For Whom the Tinker Bell Tolls

Former television executive and former husband to Mary Tyler Moore, Grant Tinker, died at the spry age of 90.

Tinker toyed with NBC in the early 80s, a time that saw such great shows as Family Ties, Cheers, Manimal,  and The Cosby Show (although, we don’t like to mention that last one so much).

In 1969 he and his then wife, Mary Tyler Moore, started MTM Enterprises (meow) where they hired James L. Brooks… because that’s what you do in TV.  You hire James L. Brooks.

The company’s 1st show was The Mary Tyler Moore Show [a title which was kicked around

Tinker got his NBC job by winning a Johnny Carson look-alike contest.

in development for years], it was moderately successful and some people liked it enough.  The show is known to be reviled in clown communities.

MTM (meow) went on to make shows such as Rhoda (“This is Carlton your doorman.”), The Bob Newhart Show (“Hi, Bob.”), WKRP in Cincinnati (“As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”), Hill Street Blues (“Let’s be careful out there.”) and St. Elsewhere (which was really created by an autistic kid holding a snow globe, so they don’t get a lot credit for that one).

After he foolishly divorced Mary Tyler Moore (Because who the hell would divorce her?  She’s fuckin’ awesome!), Tinker left MTM (meow) because, well… awkward…

He became chairman and CEO of NBC trading the “meow” of “bong bong bong.”  He left in 1986 to make way for his replacement, John Francis “Jack” Donaghy.

Tinker then tried to repeat his success with MTM by forming GTG Entertainment (ummm… woof?) but the business venture failed because it was a hollow shell of what can be created with Mary Tyler Moore at your side!  (Dresses be damned!  I’m wearing mother-fuckin carpris,bitch!)

This hit goes to: Josh!  Josh literally pulled this pick out of his ass in the 58th round.  I guess he was at the point in the night where he was like, “Fuck it, I’m Googling ‘old people” and seeing what comes up!”  Because when I told him about his hit, he had no idea who it was.

Though, I can’t fault him.  I don’t know who half of my picks are.  Between me, the obscure names and the alcohol, a thought don’t have much of a chance.

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 50 – (Holly Dunn – 50)

Josh: 30 – (Florence Henderson – 20, Grant Tinker – 10)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Jami: 10 – (Fidel Castro – 10)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 10 – (Ralph Branca – 10)

The Death Heard ‘Round the World

Ralph Branca, the man who gave up the most famous homerun in baseball history, died at the spry age of 90.

It was called “The Shot Heard ‘Round the World.”  It was the start of the Revolution.  The Minutemen were ready, on the move.  “Take your powder, and take your gun.  Report to General Washington. Hurry men, there’s not an hour to-”  Wait, wait , wait… that don’t seem right…

OK, so there were two shots heard ‘round the world (three if you count Krakatoa).  This one was where the Giants won the pennant.  It was immortalized by the announcer’s call of “The Giants win the pennant!”  A little on the nose, if you ask me.

Bobby Thomson’s dramatic three-run homer came in the ninth inning of the decisive

Though the next few years were rough, General Washington’s men proved they were tough.

third game of a three-game playoff for the pennant in which the Giants trailed, 4-2.  The game—the first ever televised nationally—was seen by millions of viewers across America and heard on radio by millions more, including thousands of American servicemen stationed in Korea.

 

Branca was devastated by the home run.  It was a pain that he would live with it for the rest of his life.

In the car after the game, Ralph asked “Why me?” and his minister told him “The reason God picked you to throw that pitch was because He knew that your faith was strong enough to withstand the agonies that would follow…  Ah, I’m just fuckin’ witchya!  It’s because you masrutbated so much when you were a kid!”

Branca handled his infamy with uncommon valor and later actually formed a bond with Thomson, with whom he did book promotions, public speaking and card show appearances for many years.

It is also worthy to note that in 1947, Branca he made a point to stand next to Jackie Robinson, who had received numerous death threats for being the first African-American to break baseball’s color line. For years afterward, Robinson always cited Branca as one of his biggest champions.  So: stand-up guy.

Plus, if Hollywood has taught me anything, black people would be nowhere if it weren’t for those brave white people.

This hit goes to: Tailgating with Jesus!  Bean gets on the board with an astonishing 10 points!Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 50 – (Holly Dunn – 50)

Josh: 20 – (Florence Henderson – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 10 – (Ralph Branca – 10)

The Brady Corpse

Here’s the story

Of a real old lady

Who died and then gave Josh 20 points

She was 82 and with heart failure

But she was all alone.

