He Died Too Sunni

Murderer, terrorist, polygamist, statutory rapist, and true master of the pan flute, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, died at the spry age of 45

al-Baghdadi was the leader of the Sunni Salafi jihadist militant jihadist organisation known as the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL).  

Or is it Just Islamic State (IS)?  Or is it Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) or Islamic State in Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS as well)?  Or is it just, check this one out: Daesh?  (Which I guess would just be “D.”  Or maybe you would call that “Sunni D.”

Man, these guys have some serious branding issues.  Their worse than “#.”
NOTE: Sunni D is not to be confused with Sunny D.  Although both are evil, it is to varying degrees.

A few weeks ago, Russia claimed to kill him.  But who listens to them?  …Oh, yeah.  He does.

Well, the Syrian Observatory has now confirmed that claim.   How astronomers are so up on who lives,  who dies and who tells your story in a war-torn area is a mystery to me.

al-Baghdadi, shown hear singing “My Heart Will Go On” at the Iraqi Oscars.

 

But the organization that is confirming the kill is known as an accurate, reliable source according to The United Nations, newspaper and nongovernmental organisations.  “Generally, the information on the killings of civilians is very good, definitely one of the best,” said Neil Sammonds, a British researcher for Amnesty International.

If Wikipedia is good enough for my Ghoul Pool research, I’m gonna say that this, much more credible source holds water.

The US has not confirmed the death.  But that’s because they are whiney little bitches who are crying into their pillows, saying, “WE’RE supposed to kill him!  That’s what we do!”

Russia: first in space and first to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Al-Baghdadi was arrested by US Forces in 2004 near Fallujah and detained at the Abu Ghraib.

You remember Abu Ghraib, right?  The place where they tortured and humiliated detainees while taking selfies?

Hmm… now I wonder why he hated America?

Now don’t get me wrong here, our awful treatment of Muslims and atrocities in places like Abu Ghraib are not a justification for the murder of hundreds of people.  The guy was definitely an evil asshole.

But why do we work so hard to make ourselves the targets of evil assholes like him?

This hit goes to: ME!  Yes, I was smart enough to pick the one guy that both the US and Russia wanted to kill.

This gives me a humble 60 points which doubles my score!  I’m now just 20 points behind the two rookie leaders!

Can this be it?!?!  Can this be my return to the shores of Ghoul Pool winnings!?!?!?!

Probably not.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Josh: 140 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10, Gordie Tapp – 10, Terry Edwards – 60, Chuck Barris – 20)

Wes: 140 – (Holly Dunn – 50, John Glenn – 10, Debbie Reynolds – 20, David Penrose Buckson – 10, Erin Moran – 50)

Lee Kwang Soo!: – 120 (Alice Drummond – 20, Dr. Henry Heimlich – 10, Hashemi Rafsanjani – 20, Lola Albright – 10, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi – 60)

Jami: 100 – (Fidel Castro – 10, Bernard Frost – 20, Zsa Zsa Gabor – 10, George Michael – 50)

Morrigan’s Mirror: 70 – (William Christopher – 20, Mary Tyler Moore – 20, Moulton “Pete” Marston – 20, Michael Bond – 20)

Team Sushi: 70 – (Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – 30, Roger Moore – 20, Manuel Noriega – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 70 – (Ralph Branca – 10, Craig Sager – 40, Sam Ard – 30)

Joanne: 30 – (Judge Joseph Wapner – 10, Helmut Kohl – 20)

M: 30 – (Sir John Hurt – 30)

Jodi & Husband: – 20 (Bill Dana – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Mumblers: 10 – (Don Rickles – 10)

Nathaniel: 10 – (Peter Sallis – 10)

Mary: 10 – (Chuck Berry – 10)

-. — .-. .- / – …. . / . -..- .–. .-.. — .-. . .-.

Jeremiah Denton, Who blinked T-O-U-R-T-U-R-E in Morse Code at a press conference while being held as a Vietnam POW, died at the spry age of 89.

Also, he was a bullfrog.  He was a good friend of mine.

I never understood a single word he said

It is REALLY hard for a bullfrog to blink in Morse Code.

But I helped him drink his wine

And he always had some mighty fine wine

He always sang about joy to the world

And about boys and girls… which was kind of creepy.

