Hashemi Rafsanjani!”

Now I’m in the At-Least-I-Have-As-Many-Points-As-Bean Club!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Jami: 90 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Wes: 80 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 50 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20 )

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 50 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40)

Josh: 40 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 20 – (William Christopher – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)