Till the one day when she went to Cedars-Sinai.

Say what you will, but that woman had Wessonality!

And they knew, it was much more than a hunch.

That this woman, she could not live forever

That’s the way that she became the Brady Corpse

The Brady Corpse

The Brady Corpse

That’s the way she became the Brady Corpse

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 50 – (Holly Dunn – 50)

Josh: 20 – (Florence Henderson – 20)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Over Dunn

The country singer who wanted you to know that date-rape was OK by her, Holly Dunn died at the spry age of 59.

In 1991, Holly came out with the song “Maybe I Mean Yes.”

The lyrics of this piece of tripe include: “Nothin’s worth havin’ if it ain’t a little hard to get /So let me clarify so you won’t have to try to guess / When I say no I mean maybe, or maybe I mean yes / Ever since woman has talked to man, Every man’s been tryin’ / to understand. What’s the harm in a little mystery?”

Well, the harm in a little mystery is date rape.  I would think that’s pretty obvious.

Hand-shelf.

Because sometimes, she’s going to say no and mean it.  Even she admits that “maybe” she means yes.  So you can’t take her word for it.  Just bang away.  Doesn’t matter what she says because you clearly can’t trust her judgement in this.

She also had a hit single with “Daddy’s Hands.”  A song, that I presume involves her showing the prosecutor where on the doll Daddy put his hands.

I do not have to tell you how awful these songs are because you already know: it’s country “music.”

That and the advocating of date rape.  I mean, what was wrong with her?

This hit goes to: Wes!  The rookie comes strong out of the gates with his 1st hit garnering him 50 points!

Just when we thought that Gianna had this thing all locked up!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Wes: 50 – (Holly Dunn – 50)

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

The Poor Stay Poor, The Dead Get Dead

In a shocking move to protest a Trump presidency, Leonard Cohen died at the spry age of 82.

Saying that Leonard Cohen was an accomplished writer is like saying that space is kinda big.  It’s like saying that country music is merely bad.  It’s like saying that duct tape fixes a few things here and there.

Cohen wasn’t just a legendary musician, he also wrote books of poetry and two novels.  His 1st novel The Favourite Game was an autobiographical bildungsroman.  And now you have to look up that word too.

More than 2,000 recordings of his songs have been made by acts like Judy Collins, U2, Aretha Franklin, R.E.M., Jeff Buckley, Trisha Yearwood and Elton John.  “Bird on a Wire” went on to be recorded by performers including Joe Cocker, Aaron Neville, Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson and was later made into a movie starring Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn.

He will likely be known for his classic song “Hallelujah.”  This song is as incredible as it is

Oh, and he fucking rocked a fedora.

overused.  It was relatively obscure song at first.  Only people who liked good music knew it.  Then it was in “Shrek.”

Next thing you know, the song then appeared in “The West Wing,” “Crossing Jordan,” “Without a Trace,” “The O.C., House,” “Dirt,” “Criminal Minds,” “ER,” “Third Watch,” “Ugly Betty,” “LAX,” “ NCIS,” “Justiça,” “Feast of Love,” “The Edukators,” “Vinterkyss,” “Sugar,” “L’Audition,” “Kiss of Winter,” “Saint Ralph,” “Answer Me,” “Lord of War” and “Watchmen.”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a great song.  But we just need to come up with a new musical cue, people.

He also wrote the song “Everybody Knows.”  I’ve been thinking about this song a lot in the past 48 hours.  Let’s take a quick look at some of the lyrics, shall we?  

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded / Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed  [rolls the dice, casts a vote… Potato/spud]

Everybody knows the war is over / Everybody knows the good guys lost  [God, this is depressing]

Everybody knows the fight was fixed / The poor stay poor, the rich get rich [Tru dat, right, Bernie?]

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking / Everybody knows that the captain lied [Oh, God…]

Everybody got this broken feeling / Like their father or their dog just died [sums up how we all feel perfectly.]

Did he write this song yesterday?  This is like a fucking lyrical photograph of the entire nation right at this moment!

Hold on a minute, I need to go slit my wrists….

While I bleed out, I should inform you that this hit goes to: Gianna!  Yes, she gets the very 1st hit of the year that I know of!  She bursts out of the gates with a whopping 20 points!  It may not seem like much, but it’s 20 more than you have!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Current Standings:

Gianna: 20 – (Leonard Cohen – 20)

Like I said: the song’s still fucking awesome.