Now he sleeps with the fishies in the deep blue sea.

So, it’s Joy to Nora Barney.

Denton failed his country when he got captured in Vietnam where he was held prisoner for eight years.  In this time, he actually stayed in a Hilton!  Can you believe this guy?  He is browsing the oyster bar of the Hanoi Hilton while our boys are out there fighting the VC!  He was maxin’ and relaxin’, chillin’ like a villain while… oh… it wasn’t actually a Hilton?

He was treated pretty badly?  Beaten and tortured?  Wow, what a coincidence, “tourture” was the word that he blinked in Morse Code! ….wait a minute…. what IF… What if he blinked that word to tell people that he was being tortured?  Wow.  Mind.  Blown.

As mentioned, this hit goes to: Nora the Explorer!  This is Nora’s first hit!  Congratulations!  The first hit is always satisfying.  Especially if it’s someone who was captured and tortured in the service of our country.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Starving Writer – 100 (James Avery – 6’ 5” – 40, L’Wren Scott – 6’4” – 60)

Gianna 80 (Tom Laughlin – 20, Alicia Rhett – 10, Mae Young – 10, Ruth Robinson Duccini – 10, Pete Seeger – 10, Fred Phelps – 20)

Jami: 80 (Ariel Sharon – 20, Philip Seymour Hoffman – 60)

Tailgating with Jesus – 60 (Jerry Coleman – 20, Ralph Kiner – 10, William Clay Ford – 20, Ralph Wilson -10)

The Girl on Fire: 50 (Eleanor Parker – 10, Dave Madden – 20, Ralph Waite – 20)

Joanne: 50 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20, Maximilian Schell – 20)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House) – 30 (Frederick Sanger – 10, Maxine Kumin – 20)

Babysitter: 30 (Mikhail Kalashnikov – 10, Russell Johnson – 20 )

“Imaginary” Steve: 30 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10, Cardinal Ricardo Carles Gordo – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 30 (Ronnie Biggs – 20, Harold Camping – 10)

SPMI: 40 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10, Sid Caesar – 10)

Dora the Explorer: 20 (Jeremiah Denton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 20 (Ralph Waite – 20)

Mostly Mike: 20 (Shirley Temple Black – 20)

Carol’s 1%: 20 (Harold Simmons – 20)

Dick in Town: 10 (Hiroo Onoda – 10)

 

The Price of Death

The world is a slightly better place: one less Texan.  Country “musician” Ray Price, died at the spry age of 87.

In the 50’s he revolutionized Country music by sliding a beer bottle along his guitar… or letting his three-legged hound dog howl on his record… or something.

In 1953, Price founded The Cherokee Boys, a band that got bullied until they were saved by a righteous Billy Jack ass-kickin’.  The Cherokee nation was happy to let him use their name and belittle their race because,

No, that’s not a ventriloquist’s dummy, that’s Ray Price!

you know, it was all in good fun.

He was on The Grand Ole Opry… or is it in the Grand Ole Opry?  Featured in or on the Gand Ole Opry?  Part of the Grand Ole Opry?  What exactly the hell is the Grand Ole Opry?  Isn’t it just a barn with a bunch of hay-seeds trying out for a spot on Hee-Haw?

Price had a string of hits that all sucked because of their unfortunate genre.  I think I’d rather listen to Bette Midler sing The Stones.

Anyway, he died… let’s say with his boots on.  So that JOANNE could get a hit!

Joann has done the impossible!  She has tied me for the lead at 30 points.  But don’t let it go to your head, Joanne.  Tomorrow I’ll get an epic hit that will leave you in the dust, crying like a little girl with a skinned knee.

Happy Pooling,
SPMI

Current Standings:

Joanne: 30 (Ace Parker – 0, Nelson Mandela – 10,  Ray Price – 20)

SPMI: 30 (Peter O’Toole – 20, Joan Fontaine – 10)

Gianna 20 (Tom Laughlin – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 10 (Eleanor Parker – 10)

Good to the Last Drop (© Maxwell House ) – 10 (Frederick Sanger – 10)

“Imaginary” Steve: 10 (Cardinal Domenico Bartolucci – 10)