The Sinkable Tammy Grimes

Actress and singer Tammy Grimes died at the spry age of 82.

Girmey originated the role of Molly Tobin in the 1960 musical “The Unsinkable Molly Brown.”  Hm.  I wonder who played Molly Brown?

Grimey was born in Lynn, Ma.  Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin, you’ll never come out the way you went in, what looks like gold is really tin, the girls say ‘no’ but they’ll give in, Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin.

On May 16, 1960, Grimey acted and sang as Mehitabel in an abridged version of the musical “Archy and Mehitabel,” about a young boy in Riverdale who woos the lovely Mehitabel with the help of Jughead and the gang.

1966’s “The Tammy Grimes Show” lasted for only a month.  The show was about a modern-day heiress who loved to spend money.  Don’t know why audiences didn’t identify with a character like that.  The critical reviews were pretty terrible.  The decision to cancel the show after only four episodes was almost unheard of at the time.

So, in a way, Tammy was a trailblazer for shows like, “Cavemen,” (featuring the Geico

Wait, this only lasted four episodes?

Cavemen) “Ford Nation,” (A talk show starring Rob Ford and his brother), “The Hasselhoffs,” (no explanation needed) and “Heil, Honey, I’m Home,” (a sitcom about the home life of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun).

Grimes was the wife of Christopher Plummer (that’s “plummer” as in sells and trades purple fruit, not “plumber” as in guy who fixes pipes) and was the mother of Amanda Plummer (that’s Amanda as in “Any of you fucking pricks move and I’ll execute every motherfuckin’ last one of ya!”)

This hit goes to: Gianna!  I know, Gianna getting a theater person?  Whaaaat?  This moves Gianna up to 130 points, still 110 points behind our presumptive winner, Occupy the casket!

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS: I will email the list out when I get the rest of jodi & Husband’s names.

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 220 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20, Addie Fausett – 100)

Jami: 210 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20, Chris Sizemore – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Gianna: 130 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20, Herschell Gordon Lewis – 20, Pete Burns – 50, Tammy Grimes – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 120 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Harmony: 100 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20, Arnold Palmer – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Imaginary Steve: 60 – (King Bhumibol Adulyadej – 20, 谢家麟 – 10, 劉令名 – 30)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Babysitter: 10 – (Kay Starr – 10)

A Starr is Unborn

Singer Kay Starr died at the spry age of 94.

Starr will be remembered for the two number one hits, “Wheel of Fortune,” about a plucky game show host and is non-aging partner and “The Rock And Roll Waltz,” which is less rock and roll and more like the song playing in a Martin Scorsese scene set in the 50s.

Kay became a local radio sensation at age seven and eventually had her own 15-minute show twice a week, earning $3 a performance.  Child labor laws aside, $3 was a hell of a sum of money in the Depression.  [You capitalize Depression when talking about the economic downturn of the 30s, right?]  That converts to a little over $44 in pre-President-Trump dollars.  [Post-President-Trump dollars: it converts back to $3.00.  Vote next Tuesday!]

Her family moved to Memphis, TN.  This move depressed Kay because there was no music scene in Memphis.  Historically, Memphis has been a musical vacuum that can only be

Really?  Me?  I died?

compared to Nashville.  Now, Schenectady!  That was a swingin’ place.  

Despite the lack of a music scene in town, she still managed to keep up gigs and performing on the radio.  At 15, she was chosen to sing with the Joe Venuti orchestra.  Not to be anti-Italian, but there is no way that a bandleader named Venuti was 100% legit.  That’s like saying that a guy named McFeeley is sober.

In order to escape the iron fist of Don Vanuti, she moved to Los Angeles and signed with Wingy Manone’s band because she always wanted to work with someone named “Wingy.”  Honestly, who wouldn’t.  I’m knida hopin’ that HR puts out an ad looking to hire anyone based on the name “Wingy.”

As a bonus, Manone was also the inventor of the chicken wing (hence, the name), so Kay was lousy with wings!  Unfortunately, Buffalo sauce would not be invented for another twenty years.

One of her biggest hits was her version of “(Everybody’s Waitin’ For) The Man with the Bag”, a Christmas song that quickly became a holiday favorite.  This song is awesome and if you do not own a copy, her’s is frickin’ sweet.

This hit goes to: Babysitter!  It’s his first hit this year!  [Really?  Man, he sucks.]  This gives him a firm 10 points, a mere 210 points behind the leader.  Will his list get massacred in the next day and a half?  If so, I’ll have to investigate before awarding points….

Happy pooling,

SPMI

Draft night is TOMORROW!  So exciting!

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 220 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20, Addie Fausett – 100)

Jami: 210 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20, Chris Sizemore – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 120 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Gianna: 110 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20, Herschell Gordon Lewis – 20, Pete Burns – 50)

Harmony: 100 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20, Arnold Palmer – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Imaginary Steve: 60 – (King Bhumibol Adulyadej – 20, 谢家麟 – 10, 劉令名 – 30)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Babysitter: 10 – (Kay Starr – 10)

What Have I Done?

OK, something terrible has happened.  I, your fearless Ghoul Pool Administrator let a Douche-bag pick go unnoticed.  I could see why the draftee would see this as a legitimate pick, but I wouldn’t have allowed it.

But I did allow it.

As a quick explanation: this pick was submitted on a spreadsheet and it was clearly stated who the pick was.  I missed it.  I allowed it out of my own error and I cannot let someone lose points because of my error.  Again, I can see why people would see this pick as fair game.  Douche-bag picks are strictly a judgement call.  

The hit was Addie Fausett whose parents started a Facebook campaign to get as many people to write her a Christmas card as they could.  She was 7 with a rare disease.  

Now, this popped up in the news and could be compared to the Star Wars guy that I also got a hit with.  So, I can see how one would think that it passes the douche-bag test.

This hit does give us a new leader.   To be fair, Pirate told me to not give her points for this hit.  Rather, I insisted upon it because the mix-up was on my end.

I will alter the spreadsheet this year so that the explanations attached to the absentee lists will automatically appear next to the names.  This way we will know who the obscure names are without having to run a macro.

SPMI

Current Standings:

Occupy the Casket: 120 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20, Addie Fausett – 100)

Jami: 210 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20, Chris Sizemore – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 120 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Gianna: 110 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20, Herschell Gordon Lewis – 20, Pete Burns – 50)

Harmony: 100 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20, Arnold Palmer – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Imaginary Steve: 60 – (King Bhumibol Adulyadej – 20, 谢家麟 – 10, 劉令名 – 30)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Bio-Marked for Death

British chemist, emeritus professor and senior research fellow in earth sciences at the University of Bristol (in other words, they guy who gets invited to all the best parties), Geoffrey Eglinton, died at the spry age of 89.  

Here’s to Googling your list!

Eglinton’s insights into the geological fate of organic compounds have made him an internationally respected biogeochemist.  Think: Tony Stark but surrounded by more women.

Meet George Clooney’s competition. 

In addition to the significance of his research on molecular biomarkers, he was responsible for developing numerous techniques that remain in widespread use.  For instance, he was the first one in the office to use post-its.  Now, everyone uses them.  

He was one of the first researchers to illustrate the potential of coupled gas chromatography–mass spectrometry in organic geochemistry, Eglinton also pioneered the use of infrared spectroscopy to characterise both inter- and intra-molecular hydrogen bonding.

Inter AND intra?  No wonder he got all the chicks.

And there ain’t no party like a gas-chromatography–mass-spectrometry party, ‘cuz I don’t know what the hell that is.

These innovative techniques improved understanding of diverse aspects of the distribution, stable isotopic content and provenance of organic compounds in the global environment.

And her is where I confess that I did not understand one fucking word on his Wikipedia page.

“Illustrate the potential of coupled gas chromatography–mass spectrometry in organic geochemistry?”  What the fuck does that mean?  

I may not be the smartest guy in the room.  I amy not be the strongest guy in the room.  I may not be the prettiest guy in the room.  I may not be the best-smelling guy in the room.  But I should be able to understand a Goddamned Wikipedia page!  It’s (mis)information for the masses!

This hit goes to: Occupy the Casket!  This puts Pirate at 120 points!  Still 90 points behind the leader.  She won’t win unless something horribly tragic and horrific happens…

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS: Draft night is 11/5 – a mere 3 days away!

Current Standings:

Jami: 210 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20, Chris Sizemore – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

Occupy the Casket: 120 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10, Geoffrey Eglinton – 20)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Gianna: 110 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20, Herschell Gordon Lewis – 20, Pete Burns – 50)

Harmony: 100 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20, Arnold Palmer – 20)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Imaginary Steve: 60 – (King Bhumibol Adulyadej – 20, 谢家麟 – 10, 劉令名 – 30)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)

Chinese Funeral Drill!

Chinese Physicist, Xie Jialin (谢家麟), died at the spry age of 96.  

He was an expert in accelerator physics and technology and free electron lasers, which means very little to me.  

From 1951 to 1955, he worked at the microwave and high-energy physics laboratory at Stanford University with a spry young Dr. Jonathan Osterman.

In 1955, Prof. XIE decided to return to China where he faced many difficulties including a lack of equipment and up-to-date information, and continuous exposure in a dangerous environment (putting his life in danger at times).  

When asked about this, Xie said, “Yeah, I had the best equipment in Stanford.  Sure we were all cutting-edge with information and technology.  Yeah, there was a McDonald’s within walking distance of the lab… but the real science is done in the stone-age.  You don’t need a… ah, who am I kidding.  They took my wife!  They said that they would kill her unless I invented the microwave oven for them!  Help me!  My penis glows in the dark!”

Xie was successful with  prefabrication research on various components of an electron

This is NOT a representation of Steve’s hits.

linear accelerator, such as an electron gun, accelerating tube, high-power pulse modulator, microwave system and high-power klystron, he built a 30-MeV electron linac in 1964.  So, he was doing this shit when “A Hard Day’s Night” was in theaters… and I still have no idea what the fuck it is.

This hit goes to Imaginary Steve!  …oh, wait.  There’s more.

Chinese scientist Liu Lingming (劉令名) died at the spry age of 76… from what I understand.  

It appears that Liu’s existence has been wiped off of the internet.  Either he was working on some really, really, really top secret shit, or he and his family were killed because he never delivered on that microwave oven.

Imaginary Steve said that he died and I think we can take his word for it.

This gives I-Steve a whoipping 60 points for the year!  (assuming China survives until 2:00 AM this Sunday).

[Did anyone get the Watchmen reference?  No?  ..Nathaniel?]

Happy pooling,

SPMI

PS: Draft night is 11/5 – a mere 3 days away!

Current Standings:

Jami: 210 – (Scott Weiland  – 60, Pat Harrington, Jr. – 20, Umberto Eco – 20, Rob Ford – 60, Erik Bauersfeld – 10, Edward Albee – 20, Chris Sizemore – 20)

Tailgating w/ Jesus: 140 (Dolph Schayes – 20, Meadowlark Lemon – 20, Monte Irvin – 10, Muhammad Ali – 30, Pat Summitt – 40, Buddy Ryan – 20)

Joanne: 130 (Joey Feek – 60, Joe Garagiola – 10, Julius La Rosa – 20, Buckwheat Zydeco – 40)

Lee Kwang-Soo (Giraffe): 130- (Daniel Fleetwood – 70, Abe Vigoda – 10, Nancy Fucking Reagan! – 10!, George Martin – 10, Elie Wiesel – 20, Mike “Mighty Atom, Jr.” Greenstein – 10)

The Girl on Fire: 120 (Wayne Rogers – 20, René Angélil – 30, George Gaynes – 10, James Noble – 10, Doris Roberts – 10, Marni Nixon – 20, Fyvush Finkel – 10, Steven Hill – 10)

Gianna: 110 (Robert Stigwood – 20, Lois Duncan – 20, Herschell Gordon Lewis – 20, Pete Burns – 50)

Harmony: 100 (Harper Lee – 20, George Kennedy – 10, Frank Sinatra, Jr. – 30, Gene Wilder – 20, Arnold Palmer – 20)

Occupy the Casket: 100 – (Natalie Cole – 40, Vanity – 50, Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 10)

Team Sushi: 80 (Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer – 60, Morley Safer – 20)

Imaginary Steve: 60 – (King Bhumibol Adulyadej – 20, 谢家麟 – 10, 劉令名 – 30)

Mostly Mike: 60 (Marvin Minsky – 20, Mihaly “Michu” Meszaros – 30, Janet Waldo – 10)

Age of Aquarius: 60 (William Guest – 30, Merle Haggard – 30)

Nathaniel: 50 (Alan Young – 10, Kenny Baker – 20, Glenn Yarbrough – 20)

Mortician’s Daughter: 50 – (Justice Antonin Scalia – 30, Bud Collins – 20)